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I am a pathetic human being and I can never recover. I am a lost cause, incel, stupid and sad piece of trash. Pls help I will listen this time.

WhiteRice

Active Member
#1
Ever since I was young I could never grasp the concept of learning from my mistakes. I am too stupid to learn from them even though I am 20. I am probably one of the most pathetic human beings you could ever know. I am a 20-year-old loser with Aspergers that lives with his parents. I dropped out of college because I can't do well in academics. I never had a job or made a living off of something once in my life. I would have to guess my IQ is at least in the 80s. I never had many friends growing up or was ever social. People probably thought I was going to be some sort of school shooter. I am 5'8 and weigh about 235 pounds. I have absolutely nothing in my entire life that I have achieved expect I graduate high school and graduated with a horrible 2.7 GPA. My mind is unlearnable. It does not have the ability to understand how to learn. For example, let's say I keep going down a single street where I get beaten and robbed compared to the other street where it is perfectly safe. It doesn't matter how many times I would get beaten and robbed because I will keep going down that one street because my mind doesn't learn from mistakes.


I am also an incel. At this point I don't see myself getting into a relationship because of the number of women that want someone who is their perfect 6ft or above, rich prince fucking charming. I know I will die alone but why can't I accept it? I know even if I make a ton of improvements in my life I would never have a shot of ever losing my virginity as well. The standards girls have are utterly fucking absurd to the point where a huge majority of guys do not have the physical and other attractive features that these standards are met towards.

It is fucking bullshit that I feel like I have no self-control to the point where I really feel like everything in my life was predetermined in this piece of the shit world I have to live in. I really want to change my loser ways but I can't because I have no choice but to accept reality and just watch life go by in this hellhole of a world. I serve no purpose but to slowly waste my parents' money and have them secretly view me as a disappointment. I can't wait till the day I die because I do not have the will power to kill myself. I do have multiple health problems like being prediabetic and a very high heart rate to the point I wouldn't be surprised if I got a heart attack at the age of 40. I have ADHD and bipolar which probably is the reason why I cant learn from my mistakes. Anyways pls help me. I don't know what I want to do anymore. I all do with my life is waste time on youtube and twitch until I sleep. Please send advice I really need it because I have reached a whole new low in my life.
 

SkyTree

Well-Known Member
#2
Listen to me. The fact that you are a living human being means you have worth. You have value. You have basic human dignity. Dont judge yourself by intelligence or other things society states you have to have to be worth something. Also anyone who can be so down on themself like you are has to be a very selfless person. And that has infinite value.
 

WhiteRice

Active Member
#3
Listen to me. The fact that you are a living human being means you have worth. You have value. You have basic human dignity. Dont judge yourself by intelligence or other things society states you have to have to be worth something. Also anyone who can be so down on themself like you are has to be a very selfless person. And that has infinite value.
My family says I am the most selfish person they know so I don't know if me being selfless is true or not. How do I have value? What is my purpose? I still don't know what to do to recover and make me a better person. I also asked for advice, because apparently I am so desperate to ask random strangers on the internet what to do to help my life..
 

SkyTree

Well-Known Member
#4
Again you are judging yourself based on what others say/think. You're value in being alive is the opportunity to do good. Even if its doing some small act of kindness or just feeling love in your heart for another, doing good has value. Not having the biggest house, best car, being the smartest, being the most physically attractive, or being the most popular. You are well acquainted with being vulnerable. Use that to help the countless others here and in the world. We have more in common with you than you think. We're all struggling. Lets pull each other through.
 

JDot

J to the Dizzle O to the Tizzle
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#5
It's understandable to feel down with everything you're going through. Just know you always have a place here.
 

WhiteRice

Active Member
#6
Again you are judging yourself based on what others say/think. You're value in being alive is the opportunity to do good. Even if its doing some small act of kindness or just feeling love in your heart for another, doing good has value. Not having the biggest house, best car, being the smartest, being the most physically attractive, or being the most popular. You are well acquainted with being vulnerable. Use that to help the countless others here and in the world. We have more in common with you than you think. We're all struggling. Lets pull each other through.

Ok, what should I do to make my life better? I can't just accept it because of my stubborn mind. What things should i do to make myself feel better?
 

