I am maybe finally acknowledging that I'm neurodivergent in some way. I have always felt so different - especially in groups, like everybody else knows a code that I just don't have the key to. It's not so much autism or ADHD, which are among the more well known forms, but comes down to being far more sensitive (a highly sensitive person in fact) to the average person. Slap it together with a high degree of introversion and you can see why I quickly backpedal when I walk into a social minefield despite trying my best. I've been in tears because I wanted to go and be part of the group, but it felt like trying to headbutt my way through a brick wall and nobody threw me a single lifeline. If that person I said hello to had just acknowledged me, or someone had...Or it had been a bit more organised. Or something. But these things are designed for extroverts, not late night cat fussing introverted HSPs like me 😟
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No, which is funny. I am no longer in AZ and my new license is supposed to be renewed every 5 yrs or so. I have been losing weight since I moved, so my newer license portrays a much more - rotund - version of myself. It's good reinforcement though. On the off chance I need to show ID I can look at it and see how far I have come. 
I have been there, and I get it. I am definitely not a HSP, if anything I am an ISP (insufficiently sensitive person, aka bull in a china shop). Nonetheless not being acknowledged when you say hello is upsetting for even the normies and rejection sensitivity on top of that (in my case) can lead to bad feelings. Same goes for the preference for more organized functions. I do NOT do well in those types of events where you are just supposed to mingle and there's no basic structure to give me an outline. I also get very anxious and just want to run away. It's been like that since I was a little kid; one of my earliest memories is around 5 y/o and at wedding for my aunt (dad's sister) and my uncle-to-be. I remember it because of the uncontrollable bloody nose that erupted. I think I was so out of sorts that I was breathing shallowly enough in this dry climate to have those capillaries burst. To be fair, though, at that age and since, I am prone to nosebleeds.
Cautiously optimistic. I have been avoiding everything except basic hygiene, not cooking, not cleaning, hardly eating anything and when I do it's pre-packaged food. Place is such a mess now that it's taking way more work to dig around through all the stuff that's out of place to find one thing I need for a given task. Finally feel like I've hit a breaking point where I can motivate myself to get back on track, because being a lazy slob is actually more work after all. I'm going to take advantage of the fact that nothing is where it should be to re-organize. Secondarily, the process of optimizing my space will allow me to deep clean my floors that are hard to get to - e.g. under the bed and under boxes that I have still not unpacked yet. I'm not entirely realistic about what I can do. Being aware of this, I am not going to berate myself if I fall short of everything I want to do today. Experimenting with hi/med/lo priorities on my to-do list, and then some reward type activities (e.g., screen time) for in between the heavy lifting.
No, which is funny. I am no longer in AZ and my new license is supposed to be renewed every 5 yrs or so. I have been losing weight since I moved, so my newer license portrays a much more - rotund - version of myself. It's good reinforcement though. On the off chance I need to show ID I can look at it and see how far I have come.
Lost, lonely, and scared. I know it's my depression talking, but that doesn't make it less painful. On top of that I don't feel up to my job search, which raises my anxiety. I think it all adds up to hopelessness, and a desire to self destruct. Not in a suicide, but there are ways to destroy my life without destroying my body. I find this frustrating.
Right now my body is just a container for a huge amount of pain. My chest feels like someone just hit it with a baseball bat all across the top. Everything else feels too heavy. Even holding myself upright is a constant effort. When I forget, then I collapse and my shoulders, neck and upper back start to hurt along with everything else.
Right now my body is just a container for a huge amount of pain. My chest feels like someone just hit it with a baseball bat all across the top. Everything else feels too heavy. Even holding myself upright is a constant effort. When I forget, then I collapse and my shoulders, neck and upper back start to hurt along with everything else.
