How do you tell friends you don't want to make plans atm?

[Beka]

Basically what the title says, most of my friends understand I have periods of time where I really am too exhausted to make plans but one friend does not. He is unaware of my mental health and I don't really want him to know but lately he's been asking every other day if I'm busy or if I want to do something. Interest is there and reciprocated however I'm too mentally exhausted.
I need to be by myself but I don't know how to tell him this without pushing him away?

 

[Walker]

Blowing off plans often will drive them away. Eventually they quit asking. Why not tell him you're not feeling great & you'll get with him when you are again?

 

[Beka]

Blowing off plans often will drive them away. Eventually they quit asking. Why not tell him you're not feeling great & you'll get with him when you are again?

True though I don't really know when I'll get out of this slump or should I just force myself to go out?

 

[Walker]

Im my experience the longer you stay in the house the harder it is to leave...

 

[may71]

He is unaware of my mental health and I don't really want him to know but lately he's been asking every other day if I'm busy or if I want to do something

Telling him that you really would like to do something with him, but that you've been feeling tired lately might be one way to handle it.

You might encourage him to invite you to do things, but via email, since the answer is probably going to be no, at least for a while.

Maybe there's something that you'd like to do that's not too demanding, and that you could leave easily if you decided it was too much.

 

[Innocent Forever]

You could tell him you don't have energy at the moment and would love to go out when you do.
Or you could tell him about your struggles (which may backfire and may not)
Or go out. What is the best and worst case scenario in each case, and what do you rather?

 

[gypsylee]

True though I don't really know when I'll get out of this slump or should I just force myself to go out?

“Sorry, I’d love to go out with you but I’m not feeling well and I’m not sure how long it’ll go on for. I don’t want to make commitments in case I have to cancel and I hate letting people down. So when I feel better I’ll be in touch.”

You’d be surprised how understanding people can be though.. He must be pretty keen to be asking you to go out every other day.

 

[Acy]

I think it might depend on how crummy you're feeling, too. Sometimes, I get in a slump and don't want to do things - but if DO go out, I have usually have a better time than I think I will. Sometimes we need a nudge.

On the other hand, if we are not up to facing other people, it can be a strain on our psyche to force ourselves out.

I like the approach of saying something like "I'd love to. I so sad, I can't go this time. Let's make other plans a little later?" No blame, no deep reasons...an indication that you want to be with the person later.

 

[Beka]

Thanks guys for the replies! Your advice really helped me out.

You could tell him you don't have energy at the moment and would love to go out when you do.
Or you could tell him about your struggles (which may backfire and may not)
Or go out. What is the best and worst case scenario in each case, and what do you rather?

I've told him this weather is draining me and I don't have the energy at the moment and he understands, best case is that I enjoy myself which right now I know I wouldn't and the worst case is that I completely backpedal and ignore him for weeks.

I think it might depend on how crummy you're feeling, too. Sometimes, I get in a slump and don't want to do things - but if DO go out, I have usually have a better time than I think I will. Sometimes we need a nudge.

On the other hand, if we are not up to facing other people, it can be a strain on our psyche to force ourselves out.

I like the approach of saying something like "I'd love to. I so sad, I can't go this time. Let's make other plans a little later?" No blame, no deep reasons...an indication that you want to be with the person later.

I'm usually pretty good at giving myself a nudge if needed but right now the thought of meeting up and making plans halfway through a day makes me want to cry. I'll be better next week because I have it off work and I'm meant to be seeing him then anyway.
He is pretty understanding because a couple of times I've just said I'm too tired with the weather being as hot as it is and he gets it. Just a shame he's decided this week is the week he wants to see me haha.
Thank you everyone