TryAgian

Public Access
#7
Well, start with a little thing known as logical deduction. Think it through. I to have a stubborn mind, and stubbornness is not based in logic. The more you think it through, the easier life will be. Also, try a little thing called christianity. It ain't that bad
 

Thedeliberates

Well-Known Member
#8
Ya know, I think this generation is at a huge disadvantage. Im 28 and it sucks...i feel bad for folks my age and younger. Nothing to do, no community, no value on emotional intelligence, social media, no money, crime,nothing to live for, no inherent purpose in society- and its so stupid. You seem emotionally intelligent, youre not bigoted, youre ok with asking for help, you are self aware, you can admit your short comings...i mean, that's great! Sadly, the traits that used to make someone successful in their community doesn't fit the globalist agenda of impersonal cities that produce and consume, so im sorry about that. I cant say itll get better, because it may not, but youre alright. Youre not an a-hole. And its better to be a loser than an a-hole. The world is full of a-holes and that is why its so unpleasant to live in, and the fact that youre not one is awesome.

I can try to help you find some direction. Answer me this- what are your core values, like what is the most important thing a person should do or embody in their life in your opinion? Examples: being nice to people, making a contribution, charity, success. What is reeeaaally important?
 

Thedeliberates

Well-Known Member
#9
My family says I am the most selfish person they know so I don't know if me being selfless is true or not. How do I have value? What is my purpose? I still don't know what to do to recover and make me a better person. I also asked for advice, because apparently I am so desperate to ask random strangers on the internet what to do to help my life..
Im depressed/ unsuccessful despite trying at life and not getting anywhere (yay liberal arts degree) and as a result Im poor despite working and my mom says Im "entitled". Like woohoo.. Depressed impoverished millennial over here..Living it up!
 
#10
Well, start with a little thing known as logical deduction. Think it through. I to have a stubborn mind, and stubbornness is not based in logic. The more you think it through, the easier life will be. Also, try a little thing called christianity. It ain't that bad

I am personally an atheist, don't believe in astrology, fortune-telling, etc, but I am willing to do other things to increase my spiritual health like meditation, raising my positive energy and other things that increase positive energy. I do appreciate the advice though, but I am just not religious.
 

Freya

Loves SF
Forum Owner
ADMIN
SF Author
#11
Your writing is coherent and basically gramatically accurate. You use analogy to illustrate your point. It is obvious that your IQ is not the problem so I think that my first piece of advice would be to stop telling yourself lies about your intelligence because it masks the real problems.

I think that listening to lies - told either by yourself or by the internet - is probably an issue for you. For example someone (yourself, the internet - I do not know) is telling you that women 'only' want 'perfect' six foot men. If that were true, there would be a disproportionate number of single people. I just did the Google search on America (because I know that UK men are statistically on average slightly shorter) and in the US apparently only 1/5 men are 6 foot tall. That means that 80% of men are not 6 foot so it cannot possibly be true that women 'only' want 6 foot men.

I am five foot eight. My fiance is shorter than I am. My two best friends are married to men who are five foot five and five foot eight. At Christmas we had a work Christmas party and my colleagues brought their partners. I was taller than over half of them. By telling yourself that your height is going to mean you cannot have sex, you are letting yourself 'off the hook' to work on being someone that women want to have sex with.

From your post I am reading that:
  1. You don't want to be a disappointment to your parents
  2. You want to attract a female either for sex or for a relationship (I am extrapolating the second as you only talk about sex here and not having a relationship with a woman)
  3. You want to change to become less of what you consider to be 'a loser'

I think that you know that you DO in fact have a choice in how you spend your days. It is not easy - change is never easy, especially when you are breaking habbits and having to do things you do not want to do - but it is possible.

You ask for advice so my advice is this:
  1. If you are going to watch youtube watch some videos about good nutrition and gentle exercise and start to eat better and do some exercise instead of laying about all day to improve your health. Also has the benefit of improving mental health as a side effect.
  2. Start to apply to jobs - I know people who are barely even literate who have jobs. It won't be a glamourous or well paid job but it will be a job if you stop lying to yourself about not being able to get one.
Once you are working, physical health and fitness will be easier because the chances are you will be on your feet and only able to eat at particular times. You will also have some purpose and some money so your parents will feel happier and you won't be 'wasting' their money anymore as you put it.
Girls like guys who can take care of themselves - who are not going to be asking them for money or unable to go to dinner or to a movie or need their girlfriend to always put gas in the car etc. because they don't have a job themselves. Girls are looking for a partner not a kid to look after.

