Last day "off" before i retire - i'm part time. An hour and a half of tai chi, a trip to the grocery store , An hour and a half raking leaves (so I don't have to pay for a fall cleanup) and now I have two hours and a half to fill my time for the rest of this unproductive day. I do have cat paralysis now but i can't spend the day on my computer. The cat will have to leave at some point. I'm tired and feeling guilty of not working. This is what i worry about retirement - how I am going to fill my day when not working. My former co-workers say it will take 6 weeks to get in the groove. I will survive this!
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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
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Tired. Had a long day, up at 8am, dentist to start the day, mountains of emails and admin in between meetings, finished work at 8pm and the messages were still coming in.... Going to bed now. Hope I sleep tonight because I certainly didn't last night or the night before.... So not quite sure how I'm staying upright, never mind getting through a punishing schedule.
Whatever it is you can deal with it 
I came home from vaca to a fight between my daughter and niece and all my fiance's burboun gone. Today I have to get rid of all the remaining alcohol in the house. My niece is begging me for one more shot and she's a hot mess.
Im so worried about her. She's living on my couch for the time being, usually passed out. I don't want to be an enabler. She's crying that she's so sorry that she's doing this to me. I keep telling her, it's ok it's in the past. I don't know what the right thing to do is regarding alcoholics and their withdrawal too. I have faith in her, so I guess that's a start.
I don't mind confronting my problems but this one makes me uncomfortable and sad.
Im so worried about her. She's living on my couch for the time being, usually passed out. I don't want to be an enabler. She's crying that she's so sorry that she's doing this to me. I keep telling her, it's ok it's in the past. I don't know what the right thing to do is regarding alcoholics and their withdrawal too. I have faith in her, so I guess that's a start.
I don't mind confronting my problems but this one makes me uncomfortable and sad.
I think the question of how to be supportive of a loved one without enabling their addiction is just about the hardest boundary to work out between them and you.
I can’t tell you any “formula” to determine where the line should be, but I do feel it’s important to have some boundaries, e.g., going to treatment or peer support a minimum number of times per week. It’s a way for them to show that they are willing to change and for you to see if their stated intent is genuine. There are also support groups for people who are trying to help a loved one in recovery- I could offer the ones I know of if you’re interested.
I can’t tell you any “formula” to determine where the line should be, but I do feel it’s important to have some boundaries, e.g., going to treatment or peer support a minimum number of times per week. It’s a way for them to show that they are willing to change and for you to see if their stated intent is genuine. There are also support groups for people who are trying to help a loved one in recovery- I could offer the ones I know of if you’re interested.
I'm with @LumberJack on this. There are some support resources available for this, but it's also ok if you don't want that.
Feeling a bit more off than usual today. Not a bad off... not a good off. Just off. The only way i can explain it. Some things i should understand and i know i know what is being said... and yet i am confused. An example is i looked at a few very common musical instruments in a picture and 2 out of the 5 i couldn't remember what they are. Not just their names.. but what they are, how they are played, what's their class, that sorta thing. It made me very angry at my brain cell. i Know Music. i know most instruments. my knowledge of instruments of old is lacking a bit... however i have yet to find an instrument i don't like. Even the theremin lol. It's strange... but i still like it.
I went to therapy at noon and I reliably feel better after that. It is because I get feedback and I get to practice with my skills in a supervised (aka safe) environment. This normally holds up for 3 days, give or take.
However, about 2 hours after I left her office, up comes what feels like a tidal wave of just feeling like absolute hell. Like I have been dragged underwater in a sea of pain and now the riptide is carrying me out to sea. It’s hard to ignore that kind of hurt. I did try, though. I acknowledged it and turned my attention back to grocery shopping. It kept coming up over and over again.
I was trying to identify what was bothering me, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. So I had no choice, really, but to ride the waves as this utter pain of every hell possible was rising and falling. I couldn’t not notice it.
As I was driving home, I got a glance of what it’s about. I am still suffering from the post traumatic stress of that awful inpatient experience. I was watching it as it morphed into a logical argument that I could base a complaint to the nursing board. It is calming down, but I would rather not have to bother. I think I should try getting this out, though. God knows that sitting around being outraged is not moving me past it. I don’t know if it will help, but it’s something. Maybe if it doesn’t help, I might have a better idea of what would.
However, about 2 hours after I left her office, up comes what feels like a tidal wave of just feeling like absolute hell. Like I have been dragged underwater in a sea of pain and now the riptide is carrying me out to sea. It’s hard to ignore that kind of hurt. I did try, though. I acknowledged it and turned my attention back to grocery shopping. It kept coming up over and over again.
I was trying to identify what was bothering me, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. So I had no choice, really, but to ride the waves as this utter pain of every hell possible was rising and falling. I couldn’t not notice it.
As I was driving home, I got a glance of what it’s about. I am still suffering from the post traumatic stress of that awful inpatient experience. I was watching it as it morphed into a logical argument that I could base a complaint to the nursing board. It is calming down, but I would rather not have to bother. I think I should try getting this out, though. God knows that sitting around being outraged is not moving me past it. I don’t know if it will help, but it’s something. Maybe if it doesn’t help, I might have a better idea of what would.
You know what I am tired of holding this shit in, imma straight go ahead and say it. I can’t even afford a therapist and tell them what has been bothering me in the past 4 years of living abroad. All the Iranians I met in this city are assholes. The men are controlling and the girls are jealous and insecure. I wanna befriend white people. I don’t care if there are assholes among them at least I won’t feel betrayed by my own. Sadly the language barrier has been making it hard.