Hello everyone. Unfortunately, during the past year (and especially the last few months, my parents (especially my mom) have been making homophobic and transphobic comments. Some of them even border (and some don’t even border) on being racist. I’m feeling so much hurt and dread and pain in this place to the point of where I don’t even want to go downstairs to eat, just so I don’t have to interact with them. I thought that they were ignorant before, but just...I didn’t know that they were so...I don’t even know what word to use in this situation, to be honest. It’s been eating away at me, and I’ve been trying t avoid them as much as possible. It’s not like most of the time they are saying something hateful about a group of people, but because it increased tenfold than it used to makes me sick. I had a breakdown to my best friend today because I can barely handle it. I was also forced to tell my mom that I’m depressed, and she immediately started to blame me for being depressed and saying things like “what?! There’s no reason for you to be depressed!!1!1! It’s not like you have trauma!1!1” (which she wouldn’t even know if I did or not since I literally never tell my parents anything ever). This makes me want to run away. I’m trying to have as little contact with them as possible to the point of me skipping times when I’m hungry just to that I won’t have to encounter them again. I pretend that I’m just tired from school, but in reality, I’m just tired because of their attitudes towards others. It makes me scared, mad, and wears me out. They also both have anger issues which makes them start swearing and yelling with any minor inconvenience, and if I’m around, they start yelling at ME. Even though I literally do nothing wrong... I’m not even allowed to sigh because I’m their child, and that “clearly” means that I have to take all of this toxicity and not complain about it with a smile on my face (they didn’t say it like that since they don’t view themselves as toxic, but my father did say that I shouldn’t sigh when he’s literally swearing me out and yelling at me becasue he forced me to help him with his work (like fixing appliances and such), because I’m his child.)
I’m scared of what will happen to me. I’m not straight, nor am I Christian. My mother is pretty Christian and uses the religion to “justify” her homophobia no transphobia and she always compares the LGBT+ community to...well, to people who are genuinely horrible, alleys just say. It makes me want to run away so badly, I feel like I can’t even take it anymore.
Sorry, I just don’t really know what to do in this case. Some other context of my situation is: my parents want me to stay and live with them until I graduate college and get a full time job. That means at least 4 years of this nightmare, and I’d rather not do that.
So, my plan is to get a job and save up money, and then move out into an apartment against my parents wishes. Some of my concerns are, though, that I’m not sure when I could move out if I take up a part time job, I can’t drive, and if I’ll be able to afford to live by myself with only a part time job to uphold it all. My best friend said that maybe I’ll be able to live with her in the future, but she’s not sure. Do you have any advice what I can do in this situation, or maybe if my plan sounds good or not?
I’m just terrified and I feel trapped. It’s like a nightmare. I know hat others have it worse than me, but I still can’t help but feel so much fear and anger and dread....
Any and all advice is appreciated. I don’t mind compassion, either, because I’m in a a pretty bad place right now. Sorry for the long post.
I’m scared of what will happen to me. I’m not straight, nor am I Christian. My mother is pretty Christian and uses the religion to “justify” her homophobia no transphobia and she always compares the LGBT+ community to...well, to people who are genuinely horrible, alleys just say. It makes me want to run away so badly, I feel like I can’t even take it anymore.
Sorry, I just don’t really know what to do in this case. Some other context of my situation is: my parents want me to stay and live with them until I graduate college and get a full time job. That means at least 4 years of this nightmare, and I’d rather not do that.
So, my plan is to get a job and save up money, and then move out into an apartment against my parents wishes. Some of my concerns are, though, that I’m not sure when I could move out if I take up a part time job, I can’t drive, and if I’ll be able to afford to live by myself with only a part time job to uphold it all. My best friend said that maybe I’ll be able to live with her in the future, but she’s not sure. Do you have any advice what I can do in this situation, or maybe if my plan sounds good or not?
I’m just terrified and I feel trapped. It’s like a nightmare. I know hat others have it worse than me, but I still can’t help but feel so much fear and anger and dread....
Any and all advice is appreciated. I don’t mind compassion, either, because I’m in a a pretty bad place right now. Sorry for the long post.