I would also advise that you look at women as more than people to have sex with and have a goal of more than losing your virginity. Girls don't want to be sex objects - they want a man who will talk to them, be interested in who they are, have fun together and do things that are not just preludes to sex. I would also REALLY STRONGLY suggest you stop calling yourself an incel and stay away from incel communities - those places are toxic and full of lies and a lot of mysoginistic women-hating shitty people.

I hope that you are able to pick maybe three key things that you can start doing that will make you feel like you are at least working toward things being better. The first steps are the hardest but you can start as soon as you choose to :)
 
Last edited:

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#12
It is fucking bullshit that I feel like I have no self-control to the point where I really feel like everything in my life was predetermined in this piece of the shit world I have to live in
Your environmental conditions were predetermined, as was the mental conditioning you absorbed from it, but this doesn't mean you are defined by the bad thoughts you think about yourself, and can't detach yourself from them, seeing them as they are - mere thoughts programmed into your mind from the environment you grew up in. You need to find yourself, the one who is having these thoughts, and stop identifying with them, this character you take to be yourself.
I really want to change my loser ways but I can't because I have no choice but to accept reality and just watch life go by in this hellhole of a world
In reality, you only think you're a loser according to the socially inculcated standards you're judging yourself by. But you are not the thoughts in your mind, and the standards aren't true measures of your worth and dignity as a human being, which is innate. You can discover this for yourself and free yourself from the negative conditioning which stops you from changing the physical circumstances you are stuck in right now
 
Last edited:

Thedeliberates

Well-Known Member
#13
Your writing is coherent and basically gramatically accurate. You use analogy to illustrate your point. It is obvious that your IQ is not the problem so I think that my first piece of advice would be to stop telling yourself lies about your intelligence because it masks the real problems.

I think that listening to lies - told either by yourself or by the internet - is probably an issue for you. For example someone (yourself, the internet - I do not know) is telling you that women 'only' want 'perfect' six foot men. If that were true, there would be a disproportionate number of single people. I just did the Google search on America (because I know that UK men are statistically on average slightly shorter) and in the US apparently on 1/5 men are 6 foot tall. That means that 80% of men are not 6 foot so it cannot possibly be true that women 'only' want 6 foot men.

I am five foot eight. My fiance is shorter than I am. My two best friends are married to men who are five foot five and five foot eight. At Christmas we had a work Christmas party and my colleagues brought their partners. I was taller than over half of them. By telling yourself that your height is going to mean you cannot have sex, you are letting yourself 'off the hook' to work on being someone that women want to have sex with.

From your post I am reading that:
  1. You don't want to be a disappointment to your parents
  2. You want to attract a female either for sex or for a relationship (I am extrapolating the second as you only talk about sex here and not having a relationship with a woman)
  3. You want to change to become less of what you consider to be 'a loser'

I think that you know that you DO in fact have a choice in how you spend your days. It is not easy - change is never easy, especially when you are breaking habbits and having to do things you do not want to do - but it is possible.

You ask for advice so my advice is this:
  1. If you are going to watch youtube watch some videos about good nutrition and gentle exercise and start to eat better and do some exercise instead of laying about all day to improve your health. Also has the benefit of improving mental health as a side effect.
  2. Start to apply to jobs - I know people who are barely even literate who have jobs. It won't be a glamourous or well paid job but it will be a job if you stop lying to yourself about not being able to get one.
Once you are working, physical health and fitness will be easier because the chances are you will be on your feet and only able to eat at particular times. You will also have some purpose and some money so your parents will feel happier and you won't be 'wasting' their money anymore as you put it.
Girls like guys who can take care of themselves - who are not going to be asking them for money or unable to go to dinner or to a movie or need their girlfriend to always put gas in the car etc. because they don't have a job themselves. Girls are looking for a partner not a kid to look after.

I would also advise that you look at women as more than people to have sex with and have a goal of more than losing your virginity. Girls don't want to be sex objects - they want a man who will talk to them, be interested in who they are, have fun together and do things that are not just preludes to sex. I would also REALLY STRONGLY suggest you stop calling yourself an incel and stay away from incel communities - those places are toxic and full of lies and a lot of mysoginistic women-hating shitty people.

