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How many attempts have you had?
- Thread starter ofvanityandwax
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I think most people that overdose think it will work. Usually they're doing it with some drug that's not going to kill them though - or at least can't kill you fast enough to avoid help finding you. Anything over the counter can't do it, but most people that are so desperate as to attempt (and not pharmacology students) that they'll try what they can get their hands on.
One of my attempts actually involved some stolen prescription drug that most certainly could kill you and I almost did. I'm still here today because I incorrectly judged how long it'd take to absorb enough of it to kill me before telling the nurse I was dying and needed to apologize to my mum on the phone. (I was in-hospital at the time.) It was a close call but I was in the ER soon enough that their medication to prevent me absorbing more of the drug sitting in my stomach saved me.
Another earlier, much more naive attempt, was with one of my mental health medications. It gave me a seizure and put me in a sort of groggy, half mindless place for the next day. Woke up in hospital the next night, the doctor assumed it was just a negative side effect of proper use of the medication and took me off it. I was told, but have only the faintest recollection, I'd been up a lot of the day unresponsive to people talking to me, trying to get up an leave. I even pulled out my IV at one point. The faint recollection I do have is blurry and I remember trying to leave to find out where I was, pulling something off my arm that was stopping me. Could have been that was when I wrestled off the IV. Could be a false memory. I don't know.
One of my attempts actually involved some stolen prescription drug that most certainly could kill you and I almost did. I'm still here today because I incorrectly judged how long it'd take to absorb enough of it to kill me before telling the nurse I was dying and needed to apologize to my mum on the phone. (I was in-hospital at the time.) It was a close call but I was in the ER soon enough that their medication to prevent me absorbing more of the drug sitting in my stomach saved me.
Another earlier, much more naive attempt, was with one of my mental health medications. It gave me a seizure and put me in a sort of groggy, half mindless place for the next day. Woke up in hospital the next night, the doctor assumed it was just a negative side effect of proper use of the medication and took me off it. I was told, but have only the faintest recollection, I'd been up a lot of the day unresponsive to people talking to me, trying to get up an leave. I even pulled out my IV at one point. The faint recollection I do have is blurry and I remember trying to leave to find out where I was, pulling something off my arm that was stopping me. Could have been that was when I wrestled off the IV. Could be a false memory. I don't know.
zero so far.
when i was 18, i prepared 'everything' for the act but my mom stopped me before being able to do so.
i've been suicidal (am i still?) for a long time but have never acted on impulses. everything gotta be well planned.
but when i was ready, things turned out to be quite alright.
so... here i am. still alive.
when i was 18, i prepared 'everything' for the act but my mom stopped me before being able to do so.
i've been suicidal (am i still?) for a long time but have never acted on impulses. everything gotta be well planned.
but when i was ready, things turned out to be quite alright.
so... here i am. still alive.
Atleast 20 times, memory is a bit fuzzy. Last one was over a year ago, havent thought about it since, things do get better, but it takes a lot of willpower motivation, took almost 4 years of my life to turn it around, there was no God to help me, my own motivation was all I had, but I got better, I survived.I promised myself I would never go back to where I was in that Mental Hosptial and I intend keep that promise.
5 half-arsed attempts. 1 'serious'. 2 of the half-arsed attempts were this past week, 1 of which was last night. Right now I just feel, empty, numb, and stupid because I couldn't do it properly. Still wanna do it, but I no longer seem to have it in me. Couldn't cut deep enough, couldn't swallow enough pills without gagging and spitting them out. Think my last OD (which was my only 'serious' attempt) screwed me up psychologically in regards to pills, because I've had a phobia of them ever since.
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