I honestly feel like I am being tortured. I honestly don't know how much more I can take. Not only has my health gone, I'm seriously isolated, have just lost a major source of income and have a stack of problems with the house, than I find another fucking problem. I found some water next to washing machine the other week, thought it had spurted out of the detergent drawer. But when I checked it was still appearing. And the ground was crumbling and the tiles were seeping water. I had 20 minutes of a panic attack thinking water was coming up through the ground until I eventually found it was the hose leaking behind the washing machine. I've managed to turn off the water intake pipe now - I think. And have a dehumidifier going (and carrying it has likely fucked my groin muscles again). Last week it was the laptop that just died - took it to the shop optimistically, the guy hasn't bothered calling me. So now I have no clean clothes and have to find a way to pay for a new washing machine. As well as pay someone to install it properly for me. Already have to pay someone to do the garden because of my health. I am bleeding money from so many wounds while the blood supply itself has dried up. I don't know what to do sometimes. I thought it was it. I certainly thought seriously about my method in that moment, fortunately it wasn't a volcano of water coming up through the floor. But seriously, I am trying desperately to avoid stress because it makes my pelvic floor scream even more, and shit like this just keeps happening. One thing after another after another. All this because I thought maybe I'll put a wash on before I go out on my walk and look for my little cat friends.... That idea was ruined in a hurry.