I hope that you are able to pick maybe three key things that you can start doing that will make you feel like you are at least working toward things being better. The first steps are the hardest but you can start as soon as you choose to :)
My ex boyfriend of 6 years was 5'2" and I am 5'4". Him being shorter than me at first was weird because my ex at the time had been 6ft, but I didn't want to be shallow and after a while didnt even notice.
 
#14
Your writing is coherent and basically gramatically accurate. You use analogy to illustrate your point. It is obvious that your IQ is not the problem so I think that my first piece of advice would be to stop telling yourself lies about your intelligence because it masks the real problems.

I think that listening to lies - told either by yourself or by the internet - is probably an issue for you. For example someone (yourself, the internet - I do not know) is telling you that women 'only' want 'perfect' six foot men. If that were true, there would be a disproportionate number of single people. I just did the Google search on America (because I know that UK men are statistically on average slightly shorter) and in the US apparently only 1/5 men are 6 foot tall. That means that 80% of men are not 6 foot so it cannot possibly be true that women 'only' want 6 foot men.

I am five foot eight. My fiance is shorter than I am. My two best friends are married to men who are five foot five and five foot eight. At Christmas we had a work Christmas party and my colleagues brought their partners. I was taller than over half of them. By telling yourself that your height is going to mean you cannot have sex, you are letting yourself 'off the hook' to work on being someone that women want to have sex with.

From your post I am reading that:
  1. You don't want to be a disappointment to your parents
  2. You want to attract a female either for sex or for a relationship (I am extrapolating the second as you only talk about sex here and not having a relationship with a woman)
  3. You want to change to become less of what you consider to be 'a loser'

I think that you know that you DO in fact have a choice in how you spend your days. It is not easy - change is never easy, especially when you are breaking habbits and having to do things you do not want to do - but it is possible.

You ask for advice so my advice is this:
  1. If you are going to watch youtube watch some videos about good nutrition and gentle exercise and start to eat better and do some exercise instead of laying about all day to improve your health. Also has the benefit of improving mental health as a side effect.
  2. Start to apply to jobs - I know people who are barely even literate who have jobs. It won't be a glamourous or well paid job but it will be a job if you stop lying to yourself about not being able to get one.
Once you are working, physical health and fitness will be easier because the chances are you will be on your feet and only able to eat at particular times. You will also have some purpose and some money so your parents will feel happier and you won't be 'wasting' their money anymore as you put it.
Girls like guys who can take care of themselves - who are not going to be asking them for money or unable to go to dinner or to a movie or need their girlfriend to always put gas in the car etc. because they don't have a job themselves. Girls are looking for a partner not a kid to look after.

I would also advise that you look at women as more than people to have sex with and have a goal of more than losing your virginity. Girls don't want to be sex objects - they want a man who will talk to them, be interested in who they are, have fun together and do things that are not just preludes to sex. I would also REALLY STRONGLY suggest you stop calling yourself an incel and stay away from incel communities - those places are toxic and full of lies and a lot of mysoginistic women-hating shitty people.

I hope that you are able to pick maybe three key things that you can start doing that will make you feel like you are at least working toward things being better. The first steps are the hardest but you can start as soon as you choose to :)

Look I don't understand at all why it is wrong for someone to kill themself. If someone wants to kill themself then it should be there right to do so. The very fact that suicide is illegal and is something someone can get jail time for sickens me. I clearly serve no purpose in life and I have been searching for it for years.


Also since I am a high school graduate that doesn't have any work experience I would have to work some shitty 9-5 job for at least a few months to get work exp and benefits. I would go ballistic if I had to work at a warehouse or a fast-food chain or a clerk at some store that has a depressing environment. Unless what I find doing is enjoyable I cannot make a living off of it esp in the mental state that I am in.

I also isolate myself from my family even though I live with them. I even called my mom, dad, and sister a **** at one point and I have no shame in doing so. I also spit on my dad before, but keep in mind that happened when I was younger. I have nobody in my family that I could relate to besides my one cousin but that is it. I have nothing but hatred for my parents for bringing me into this world. When I was 13 I got sent to the mental hospital when I didn't want to go. I almost feel like I have PTSD from that place. I saw someone in a stray jacket, got screamed at by some fucking **** who worked there and didn't eat anything because I would gag on anything that I was forced to eat. I also didn't shower there for 3 days because I thought of someone. I want mental help but I am afraid to go back.


