How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[Windhover]

Started off in a bad direction by viewing and organizing my hundreds of pics of travels. This went straight to hell in a handbasket emotionally so I stopped. I'll do that task another day. I'm avoiding thinking by doing and focusing on selfish things only the rest of the day today. A look at my plants, a workout, shower, a good meal, books and movies.

 

[LumberJack]

You see she is a young woman and deserves to do what she loves. She loves makeup and doing her hair. And it’s VERY VERY hard to be respectful toward that religion for me at this point.

I’m very sorry for all the pain being inflicted by religious oppression.

 

[LumberJack]

Started off in a bad direction by viewing and organizing my hundreds of pics of travels. This went straight to hell in a handbasket emotionally so I stopped. I'll do that task another day. I'm avoiding thinking by doing and focusing on selfish things only the rest of the day today. A look at my plants, a workout, shower, a good meal, books and movies.

I understand. It’s been over 9 years and I haven’t put the few photos I have of my partner in one place. Some gentle rewards might be just what you need.

I think that’s such a good idea that I will do the same for myself, provided I finish the dishes and the bathroom. Thanks.

 

[AvidFan]

Confused and sad. My body is either getting worse or adapting and confusing itself. Or I'm just chronically degrading. In the space of a month I've lost my mobility and health and a large chunk of income. I was struggling before that and trying to build things into my life to help. Those things are gone.

I did write a bit of a note here, but I don't want to upset anyone. I suppose I wrote it and deleted it, which at least got some of the process done.

 

[Lostman85]

Feel like im dieing

 

[Lane]

My grandson will be 2 June 1st a d i still haven't met him. I think my daughter's being cruel but I guess she has her reasons. In her eyes I guess im not deserving, maybe was a bad mom I her eyes. Maybe some brainwashing was going on. No one's perfect. I feel angry and sad at the same time.

 

[JanisSPK]

My grandson will be 2 June 1st a d i still haven't met him. I think my daughter's being cruel but I guess she has her reasons. In her eyes I guess im not deserving, maybe was a bad mom I her eyes. Maybe some brainwashing was going on. No one's perfect. I feel angry and sad at the same time.

I’m sorry to hear this is happening. I can’t imagine …

 

[Lostman85]

My grandson will be 2 June 1st a d i still haven't met him. I think my daughter's being cruel but I guess she has her reasons. In her eyes I guess im not deserving, maybe was a bad mom I her eyes. Maybe some brainwashing was going on. No one's perfect. I feel angry and sad at the same time.

You weren't a bad mom. It just feels that way. You care bout your kids and grandchild I can see that. She will come around and you will see your grandchild. Maybe give her a call and talk with her. Nomatter the reason its still your child nomatter there age and I know you care bout her. Stay in there lane I understand how much it hurts but your get through this.

 

[Lane]

Feel like im dieing

Sorry that you're feeling so low @Lostman85. Please try not to give up. We care about you here.

 

[Lane]

You weren't a bad mom. It just feels that way. You care bout your kids and grandchild I can see that. She will come around and you will see your grandchild. Maybe give her a call and talk with her. Nomatter the reason its still your child nomatter there age and I know you care bout her. Stay in there lane I understand how much it hurts but your get through this.

Thank you @Lostman85. I usually have my shit together, but long weekends make me think more. You hang in there too. It's got to get better.

 

[Suyon]

today grief grew two more roots inside me, and now breathing feels like pushing through thorns.

 

[Windhover]

today grief grew two more roots inside me, and now breathing feels like pushing through thorns.

 

[1964dodge]

God, the pain is so bad right now. Will have a test tomorrow. Called gastro and was told no openings until July. I pushed and pushed. Will see a doctor on Thursday. I really want to take some oxycodone, but that could make things worse. I don't know how @1964dodge does it.

i hope the pain is better barb

mike....

 

[may71]

today grief grew two more roots inside me, and now breathing feels like pushing through thorns.

That sounds awful, I'm sorry it's like that.

You're welcome to say more about this if you'd like to.

 

[chiastic_slide]

Just hopeless. Too exhausted.

 

[Lane]

Just hopeless. Too exhausted.

Thinking of you @chiastic_slide. I hope life turns around soon for you.

 

[Lane]

Feel like im tainted and that's why my daughter won't let me meet my grandson.

 

[AvidFan]

Feel like im tainted and that's why my daughter won't let me meet my grandson.

Sounds like it's more about them. I wish you could meet your grandson. ☹️

 

[Windhover]

Sorry that the situation makes you feels like that @Lane.

 

[LumberJack]

I’m feeling good this morning. I got to bed at a reasonable time last night and got 8 hours of sleep. I did sitting meditation first thing. It was hard, but now I’m glad I did it. It is getting hotter so I’m trying to shift my sleep schedule to get up earlier. I am out of milk so I need to go on a quick grocery run and who knows- I might even do some adulting today.