-
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Please read THIS THREAD about a rebrand for SF.
How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
Really, really bad right now. The financial stress is getting stronger every day. It’s also seems to be going nonstop.
I guess it’s not helpful to worry like this, but try telling that to my thoughts. It’s not working! I have always been good with money and employment until now, so it is especially hard to be staring down a return to poverty. I am good with finances because I grew up with my single mom who was a stay at home mom until the divorce. She worked 2-3 minimum wage jobs at a time to keep us housed and fed. There wasn’t much left after that; we even had to get food assistance from her church, which was great to have, but I was ashamed. So we grew up in poverty and I had busted my ass in education to get a good job and then at work to get promoted on schedule.
I guess it’s not helpful to worry like this, but try telling that to my thoughts. It’s not working! I have always been good with money and employment until now, so it is especially hard to be staring down a return to poverty. I am good with finances because I grew up with my single mom who was a stay at home mom until the divorce. She worked 2-3 minimum wage jobs at a time to keep us housed and fed. There wasn’t much left after that; we even had to get food assistance from her church, which was great to have, but I was ashamed. So we grew up in poverty and I had busted my ass in education to get a good job and then at work to get promoted on schedule.
Well, life sucks sometimes. Sometimes it’s better, but, looking at the trend over the past 10 years, it’s probably that the rolling 12 month average is entirely downward sloping. To be fair, I was in a rut since 2019 and I stopped being an overachiever because my values changed such that my desire to be a good person moved to the top, displacing income magnitude. I have only me to blame, but I definitely also have hit some awful luck lately.
I think younger me could have written (probably did, even) something very similar. I had 2 sort of psychosomatic states: climbing the walls, or wishing to jump out of my skin.
TL; DR: maybe it’s a good idea to get a rest somehow. Those thoughts are likely not true. You do need something, but it’s going to be hard to identify the unmet needs when the emotions are so intense.
More detail in case of insomnia:
I want to be clear that I am not offering advice. My response is rather intended as food for thought, which I feel is important to mention. If you are like me, you probably have already gotten more advice than you could possibly sort out, let alone decide what to follow and what not to.
With that disclaimer, I can say that I have gotten to a place where I am able to make a valid and sound argument that I am both likable and lovable. I have also learned to be usually comfortable in my own skin. I am definitely in a bad place now, but I know I can do i.
Based on the imagery you used in that earlier post, it sounds like a lot of pain is there. When there is too much pain we don’t have the ability to make good decisions. Making a cost-benefit analysis is not going to happen, because the very brain structures we use for logic are starved of energy.
The blood flow is rerouted to the muscles, especially the extremities because we are in a state of fight or flight, and if in that state too long, we freeze. I am probably not telling you anything new, but using this as a point of reference, it sounds like you may be able to shift the pain by resting, and if not that, something that gets your mind off the pain. Sorry about the run on sentence making up an entire paragraph.. that’s how my brain works and I couldn’t see how to break it up right away.
So what I am saying, without any expectation that you will do anything that is not intuitively appealing, is that it might be possible to engage in something like a hobby that you at least used to enjoy, or perhaps any form of distraction that is relaxing. Maybe even something altruistic if you feel up for it. These are the things that have worked for me in similar affective trials.
TL; DR: maybe it’s a good idea to get a rest somehow. Those thoughts are likely not true. You do need something, but it’s going to be hard to identify the unmet needs when the emotions are so intense.
More detail in case of insomnia:
I want to be clear that I am not offering advice. My response is rather intended as food for thought, which I feel is important to mention. If you are like me, you probably have already gotten more advice than you could possibly sort out, let alone decide what to follow and what not to.
With that disclaimer, I can say that I have gotten to a place where I am able to make a valid and sound argument that I am both likable and lovable. I have also learned to be usually comfortable in my own skin. I am definitely in a bad place now, but I know I can do i.
Based on the imagery you used in that earlier post, it sounds like a lot of pain is there. When there is too much pain we don’t have the ability to make good decisions. Making a cost-benefit analysis is not going to happen, because the very brain structures we use for logic are starved of energy.
