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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
That's an issue I have too @Witty_Sarcasm. I notice how automatically the walls will surround me when I sense someone wanting too much.
Tired, sad and anxious today. I really needed to sleep last night but didn't get much. I've got back to back meetings at office later today and would rather curl up and be left alone for a week. I have some quieter time (because I've lost half of one job) this week so will just have to try to get through today, as my only goal.
My outside opinion is that a door lock is an important privacy boundary. For your mom to say you don’t need a lock because she doesn’t lock her door has 2 concerns. First, there is the difference between not locking a door that has a lock, vs a broken lock. Second, her decisions about her personal boundaries cannot be universalized. This is a personal matter, so it’s a non-sequitur for her to extend her position as a template for what your boundaries are allowed to be.
I also think it’s not unrealistic for you to expect your brother, or anyone else, to replace/fix property that they have damaged. That’s basic human decency, IMHO.
Those crisis teams have every incentive to err on the side of taking someone in. They have an obvious decision that is lopsided. If they take you in, but didn’t need to, they face zero consequences. By contrast, if they do not take you in and end up wrong about that, they will face no end of trouble in the form of professional consequences and civil liability.
If I were in their shoes, it would be a rubber stamp decision to me. The wrinkle here is that I would never be in their shoes because I am convinced that patients’ welfare is absent from their list of priorities. As someone who has experienced “the system” as a patient, there is no way I could participate in that and still be able to look at my own face in the mirror. Sorry about the wall of text, but maybe something in there is useful.
I also think it’s not unrealistic for you to expect your brother, or anyone else, to replace/fix property that they have damaged. That’s basic human decency, IMHO.
Those crisis teams have every incentive to err on the side of taking someone in. They have an obvious decision that is lopsided. If they take you in, but didn’t need to, they face zero consequences. By contrast, if they do not take you in and end up wrong about that, they will face no end of trouble in the form of professional consequences and civil liability.
If I were in their shoes, it would be a rubber stamp decision to me. The wrinkle here is that I would never be in their shoes because I am convinced that patients’ welfare is absent from their list of priorities. As someone who has experienced “the system” as a patient, there is no way I could participate in that and still be able to look at my own face in the mirror. Sorry about the wall of text, but maybe something in there is useful.
I will never call a crisis line again, nor will I be forthcoming about any suicidal thoughts with anyone who has the authority to put me on a 72 hour hold. It’s not worth it. I wish I had never considered it before, but I seem to have to learn everything important the hard way. I can say unequivocally that the “treatment” they provide is punishment, not care.
I feel angry, remorseful, and bitter. I know that life isn’t fair and I understand that human society necessarily gives rise to conflicts, and the probability that everyone will decide to handle conflict healthily is negligible. I also feel like I have been dealt a better than average hand in the circumstances that I was born into. I got a crap socioeconomic tier, but otherwise I made out fairly well.
What I have trouble accepting in this moment is that there are people who behave as if they enjoy heaping even more misfortune on those who are already struggling. Some of them are in very powerful positions, and I’m not just talking about the ones in the daily headlines.
I can’t manage the headlines right now, if ever, though. I have enough trouble just trying to manage my own acts. That is what I need to focus on. There’s a concept in CBT that is described as the “hula hoop rule,” namely that anyone’s sphere of influence is about as wide as a hula hoop around their waist. I’m going to gently retrain myself to return to my own hula hoop when I’m distressing myself over things that I have no influence over.
Maybe- I know my pattern is to have a grand strategy only to abandon it when life happens. I’m also convinced that this is widespread among people. I think it was Mike Tyson who said something like, “everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.” I think that the most profound wisdom has a way of showing up where the academically trained (including, moi) will least expect it to.
What I have trouble accepting in this moment is that there are people who behave as if they enjoy heaping even more misfortune on those who are already struggling. Some of them are in very powerful positions, and I’m not just talking about the ones in the daily headlines.
I can’t manage the headlines right now, if ever, though. I have enough trouble just trying to manage my own acts. That is what I need to focus on. There’s a concept in CBT that is described as the “hula hoop rule,” namely that anyone’s sphere of influence is about as wide as a hula hoop around their waist. I’m going to gently retrain myself to return to my own hula hoop when I’m distressing myself over things that I have no influence over.
Maybe- I know my pattern is to have a grand strategy only to abandon it when life happens. I’m also convinced that this is widespread among people. I think it was Mike Tyson who said something like, “everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.” I think that the most profound wisdom has a way of showing up where the academically trained (including, moi) will least expect it to.
Just because I was reluctant to take medicines..I was admitted in a psych ward and they gave me 9 ect sessions without even asking me..and I already had PTSD from the moment I realised that(in the past) my parents have been giving me anti psychotics secretly mixed in the food.... then I had psychosis..
Me: I don't care what you both think anymore.
Mom: You're angry and ungrateful.
Me: As far as you go, yes. Yes, I am angry and ungrateful.
Mom: I hope this stays on your conscience.
Me: And I hope what you've done to me doesn't stay on yours when the time comes.
I implied repentance and having to face God one day with my last statement, but I don't think she understood my meaning because she said not to wish negative things on people because it'll come back to me. Good. Let it come back to me. I repent every day and I'll be more than happy to face The Lord, my God.
Mom: You're angry and ungrateful.
Me: As far as you go, yes. Yes, I am angry and ungrateful.
Mom: I hope this stays on your conscience.
Me: And I hope what you've done to me doesn't stay on yours when the time comes.
I implied repentance and having to face God one day with my last statement, but I don't think she understood my meaning because she said not to wish negative things on people because it'll come back to me. Good. Let it come back to me. I repent every day and I'll be more than happy to face The Lord, my God.