• Apologies for the issue with a bizarre redirect on the site earlier today. There was a large server update and an error in an IP address had the traffic routing wrongly. No hacking or anything nefarious and nothing to worry about. Sorry for any stress/anxiety caused. Very best wishes - SF Admin

I’ve never had this happen before

CBunny9

Well-Known Member
#1
So I’m sort of seeing this guy I really really like who was my ASL teacher for six weeks. We got to be good friends. He’s in Bangladesh rn with his family until Jan 22nd and we talk every day and he makes me feel so beautiful and appreciated and important and special. It’s really different and so nice.

Flashback to maybe three years ago, I was seeing this guy for a year on and off. One night I went to his place for a party and was planning on staying over because i always stayed over with him when I was there.

He ignored me the whole night and at the end of the evening I was getting ready for bed and he threw me a blanket for the couch and said goodnight and went upstairs with another girl right in front of me.

We hadn’t spoken since then, but in October he sent me an email with a hand written apology letter attached and we’ve been communicating ever since then. He says he’s changed and is more self aware and I’m still stupidly attracted to him even though I don’t trust him at all. He says he’s still attracted to me too.

I’m frustrated because I always felt, and still feel, a really strong connection to him, but on the other hand I don’t trust him and I want to keep hating him.

I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve had to choose between two guys.

Right now I’m leaning toward my ASL teacher. He’s deaf and our communication in person is hard sometimes but he helps me a lot and we text every day about everything. He’s so kind and considerate and really seems like he wants to be with me.

The other guy still seems aloof and like he thinks he’s further along on his path to self improvement than he actually is and that scares me. He was an alcoholic and still drinks but insists he has it under control. I don’t like that he’s so stubborn about changing a lifestyle that he knows has caused him so many problems. But I like him a lot too. Which is so dumb, I know. But I don’t know how to explain the connection I feel/have with him.

I’m just very torn and confused right now.

Tell me I’m an idiot lol
 

Acy

Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense
Admin
#7
@CBunny9 - A guy who is good to you is the type of person to have in your life. Sounds like you have reached that conclusion yourself. :) I’m glad!!
 

Freyja

Not staff. Freyja with a j.
SF Supporter
#9
I agree. As much as I'd love to think otherwise, in my experience adults don't change that drastically. Also, if a connection is hard to explain, if something feels off, then it usually means that something is indeed wrong, it can get unhealthy :)
The other sweet guy seems like he truly cares :)
 

CBunny9

Well-Known Member
#10
I agree. As much as I'd love to think otherwise, in my experience adults don't change that drastically. Also, if a connection is hard to explain, if something feels off, then it usually means that something is indeed wrong, it can get unhealthy :)
The other sweet guy seems like he truly cares :)
Today I asked him what his favorite season was and he said “If I’m with you every season is my favorite”. 😭😭😭 NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS SWEET TO ME
 

Aurelia

🔶🔸✴ 👑 ✴🔸🔶
#11
Today I asked him what his favorite season was and he said “If I’m with you every season is my favorite”. 😭😭😭 NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS SWEET TO ME
It's easy to fall for sweet talk, trust me, I know. But it takes more than that to be a good partner. Just keep that in mind. Don't let his words get to you if his actions start showing something different.
 

agwoodliffe

Well-Known Member
#12
I’d say choose neither. First guy is just a friend, second guy you are sexually compatible with but he has too many personal issues for it to be a sustainable relationship.
I’m sure there will come a day when he grows up and regrets losing you, but why should you punish yourself waiting for him to grow up and learn?

Oh and by the way, there are other guys out there you’ll be compatible with and are also matured.

So yeah: don’t give your heart to either of those guys. Neither will make you happy as a girlfriend.
 
Last edited:

CBunny9

Well-Known Member
#13
I’d say choose neither. First guy is just a friend, second guy you are sexually compatible with but he has too many personal issues for it to be a sustainable relationship.
I’m sure there will come a day when he grows up and regrets losing you, but why should you punish yourself waiting for him to grow up and learn?

Oh and by the way, there are other guys out there you’ll be compatible with and are also matured.

So yeah: don’t give your heart to either of those guys. Neither will make you happy as a girlfriend.
I’m actually dating the first guy now and he’s amazing. So sweet and generous and always makes me feel important and appreciated and beautiful. Just dating rn but I really like him. I’m terrified of relationships but I’m just trying to live in the moment and take it day to day
 

CBunny9

Well-Known Member
#15
It's easy to fall for sweet talk, trust me, I know.
I only ever had one piece of advice for my sister about guys and it was this; the guy who says all the right things is usually saying them to at least three other girls.
I disagree personally. Not to say that most guys aren’t like that. Because most guys are. But I found a pearl in a bed of oysters. His actions speak even louder than his words and he’s amazing.
 

Aurelia

🔶🔸✴ 👑 ✴🔸🔶
#16
I disagree personally. Not to say that most guys aren’t like that. Because most guys are. But I found a pearl in a bed of oysters. His actions speak even louder than his words and he’s amazing.
I'm glad to hear that, and I hope it continues. :)
 

Gonz

Knock Knock Knockin’ on 40’s Door
#17
I disagree personally. Not to say that most guys aren’t like that. Because most guys are. But I found a pearl in a bed of oysters. His actions speak even louder than his words and he’s amazing.
I am also glad to hear that. Makes me happy when these things work out.
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$205.00
Goal
$255.00
Top