I'm really hurting. Unsure of what started the avalanche, but this morning I got really spun up over something. That thing is significant and is something I wish to do more about, but I won't even be effective at that if I let this rage eat at me. Despite this awareness, though, I can get blindsided by it. Something random will come up, or even a certain thought in the back of my mind when I am doing something else will remind me of a certain incident in the past. I usually catch it in time because I have been practicing at doing this. However, when I miss it, then it causes me a lot of trouble. When it happens too frequently, it can create a feedback loop that then takes a lot of effort to contain. This effort in turn reduces my capacity for taking care of the things I need to be focused on presently to stop my life from falling apart even more than it already is.
Nonetheless, I am a stubborn SOB and to date I have gotten up exactly one more time than I have fallen down.