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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
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Yes, I got some medication from the manufacturer for a time when I was unemployed and had no $$. It was free to indigent and uninsured patients. My doctor filed the appropriate forms and I got the medication. Then I got a job and told them thanks but I had med insurance then. Fast forward to couple of years when I got unemployed again, I contacted them to reinstate their program for me and i was told that since I had closed my application there was no other help for me. Just fair warning.
I wish I had something that would shut off my mind that didn't have side effects. For around 10 years I used benzos on and off. Got on them, got off them, never had heavy or regular use. Am over a year now without a single benzo, and think either my nervous system is permanently screwed by coming off them, or was always screwed and they were just cushioning. But now I can't really take anything without massive rebounds. I hope to get some sleep tonight because my mind has far too many open loops. My mind is my worst enemy - it makes me a living due to its pattern recognition, memory, imagination and other features - but these features are recruited heavily by my anxiety to a) simulate the worst possible futures in painful detail and b) track every single threat possible, from how the economy might be in 3-5 years to dust or water appearing where it shouldn't. I really wish I had something to switch my mind off. Or convince it to track gratitude instead but it just says Meh! to that kind of thing 🤷
Sorry that youre feeling so low. Ive felt like there was no place on earth for me, that I didn't fit in anywhere. I hope that life gets easier for you @cardenasii. 
This may vary by state/country, but I have had doctors send in refill requests without requiring an additional visit - as long as the med is not controlled (e.g., adhd or anti-anxiety meds).
As for paying for the meds themselves:
As for paying for the meds themselves:
- I have used GoodRx (it's a website if you throw .com at the end and there's a mobile app), which is often significantly discounted from retail prices.
- Sometimes a local pharmacy (e.g., in a grocery store; IDK about CVS or Walgreens) will have their own version of GoodRx for people without insurance. I have used this and the pharmacist was very helpful in explaining my options. Doing the comparison I got the whole fill through them for under what it would have been per pill over insurance.
- There's also the Mark Cuban pharmacy https://www.costplusdrugs.com/ -- I have not used but according to my face to face contacts, it is very competitive price-wise.
I have about 10 additional pounds in excess. I wish we could swap, lol. About feeling sickly, I have been feeling vaguely under the weather for about 1-2 weeks constantly. One day I woke up feeling kind of feverish, but thermometer said I had no fever. No other symptoms except for more congestion than usual, however this could just be seasonal allergies coming in at the same time. I don't have any respiratory symptoms - so maybe my diet of M&Ms and Cheeze-its is related... 
Do "clean" protein bars even exist? I used to be fond of Cliff bars, but then I found out how much sugar was in them - they are designed for endurance athletes, lol.
Do "clean" protein bars even exist? I used to be fond of Cliff bars, but then I found out how much sugar was in them - they are designed for endurance athletes, lol.
I know that feeling. For a long time I felt like I was born on the wrong planet; I didn't belong here, or maybe not even in this "universe" (what defines the edges of a universe, after all???). Other people with non-standard neurology have said similar things about feeling like an alien.
I feel it less so now. I was in therapy for a while before we got to dissociation. This, as I found out, is a symptom of PTSD. Not saying that's your situation but if depersonalization/derealization is a thing for you, it might be worth exploring with a competent provider. I have gotten better by doing the work of coming to terms with my PTSD. I still recognize it, though.
I feel it less so now. I was in therapy for a while before we got to dissociation. This, as I found out, is a symptom of PTSD. Not saying that's your situation but if depersonalization/derealization is a thing for you, it might be worth exploring with a competent provider. I have gotten better by doing the work of coming to terms with my PTSD. I still recognize it, though.
Emotional "blunting"? I get that when my depression is so bad that I'm emotionally numb. You can't stay in freeze over a certain limit before you go numb, anyway. However I also feel a lot of shame when this happens, as in apologizing to someone for being in their way if they bump into me, level of shame. Regardless, it feels like it would be so much better to just feel anything at all. But then the anxiety hits and I wish I was numb again. Life, don't talk to me about life....