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How many attempts have you had?
- Thread starter ofvanityandwax
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One. Quite serious, just about worked--Uncommon highly lethal method. Unfortunately, after doing considerable research, i would not fail the second time...it would not be an attempt. It's rather interesting, that to do the job properly, one really needs to do a little research. Its not as easy as i would have thought it to be.
I thought it was 2 but after speaking with a friend last night (was it last night?), it would seem it was actually 3. Mind you, I had a death wish something awful up until my daughter was born so I was very reckless with my life. Ok I hate to admit this but even after she as born, for a time I was reckless :cry:. Now I just get recurring thoughts about it sometimes bi-weekly or less frequent. I don't even know anymore. My brain is like swiss cheese atm.
2 genuine attempts, one was a suprising failure.
A bunch of other times where I couldn't follow through, or it was a strange failed attempt.
Haven't tried in years, but been thinking about it (more like consumed with it) lately.
Is it really this hard to succeed though?
I mean I see all these people with these unfathomable amount of attempts and it just seems like it can't be true.
I'm not trying to offend anyone here, but I thought I was just extremely "lucky" to have survived my 2nd true attempt, I was told by the E.R. half of what I took should have literally killed a horse, that they were completely stunned I was still alive, or at least didn't have any major permanent brain damage.
I did sustain permanent hearing loss though.
I don't know if I'm supposed to mention this, but I took 70 something full strength benzo's with about half a fifth of vodka and some beers.
Woke up about 30 hours later completely lost and foggy.
Someone found the note and I texted someone else right beforehand and they called the cops the next day because their phone was dead, and that's how they found me and stuck me in a mental hospital for 2 weeks.
So yeah, that's that. Weird to write this. Sorry.
A bunch of other times where I couldn't follow through, or it was a strange failed attempt.
Haven't tried in years, but been thinking about it (more like consumed with it) lately.
Is it really this hard to succeed though?
I mean I see all these people with these unfathomable amount of attempts and it just seems like it can't be true.
I'm not trying to offend anyone here, but I thought I was just extremely "lucky" to have survived my 2nd true attempt, I was told by the E.R. half of what I took should have literally killed a horse, that they were completely stunned I was still alive, or at least didn't have any major permanent brain damage.
I did sustain permanent hearing loss though.
I don't know if I'm supposed to mention this, but I took 70 something full strength benzo's with about half a fifth of vodka and some beers.
Woke up about 30 hours later completely lost and foggy.
Someone found the note and I texted someone else right beforehand and they called the cops the next day because their phone was dead, and that's how they found me and stuck me in a mental hospital for 2 weeks.
So yeah, that's that. Weird to write this. Sorry.
I've had three.. The one when I was thirteen almost worked but my friends saw me floating and pulled me out of the water..The other two wereOD's...One of them landed me in the hospital and they were talking about amputating my feet because they swelled up big time..I wasn't getting any blood flow through them.. That ended my attempts by OD..
Once. I faced a train but i failed because i was drunk and the train was coming slower than i thought. Later i discussed it with my terapist and she told me that it were not a true attempt as i wanted just to feel like it was the end. I agree, i would jump off the tracks anyway. I´m not so bad to suicide yet, i mean, i have a lot life in me thought, i´m still kicking and i don´t see a point in suicide. Sure was a time in my life i felt like i was living a torturous dream but again, in discussion, i´m pretty sure it´s some kind of cerebral function to "overpast" the suicidal thoughts.
Sorry for my english.
Sorry for my english.
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