How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[Lonely dude30]

Tired I finished work today

 

[Windhover]

Not mood but viewpoint, like I have been heading here a long time and suddenly another particular goal is ahead of me. It seems ominous and difficult, maybe impossibly so. The phrase false summit comes to mind.

 

[Windhover]

I will try to update, please keep fingers crossed for me!

Fingers crossed you've arrived at your destination and body is holding up well with no or a minimum of pain AvidFan. Hope there's some good food and rest happening.

 

[I_waste_everything]

I'm coming apart as I try to brute-force my way into my memory to find whether of not I have failed in a particularly appalling way which, if I did, absolutely makes me faultful meat to be slaughtered.

 

[AvidFan]

Fingers crossed you've arrived at your destination and body is holding up well with no or a minimum of pain AvidFan. Hope there's some good food and rest happening.

Thanks @seabird - got here and walked 15000 steps altogether, including carrying my bags. Went from absolutely fearing physical collapse to strolling on the beach at sunset. So hopefully can relax now the stress of travelling and body glitches out of the way!

 

[total eclipse]

Hell

 

[Lostman85]

Hurt,scared,wornout,worried,useless,alone,and feel like my life aint going to get no better nomatter what i do. Oh forgot the stress part. If it wasnt for the people here i wouldnt be able to cope but its never going to go away. so thanks

 

[Windhover]

which, if I did, absolutely makes me faultful meat to be slaughtered.

Not literally, I hope. While memories can be sharply etched into our minds, it is subjective and can be influenced, nudged this way and that, by other people's input. I'm sorry you're feeling so dark. I just hope you can work through past this and find ways to be compassionate with yourself. I suppose in a way I'm talking at myself.

 

[Windhover]

Hurt,scared,wornout,worried,useless,alone,and feel like my life aint going to get no better nomatter what i do. Oh forgot the stress part. If it wasnt for the people here i wouldnt be able to cope but its never going to go away. so thanks

Thanks for the support you've given and kind words. I hope you find a peaceful spot and arespite from the emotions and stress.There's always support here.

 

[Windhover]

Thanks @seabird - got here and walked 15000 steps altogether, including carrying my bags. Went from absolutely fearing physical collapse to strolling on the beach at sunset. So hopefully can relax now the stress of travelling and body glitches out of the way!

Nice! : )

 

[Lostman85]

Thanks for the support you've given and kind words. I hope you find a peaceful spot and arespite from the emotions and stress.There's always support here.

Thanks seabird

 

[LumberJack]

Kind of grumpy and sad. I have been peeking at headlines again. I keep forgetting that really no amount of news consumption is safe for me. It’s zero to doomscrolling for hours in a few headlines. I’m brainstorming ways to participate in civic life that are more healthy. At the end of the day, I am not reading the news to be informed. I’m doomscrolling so that my own problems are less intense by comparison. The fact that doing so just makes it all more painful is something I am aware of, but only in hindsight.

 

[total eclipse]

Like dissappearing

 

[AmberMarie]

Too damned tired of fighting!

 

[LumberJack]

Sad, hurt, and lonely. I don’t remember the last time I got a hug (in person) that was more than perfunctory, as in when I say goodbye to relatives. Missing this, I feel like nothing else is worthwhile, as I am only taking care of a body that carries around bottomless pain.

The idea of recovering to a life where I flawlessly do all the self-help happy horseshit, but have no relationships beyond the superficial, seems like a lot of work to just be miserable anyway.

 

[Windhover]

The idea of recovering to a life where I flawlessly do all the self-help happy horseshit, but have no relationships beyond the superficial, seems like a lot of work to just be miserable anyway.

"Just to be miserable anyway" describes the results of so much shallow garbaage I'm supposedly consuming for my own good. Just to be miserable behind the smiling social mask we put effort into mainaining. For whom? While I know I feel better after a run, I feel worse after going to social events which dangle the hope of what, community, friendship, connection? It never happens; at least it's how my thoughts run when I'm lonely. Lately I've been wondering if I've become addicted to netative thoughts coupleed with being far too easy on myself. I need to laugh.

 

[may71]

Sending hugs to anyone who would like hugs

 

[Inanimate]

Fine. Extremely fine. Categorically, unequivocally fine.

 

[cymbele]

The cat is still alive. Going on a week and a half without a bowel movement causing her to vomit (with blood). She has started eating again due to the appetite stimulant I have been giving her. The doctors gave up on Friday and not only I can't afford her care I am already broke with what I just paid. She still drinks water and wants to use her her litter box but can't. I feel bad that I am ending her life but I don't want to see her suffer. No one is helping giving me direction - it's all on me. Monday is the day I have to decide until then I give her lots of medicine to make her comfortable through these days

 

[AvidFan]

Disappointed. My WhatsApp went dark (ie I haven't been online) since Thursday, which is wildly unusual for me. I was led to believe a family member checked daily to use recent/ongoing online status as proof of life as they worry about things happening. After another family member the other year went quiet online and turned out they were dead in bed. So I could have been dead for 3 days and nobody has noticed. For all I know I could die and it could be months before anyone in my family noticed. Oh well, they can deal with the mess and guilt if that happens (though not sure they are capable of guilt). This is after the group gaslighting at easter. Am tempted to rewrite my will and leave everything to the cat charities. Unfortunately leaving it to my family as both executors /beneficiary is the only hope in hell they'd half way decently manage my affairs. But there are a few death benefits I named my sister on. I'm going to change this asap. Doesn't deserve a single penny of my meagre stash of hard earned money.