I don't know if it is an incel aspect anymore, I just need to get out of the house. because a couple of years ago I actively participated in gaming tournaments and in 2018 I did ok in them too because I had a healthier mind, however, starting in 2019 I get to be a bit more isolated. Ever since then, it has been getting worse and worse. I didn't even have many friends in the hobbies I was interested in and when I contacted most of them they wouldn't text back. I feel like I should go back to that only because it got me out of the house and got me to socialize with other people.

I tried to make today a good day but I still feel horrible. I worked out, I meditated, I tried to eat healthily, etc. Nothing worse and now I felt almost as bad as the meltdown I had yesterday. No matter what I do nothing works. I feel like the earth is actually just hell at this point and the only way out is to kill myself. unless if you or somebody has something else in mind.
 

Freya

Loves SF
Forum Owner
ADMIN
SF Author
#15
the very vast majority of people have to work a shitty job they don’t enjoy at least in the beginning and it is proven that working at least part time is extremely beneficial to mental health as it provides structure and purpose and routine and is overall good for self esteem. It also helps a lot with the isolation aspect you reference. Telling yourself that you can’t work unless it is something you enjoy is another example of attitude getting in the way of reality and not accepting the reality that everyone is living.

in terms of how you treat your family etc only you can make the choice to change that. How you treat people is always a conscious decision.

I am sorry you had a bad experience in hospital - that sounds horrible and I am sure you are scared to repeat that. You can get help without going to the hospital though. The hard work to get better does have to come from you though. You should talk to your doctor about CBT.
 
#16
the very vast majority of people have to work a shitty job they don’t enjoy at least in the beginning and it is proven that working at least part time is extremely beneficial to mental health as it provides structure and purpose and routine and is overall good for self esteem. It also helps a lot with the isolation aspect you reference. Telling yourself that you can’t work unless it is something you enjoy is another example of attitude getting in the way of reality and not accepting the reality that everyone is living.

in terms of how you treat your family etc only you can make the choice to change that. How you treat people is always a conscious decision.

I am sorry you had a bad experience in hospital - that sounds horrible and I am sure you are scared to repeat that. You can get help without going to the hospital though. The hard work to get better does have to come from you though. You should talk to your doctor about CBT.

Let me tell you about some of the other aspects of my life.


First of I was born with ADHD and autism. They both have impacted my life greatly and I truly believe I have it harder than other people in this world because of this. Lets first start off with ADHD. I think my ADHD is so severe that I cannot focus on a task for more than 5 mins without being bored. My focus is so poor that whenever I read or watch something that I am not interested in I will forget it immediately. I also believe this implies that I cannot have the ability to critically analyze works of art because I cannot understand them for what most people see. 99% percent of the time when I watch a movie or play a video game I feel like I cannot have my own opinion when it comes to things because I am afraid I would look like a retard if I have my own beliefs. my whole life I been following other people's opinions and not making up my own.



Second, let's start with my autism. growing up I had very little friends. It got worse and worse as time went on to the point where I don't think I really talked to anyone in high school. Up till right before high school I sometimes had to go special ed summer school despite that I did not fail a single grade until I went to a community college. I don't understand what was the reasoning. The only logical reason was that I probably had a horrible score some SAT like test and I was eligible for it. It was because of this I felt that everyone around me growing up had perfectly good social skills and that I am some rare person that wasn't a "Normie" kid" growing up. It is because of this that I do believe people are divided into Chads, Stacys, Normies, Nerds, etc. I know this sounds like an outdated view of people, but this is what I believe. It is also the reason I have isolated my self from other people is that I feel I have nobody to relate to. I honestly do not know my IQ, but I probably do not have any emotional intelligence at all. I can tell when someone is mad or happy, but I cannot understand social cues to a person's emotions. To whoever said I was emotionally intelligent is in this thread is wrong, but I glad for the compliment. I do not even have a lot of autism, since I have Aspergers. Nobody should go have to suffer from autism or mental disability in this world.




