How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[AvidFan]

Like I am in a Kafka novel. More Das Schloß 🏰 than Die Verwandlung 🪲

 

[PrincessPure]

My heart, am I supposed to be OK???? A massacre beyond one’s imagination is happening in my country and no one cares. I was there until 2 years ago and the things I saw were beyond describe and definitely triggering.

How does the university expect us to function and take exams like a normal human. As I am even guilty to be alive right now…

I just read this, I can’t even get my thoughts straight. I was there 2 days ago not 2 years*

 

[PrincessPure]

I think people care about it, but the experience is going to be most intense among people from your own country.

I live abroad in a city with a huge Iranian community and everyone is shattered into pieces. I’m not sure how much I can even say here but even those living abroad are being threatened for marching. My friend just talked to her parents for 1 minute and she was crying so loud the whole lobby could hear it. I feel disgusted in being alive.

 

[I_waste_everything]

I'm thinking about when I had gas problems in class in grade school.

I feel angry and disgusted at myself, and embarrassed. It makes me want to die all over again.

 

[Windhover]

Terrible. Anxious. I have new errands/appointments/stuff I must do tomorrow, and as sometimes happens with me, I'm feeling somewhat panicked and ill. I need some calories but haven't eaten because I can't.

 

[Windhover]

My heart, am I supposed to be OK???? A massacre beyond one’s imagination is happening in my country and no one cares. I was there until 2 years ago and the things I saw were beyond describe and definitely triggering.

How does the university expect us to function and take exams like a normal human. As I am even guilty to be alive right now…

So incredibly sorry for this happening. It shouldn't be happening, and I don't know how you are bearing up under the strain. Your university should be supporting you.

 

[AvidFan]

I live abroad in a city with a huge Iranian community and everyone is shattered into pieces. I’m not sure how much I can even say here but even those living abroad are being threatened for marching. My friend just talked to her parents for 1 minute and she was crying so loud the whole lobby could hear it. I feel disgusted in being alive.

Sorry you and your people are going through this. ☹️

 

[AvidFan]

Terrible. Anxious. I have new errands/appointments/stuff I must do tomorrow, and as sometimes happens with me, I'm feeling somewhat panicked and ill. I need some calories but haven't eaten because I can't.

Hugs if they help @seabird ❤️

 

[Windhover]

@AvidFan Thank you, yes hugs help.

(h) back if you want

 

[PrincessPure]

Spoiler

So I was in Iran until Tuesday, and I spent 5 days there after the protests and massacre escalated. I have seen things beyond word, beyond description, that I didn’t know were humanly possible before. Idek where to dump this trauma. At least most of my friends in this environment didn’t go back to Iran for Christmas and haven’t seen it all in person.

My flight back to Italy was with a foreign airline which ofc got cancelled, so I purchased a last minute Iranian airline flight 5 or 6 times the price. Which emptied my mom’s credit card. Ofc I haven’t talked to her or any of my family and friends since the exit as they have no internet. I feel guilty to be alive.

 

[ClassicsFan]

Like I want to scream out into the void.

 

[I_waste_everything]

Spoiler

So I was in Iran until Tuesday, and I spent 5 days there after the protests and massacre escalated. I have seen things beyond word, beyond description, that I didn’t know were humanly possible before. Idek where to dump this trauma. At least most of my friends in this environment didn’t go back to Iran for Christmas and haven’t seen it all in person.

My flight back to Italy was with a foreign airline which ofc got cancelled, so I purchased a last minute Iranian airline flight 5 or 6 times the price. Which emptied my mom’s credit card. Ofc I haven’t talked to her or any of my family and friends since the exit as they have no internet. I feel guilty to be alive.

This is horror. I'm sorry. I pray for all under the cruel umbrella. I bid you, your friend, and your families all be safe.

 

[Windhover]

I'm gald you feel it is okay to put some of the trauma here @PrincessPure .

Spoiler: More

If I may say so, you're in shock, have been traumatised, have unanswered worries and don't deserve to feel guilty as well. I hope the guilt at least can go away somewhat. I think for your sake and everyone's who has seen terror, we cannot help but identify with those who have been injured &/or killed, and our mind doesn't have any pathway to help it deal with it.

My condolences and sorrow for you, your family, your fellow citizens, and my kind of prayers for now, and for the future.

 

[I_waste_everything]

Terrible. Anxious. I have new errands/appointments/stuff I must do tomorrow, and as sometimes happens with me, I'm feeling somewhat panicked and ill. I need some calories but haven't eaten because I can't.

I am sorry. I bid you might withbearing and overcoming. And I'm wishing you as good sleep as you can get tonight, for what you're up against tomorrow.

 

[I_waste_everything]

@AvidFan Thank you, yes hugs help.

(h) back if you want

Offering a hug of mine own if it would be acceptable.

 

[cymbele]

Sorry for interjecting my thoughts about me: lonely and hurting physically. Tonight I couldn’t get out of my car and stand up I hurt so bad. The pain has subsided but I’m still sad that I’m going to be taking my bucket list trip in July in pain

 

[puffymilk]

Good

 

[LumberJack]

Feeling strangely euphoric. I'm probably not going to still feel that way too much later, but I think I've got endorphins flowing right now. I woke up in severe stomach cramps, which is a rare, but also a regular, occurrence for me. I am prescribed an anti-spasmodic for this problem. I also took a couple of acetaminophen (paracetamol) tablets because the pain was so bad that I was not going to make it worse. I don't know if it's that the medicine kicked in, that I'm now sitting up instead of laying down, or that my body suddenly released a flood of endorphins from the magnitude of the pain, but it's that kind of feeling.

I wish I knew how to get this from exercise, aka a runner's high. I can exert myself in the gym for 45 minutes nonstop and be able to feel my pulse in my neck and my forehead without getting these endorphins. I am sure I would exercise more regularly if I could get that feeling.

 

[Shinzon1]

Feel like I'm going to walk through the fire of hell.

Hope it's worth it this time

 

[AvidFan]

Like I might as well just quit this life. Had another awkward bastard wasting my time at work - spent 2 hours on that. Decided I'd blow off steam and go to my running group. Was all going well, until my foot landed in slightly the wrong place and I face/rib planted on the pavement. Knees and hands took brunt, but then crashed into my arm with my ribs. It's bad enough now, tomorrow it's going to be full on agony, and I know how these things go with me - I'll have months of it. So sleep is fucked, exercise is fucked, and all because I tried to do the right thing. Now I'm in pain and made a spectacle of myself so I'll probably never go back to the group again. I'll probably end up on serious pain relief, which is my major vice, had managed to leave that alone, but fuck it what's the point.