hugs @SillyOldBear. Are you alone today? Sending a good thought to you.
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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
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Yeah, alone today. Did not feel like attending church. No internet of TV tomorrow. Xfinity is doing some kind of upgrading. I am sure it is so they can charge more. Is only SUPPOSED to take a day to complete.
Hope you are feeling better about yourself and making progress on leaving the past behind you.
Hope you are feeling better about yourself and making progress on leaving the past behind you.
i have always drank loads of water. Living in one of the driest states requires it. Water is my life source and carried water bottles long before they became a thing. i do add a drink enhancer Mio. Otherwise water feels like a rock in my stomach. my docs are all aware of how much i drink and encourage it because my system shuts down if i drink less than 128oz for even 1 day. Foods i tolerate are dill pickles (within reason). Occasionally i can have a small snack slice of cheese and even less occasionally some jerky without getting too sick. i never know from moment to moments what i can n can not have. i tried to eat after work today... made chicken n italian sausage meatballs n pasta with alfredo... n got 2 bites of pasta n half a meatball in n my body shut down quickly. i was sitting on my son's bed n had to lay down. Slept for nearly 3 hours. It's not like i don't try, it just gets extremely discouraging n i give up for a few days n try again. With the trip... i can tolerate water with mio, i often enjoy a rehab monster. They have no carbonation so i can have them. i used to tolerate a small handful of nuts or like a trail mix... however, with how my body is now shutting down n forcing me to sleep after consuming anything other than water, i will not try that while on the road. Maybe before i need to sleep... seems to be a good way to get some zzzzzs in.
It feels like there's always an excuse from me... as to why this or why that... it's all been going on for so very long that it is just how it is now. The worst began back just after turning 28 with loads of major surgeries, in a very short time, to try n fix my body. i will be 53 next month. It's a long time to feel so shi*** and to not know. Granted... about half that time i ended up boycotting drs because i was fed up several times n gave up till i was forced to go from er trips.
It feels like there's always an excuse from me... as to why this or why that... it's all been going on for so very long that it is just how it is now. The worst began back just after turning 28 with loads of major surgeries, in a very short time, to try n fix my body. i will be 53 next month. It's a long time to feel so shi*** and to not know. Granted... about half that time i ended up boycotting drs because i was fed up several times n gave up till i was forced to go from er trips.
I'm feeling better, thanks @SillyOldBear. Waxing metaphorical here, lol, sorry. It felt like it was a long series of switchbacks I had to walk, and I'm not done. I'm starting to get a view of the terrain.
I hope your internet and TV come back as promised. 🤗 Waves from over here in the 'south.'
I hope your internet and TV come back as promised. 🤗 Waves from over here in the 'south.'
I feel terrible. It’s been an awful week for me, and I broke my earphones today. They were the best pair I’ve ever had.
I ordered a replacement and I’m so grateful that I can get it by tomorrow, I’m just sad and ashamed that my original pair broke. I dropped it on my way to work… retraced my steps and found it, but people had stepped on it and all of the parts and wires had broken off, and it was water-damaged.
I’ve been so unlucky and miserable this week, and it feels like my woes have just been never-ending. I haven’t been able to catch a break. I wish that people wouldn’t tell me to just “move on” and “get over it”… every day is a battle for me. Every waking moment is a battle. I feel like a prisoner in my own skin. No moment that I spend as me is a good moment. I can’t do anything but sleep away the pain because every time I’m alive, I want to die.
I ordered a replacement and I’m so grateful that I can get it by tomorrow, I’m just sad and ashamed that my original pair broke. I dropped it on my way to work… retraced my steps and found it, but people had stepped on it and all of the parts and wires had broken off, and it was water-damaged.
I’ve been so unlucky and miserable this week, and it feels like my woes have just been never-ending. I haven’t been able to catch a break. I wish that people wouldn’t tell me to just “move on” and “get over it”… every day is a battle for me. Every waking moment is a battle. I feel like a prisoner in my own skin. No moment that I spend as me is a good moment. I can’t do anything but sleep away the pain because every time I’m alive, I want to die.
Fighting to be ok. My anxiety and depression levels are high. There are reasons for some of it, but the majority is simply because I am bipolar and am stuck going through a cycle. Its hard not to SH at these times.
Also, the cat is sick and I have a vet appointment late this afternoon. Problem is, the parking lot is still icy and I am afraid of falling. Ahhhhhh
Also, the cat is sick and I have a vet appointment late this afternoon. Problem is, the parking lot is still icy and I am afraid of falling. Ahhhhhh
It's always a battle to feel ok, especially after a weekend of isolation. Even at work, my job is very routine and the girls that I share the task with leave the brunt of it to me, which stresses me out to get it done every day. I look back and realize that my life is calmer now, but as I get older at 55, it's lonelier. I've been wondering if it's all even worth it. I've done everything in someone's life that could possibly be done I believe, what's left?
I hope you have a better week. I understand about sleeping a lot to avoid pain. We care about you here @From_Venus.
Sorry you are feeling this and about what happened. It seems to be a day for it, I had a freak episode and broke my glasses - they came out of my top pocket but before I'd realised they'd dropped by my feet and I'd stood on them, the arm was bent and when I tried to straighten it, it fell off. They can be replaced - and I'm glad you were able order a replacement too, but it's really frustrating when these things happen!
I’m in sympathy with you. I’m 64 and even though I had a brief relationship with someone else I have been lonely since my divorce. Heck even in my marriage I was still lonely. I’m just coasting like you living in the present moment. Getting by.
i am coping with it by going to exercise and work. Wash lather and repeat. Nothing to look forward to. So I get you. Nothing to commit suicide over but I wish there was something more to live for.
i am coping with it by going to exercise and work. Wash lather and repeat. Nothing to look forward to. So I get you. Nothing to commit suicide over but I wish there was something more to live for.