The blood flow is rerouted to the muscles, especially the extremities because we are in a state of fight or flight, and if in that state too long, we freeze. I am probably not telling you anything new, but using this as a point of reference, it sounds like you may be able to shift the pain by resting, and if not that, something that gets your mind off the pain. Sorry about the run on sentence making up an entire paragraph.. that’s how my brain works and I couldn’t see how to break it up right away.
So what I am saying, without any expectation that you will do anything that is not intuitively appealing, is that it might be possible to engage in something like a hobby that you at least used to enjoy, or perhaps any form of distraction that is relaxing. Maybe even something altruistic if you feel up for it. These are the things that have worked for me in similar affective trials.
not any safe shelters. The people in the streets are a lot more than the shelters could even physically handle. Add on to that the higher probability that a person with a hard drug addiction, or a serious mental illness (schizophrenia, psychosis, unmedicated bipolar 1) - will end up homeless and in the process end up with both SMI and IV/IM drug addiction. So even if I lucked into finding space, I’m surrounded by dangerous people who I don’t have experience handling in one on one encounters.
Along with that the calculating sociopaths who go into these populations with the intent of preying upon the vulnerable. In my case individually, I lack the street smarts that I would need to avoid being eaten alive and spit out in one day.
This is not assumptions on my part; every one of the details above are from my experience volunteering with a food bank, in the recovery community, and/or performing music that frequently puts me in touch with the real squatters who know how to do it.
Along with that the calculating sociopaths who go into these populations with the intent of preying upon the vulnerable. In my case individually, I lack the street smarts that I would need to avoid being eaten alive and spit out in one day.
This is not assumptions on my part; every one of the details above are from my experience volunteering with a food bank, in the recovery community, and/or performing music that frequently puts me in touch with the real squatters who know how to do it.
I’m so full of rage these days I cannot happen to calm down one second. It’s hard to breathe.
I wish this forum was more open when it comes to political and religious topics. It’s suffocating.
I remember the little girl that I was. So smart, so full of life, not this broken shell of a thing that I am now. How dare they do that to me??? My parents were never religious to begin with and I naturally picked everything up the same way. There were many times I was belittled or shamed for it at school, on the street or in the library. Every time by adults. Geographic curse is so real. Maybe if I was born somewhere else I wouldn’t be so depressed, or at least better.
These days I have seen countless posts , comments, tweets… it seems everyone is losing faith. That everyone hates what has been enforced to them since they were little. Everyone is turning away, radically so. I don’t feel alone anymore.
A new update has reported the number of dead ppl in the recent massacre in Iran goes up to 40k. Doesn’t shock me based on what I saw those nights actually. Could be even more. I see videos and stories from those souls and my whole existence hurts and I cry all the time. Up until what point do you insist on enforcing something on millions of people whose faith turned into radical hatred in the end???
I wish this forum was more open when it comes to political and religious topics. It’s suffocating.
I remember the little girl that I was. So smart, so full of life, not this broken shell of a thing that I am now. How dare they do that to me??? My parents were never religious to begin with and I naturally picked everything up the same way. There were many times I was belittled or shamed for it at school, on the street or in the library. Every time by adults. Geographic curse is so real. Maybe if I was born somewhere else I wouldn’t be so depressed, or at least better.
These days I have seen countless posts , comments, tweets… it seems everyone is losing faith. That everyone hates what has been enforced to them since they were little. Everyone is turning away, radically so. I don’t feel alone anymore.
A new update has reported the number of dead ppl in the recent massacre in Iran goes up to 40k. Doesn’t shock me based on what I saw those nights actually. Could be even more. I see videos and stories from those souls and my whole existence hurts and I cry all the time. Up until what point do you insist on enforcing something on millions of people whose faith turned into radical hatred in the end???
I'm so sorry @PrincessPure, I don't know what else to say. Sending you thoughts of support, and a hope for future safety. I hope you are taking care, keep going in school. I've been talking about this with a close family member who works with a person who is also from your country. It's so hard because she's unable to go back to see her family.
Please dont be so hard on yourself @ClassicsFan. You are not stupid.