Lastly, let's talk a bit more about my modern life. All I do is spend time on the internet mostly youtube. I do not upload videos but I watch them for at least 10-12 hours a day when I am not at my education. What I go to is a place called Turning Pointe. Basically I spend a few hours a day learning more about the professional world there but I also had to do the same like 3 times in a row. In theory, this sounds like a good idea which it is, but the problem is that they are showing careers that about organization. For example, every Wednesday we go to store food and other items at a local Walgreens. Also, they have shown us a place called Follet where it is a warehouse that stores textbooks into boxes. The pattern is that all of these jobs will eventually be replaced by robots in the future and do not serve as a purpose in life. I understand I have to start off somewhere, but working some 9-5 is not something I could do long term. Today's day and age strive off of creativity and passion. We do not strive off of 9-5, repetitive task work, making 8-12 dollars an hour wage slaves. I would have done youtube as a career, but this day and age I don't know if I would be able to make interesting content or have enough of a following, ad revenue, and plenty of other factors as well.




I hope you understand a bit more about me and why I view things the way I do. Sorry for the long post from some sperg on the internet. I just need help.

TLDR: I explain how Aspergers and ADHD have negatively impacted my life to the point of insanity.
 
#17
Ya know, I think this generation is at a huge disadvantage. Im 28 and it sucks...i feel bad for folks my age and younger. Nothing to do, no community, no value on emotional intelligence, social media, no money, crime,nothing to live for, no inherent purpose in society- and its so stupid. You seem emotionally intelligent, youre not bigoted, youre ok with asking for help, you are self aware, you can admit your short comings...i mean, that's great! Sadly, the traits that used to make someone successful in their community doesn't fit the globalist agenda of impersonal cities that produce and consume, so im sorry about that. I cant say itll get better, because it may not, but youre alright. Youre not an a-hole. And its better to be a loser than an a-hole. The world is full of a-holes and that is why its so unpleasant to live in, and the fact that youre not one is awesome.

I can try to help you find some direction. Answer me this- what are your core values, like what is the most important thing a person should do or embody in their life in your opinion? Examples: being nice to people, making a contribution, charity, success. What is reeeaaally important?

You should read the post that I have Aspergers and how it impacted my life. I do not understand how I can be emotionally intelligent.
 
#18
Sorry that you're going through this.

CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) might be helpful for you. Part of the problems that you're having may be coming from the way you see the world, and CBT can help with that. You can learn CBT from a therapist, but it's also possible to learn on your own. A member here has recommended "The Feeling Good Handbook" by Doctor David Burns.

The links in my signature have some information about treatment methods. In particular, acupuncture, traditional Chinese herbal medicine, and traditional Chinese dietary therapy might be helpful for you.
 

Thedeliberates

Well-Known Member
#19
You should read the post that I have Aspergers and how it impacted my life. I do not understand how I can be emotionally intelligent.
I read through your post and some of your comments. Lets just play devil's advocate and say that your IQ were low. How many dumb happy complacent people have you met? Or... If youre socially inept or lack emotional intelligence, how many absent minded and self centered people have you met who are perfectly content and survive the world just by being this way? My point is- if you JUST lacked mental strengths, you could still have the capacity for happiness. That leads me to believe that your conflict stems from your feelings of inadequacy, not any actual short comings that you may or may not have. And, smart people have problems like being alone or not succeeding in formal education and have crippling emotional health problems. People tell me Im super smart and I graduated top of my class and Ive taken years of therapy to be more emotionally intelligent and Im a loser with no friends and I watch youtube most of the day.

Yes, i know you have a diagnosed mental health issue and you have definable symptoms that go with that that are outside of your control.. But i dont know if your problem is intelligence or emotional literacy from reading your reasoning. I think people suck, and this world sucks, and youre too hard on yourself.
 
#20
Sorry that you're going through this.

CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) might be helpful for you. Part of the problems that you're having may be coming from the way you see the world, and CBT can help with that. You can learn CBT from a therapist, but it's also possible to learn on your own. A member here has recommended "The Feeling Good Handbook" by Doctor David Burns.

The links in my signature have some information about treatment methods. In particular, acupuncture, traditional Chinese herbal medicine, and traditional Chinese dietary therapy might be helpful for you.

That actually sounds like a good idea. I thought of it before but never tried it. Any other things you or other people can suggest.
 

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