Humans Don't Know How To Love

chipper

Well-Known Member
#81
Ok lets have a look at one of your quotes.

"That is non debatable and anyone who will say otherwise is absolutely stupid"

A tad presumtious maybe?
A tad rude too.

I take umbridge to your sweeping statement, for me, i love to make the other person feel loved and possibly important, it works both ways you see.
I merely expanded a thread, which naturally progressed.
You have not lived my 42 years, yet you choose to tell me how i love and am loved.
We can all learn from eachother without rudeness, please try to remember that.
rude... maybe.
presumptuous... no.

i stated my opinion. if you disagree, you are free to express it. i never told anyone how you are loved and supposed to love. telling me to stop talking defeats the entire purpose of a forum.

and age has nothing to do with knowing or not knowing how to love. please try to remember that.
 

peacelovingguy

Well-Known Member
#82
It is a train of thought that depression throws up from time to time.

You can grow despondent from your own personal romantic life - if your just having casual sex then in the end - it loses its capability to fend off the darkness we have.

So you might get more inventive - take more drugs - I've even though of maybe popping some LSD to liven it up.

But as for love - that's different. And there are many kinds of love - romantic love being the one that needs the least effort. Most romantic love is not unconditional. It is VERY conditional. People need certain needs from others - and for a man, with a women - each of us has different needs though obviously some are universal.

As for children - this is closer to unconditional love than romantic love. ANY man with a woman is going to see that. Conditions have to be set by the women from the get go. Girls decide WHO is 'the man' - but obviously its up to the man to win her heart and we have to kind of set some conditions also. We have to be clean, tidy, freshly shaven and in a bloody good mood! I mean - maybe a chat up line about wanting to die will work also. See how it goes - maybe coffee later, and we will bear our darkened shrivelled hearts.

Most love has conditions - but there is one sort that has none - asks nothing of anyone and would die for you - yes you!

Caring about people you love - does not actually impress me. Even dying for your children - that's normal - and for me it shows a greater love than some guy carrying bunch of flowers with a head-full of dreams and a heart full of darkness! you'd die for those for you love - but some think this is 'noble' and makes them different. Lol. I'd die at the drop of a hat for any child - if I could trade - I would, but I cannot so I donate blood, which will save a life and get someone high. Oh Dear - well, sometimes it would.

Giving a damn for people you do not know is a special kind of love.

After all - how many here had nobody to talk to in their hours of darkness - that dark night of the soul that leads to overdoses and cutting, heartache and the loss of everything sacred.

I can SEE the gift that life is. I think that maybe once you see that - even if its just a epiphany moment - you realise that love goes deeper than we imagined. Its not about getting laid - its not romance, its not your children or loved ones. All of that is nice - in fact, it can be fantastic - but its not a sacrifice is it? lol.

So, for me, human beings can love - in ways that raise us up from the bestial primitive life forms around us.

I think life is a kind of spiritual battleground - so I go out of my way for others - even strangers. Strangers become friends. Even online you can build up a kind of relationship. Words mean a lot. Never ever underestimate the power of a few kind words to a stranger.

You got to put yourself out for others. Sometimes you have to make the deal to help someone - but not expect help in return. Depends on how strong you feel - but maybe sending a random PM to some stranger with few friends is a move towards the selfless love - that unconditional love some think does not exist.

Hope this makes sense in parts.
 

chipper

Well-Known Member
#83
that's my point.

why do we qualify love? there is only one kind.

relationships have qualifications but love is only one kind. no conditions, no end. cut off my ears, take all my money, abuse me, torture me and i love you anyway.

the minute it has conditions, that's not love.
 

albion

Account Closed
#84
To each his own I guess. I just don't agree with using general blanket statements for things like this. True romantic love doesn't exist PERIOD? There are about 7 billion people on this planet right now. There are millions that have lived before in the 10's of thousands of years of human history not to mention a future ahead of us. How can you say with perfect confidence that true romantic love has never and will never exist? On such a universal, critical subject the highest burden of proof applies (99.9%+) and I just don't think anyone can satisfy that (for me anyways). Call me an idealist if you must, but I'd like to think there's been or will be a few cases even if it is very improbable. From my own experience, just sitting there and thinking negatively about things like these never really helps achieve anything anyways. Just my opinion. Others are entitled to agree/disagree as they please.:smile:
 
#85
I've stayed away from this thread so far, however I have thought about its concept a lot. Unconditional love exists, whether it be platonic love, romantic love, family love.. it exists. I challenge anyone to provide me with 100% proof that it does not exist, and until that happens I will maintain my belief that it is possible.

My mother hurt me, abused me, let others abuse me, lied to me, stole from me, literally tried to kill me, hates me with all her soul.. and yet I love her. No matter what she has put me through, no matter what she will put me through in the future, I will love her, because I don't know how not to. That is unconditional family love.

My partner hurt me, in ways not even fathomable to him, in ways that at times he did not mean, he hurt me in ways I did not believe possible, and at times, yes, continues to do so. But I love him just as much as I did the first time I realized my feelings for him. I would die for him, and because I know how much it would hurt him, I am resisting suicide for him, no matter how much pain I am in every minute of every day. I know that he could do anything to me, good or bad, and I will still love him. That is unconditional romantic love.


Yes, I have tried to think of as many possibilities of my love being tested as I can. I have family members, friends, a lot of people I know who have done horrific things, not just to me, and yet I can not simply turn off my feelings, because it is not possible. I would possibly be judged for loving some people despite what they have done, but that still would not change the way I feel. While thinking about this thread.. and I've thought about it for a few months, I have wavered on the possibility of my love ending for those very few people, however, I know within my heart that that won't happen. I've tried to be objective, look at it from all angles, and no matter what scenarios I come up with in my head, I still do not see my love faltering for those who matter most to me.


Although I do not feel myself to be loved unconditionally, I know that there are a few people that I love unconditionally, and therefore I disagree with the thought that love is only conditional.
 

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