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I dont know if I can enjoy life anymore. Nothing is worth living in life and I have 0 purpose. Why is scuide not acceptable if I am a giant waste.

WhiteRice

Well-Known Member
#1
I want to genually kill myself but I have no way in doing so. I have 0 friends and I have 0 purpose in life other than to waste peoples fucking time. Nobody genually loves me or ever reaches out to me because people know I am a waste of space that should get a rope. I work a shit job that barely pays anything to keep my sanity and my job makes the ropefuel go up even more. I feel entirely worthless. I will forever be a perma virgin incel who will never get any sign of affection from a women. I am 23 and just want to die already. I dont get why scuide is not an acceptable option for me since I am such a low life compared to every human being who has ever lived. I am done I want to kill myself but I can't because I am too weak to do it. I am just suffering hell on earth at this fucking point. I will never enjoy anything. Killing myself is the only way end suffering.
 
#3
I want to genually kill myself but I have no way in doing so. I have 0 friends and I have 0 purpose in life other than to waste peoples fucking time. Nobody genually loves me or ever reaches out to me because people know I am a waste of space that should get a rope. I work a shit job that barely pays anything to keep my sanity and my job makes the ropefuel go up even more. I feel entirely worthless. I will forever be a perma virgin incel who will never get any sign of affection from a women. I am 23 and just want to die already. I dont get why scuide is not an acceptable option for me since I am such a low life compared to every human being who has ever lived. I am done I want to kill myself but I can't because I am too weak to do it. I am just suffering hell on earth at this fucking point. I will never enjoy anything. Killing myself is the only way end suffering.
Take it from someone who is 53. You are very young and you still have plenty of time to discover some purpose in your life. I'm very sorry you have nobody who loves you - are your parents not alive? No family? If you have a bad family that is not your fault. It sounds to me like you are being much too hard on yourself. Please imagine that you had a twin who had the exact same experiences as you and the same bad feelings running through his head. What would you advise him? Can you summon up some compassion for him? Everyone deserves understanding.

Do you believe that everyone gets what they deserve? I hope not, because many many people here and IRL are suffering from things they don't deserve. Many good people are suffering. So please don't assume that because you are suffering, you deserve it. If you have depression it can make you only see the negative. But there is help. You've taken a step in joining this forum and there are many people here like you who are struggling. I hope you will consider abandoning the idea of ending your life, at least for now. Give yourself a chance. Plenty of imperfect people (myself included) find somebody to love, but it's generally important to find some kind of compassion for yourself first. You don't have to "love" yourself necessarily but you shouldn't hate yourself or it will be difficult for you to let someone love you. There are ways you can change your perception. I hope you will stick around and see some positive changes.

*hug
 

WhiteRice

Well-Known Member
#6
Take it from someone who is 53. You are very young and you still have plenty of time to discover some purpose in your life. I'm very sorry you have nobody who loves you - are your parents not alive? No family? If you have a bad family that is not your fault. It sounds to me like you are being much too hard on yourself. Please imagine that you had a twin who had the exact same experiences as you and the same bad feelings running through his head. What would you advise him? Can you summon up some compassion for him? Everyone deserves understanding.

Do you believe that everyone gets what they deserve? I hope not, because many many people here and IRL are suffering from things they don't deserve. Many good people are suffering. So please don't assume that because you are suffering, you deserve it. If you have depression it can make you only see the negative. But there is help. You've taken a step in joining this forum and there are many people here like you who are struggling. I hope you will consider abandoning the idea of ending your life, at least for now. Give yourself a chance. Plenty of imperfect people (myself included) find somebody to love, but it's generally important to find some kind of compassion for yourself first. You don't have to "love" yourself necessarily but you shouldn't hate yourself or it will be difficult for you to let someone love you. There are ways you can change your perception. I hope you will stick around and see some positive changes.

*hug
I dont even know if I can make it to 53 with the unhealthy lifestyle I live. I eat nothing but junk food and real food makes me gag. my family is alive at least but that doesn't help me with being a kissless hugless handholdless virgin that no women would want because they are too busy with sex toys rather than an actual person. I heard a life without meaning is still a life worth living according to philosophy so that is why I still live. I get what I deserve.
 

MAC0

Y.N.W.A
SF Supporter
#7
Maybe i am the wrong person to give advice here as much of not enjoying life it feeling like a chore is my life at 44 so happy you found this site as not only will you get great advice people genuinely care

one thing that i have come to accept is your not worthless everyone has hope everyone deserves a future
 
#8
I dont even know if I can make it to 53 with the unhealthy lifestyle I live. I eat nothing but junk food and real food makes me gag. my family is alive at least but that doesn't help me with being a kissless hugless handholdless virgin that no women would want because they are too busy with sex toys rather than an actual person. I heard a life without meaning is still a life worth living according to philosophy so that is why I still live. I get what I deserve.
Well I ate a lot of junk food in my 20s too. Just learn to cook a few things even if just pasta or something simple, or make pizza or burgers at home. And eat some veggies or fruit you can stand, be it carrot sticks or whatever. I'm glad you have family. And women may joke about just wanting sex toys but they actually want a real person too. They want hugs and hand-holding and all the things a real relationship brings.

As for meaning, I don't think anyone's life has more intrinsic meaning than anyone else's. I think we make our own meaning. One of the biggest things is to find something that interests you to do for a living, if at all possible. Dead end jobs really suck. You don't have to "love" what you do for a living but it should be something that gives you some satisfaction and decently paid, and it's also a big advantage in life (and in dating) to have a decent career, be it as a plumber or a software engineer or teacher or fashion designer. The trades are a great place to look if you don't want a ton of schooling. My friend's daughter became a joiner and really enjoys it and gets paid well.
 

WhiteRice

Well-Known Member
#9
Well I ate a lot of junk food in my 20s too. Just learn to cook a few things even if just pasta or something simple, or make pizza or burgers at home. And eat some veggies or fruit you can stand, be it carrot sticks or whatever. I'm glad you have family. And women may joke about just wanting sex toys but they actually want a real person too. They want hugs and hand-holding and all the things a real relationship brings.

As for meaning, I don't think anyone's life has more intrinsic meaning than anyone else's. I think we make our own meaning. One of the biggest things is to find something that interests you to do for a living, if at all possible. Dead end jobs really suck. You don't have to "love" what you do for a living but it should be something that gives you some satisfaction and decently paid, and it's also a big advantage in life (and in dating) to have a decent career, be it as a plumber or a software engineer or teacher or fashion designer. The trades are a great place to look if you don't want a ton of schooling. My friend's daughter became a joiner and really enjoys it and gets paid well.
No women don't care about an actual relationship in 2022. There is a reason why I am an incel because I think what they are saying is right (for the most part). And they certainly wouldn't want some autistic retard like me. I have statistics to prove I am a lost cause to dating. I should learn how to cook a few things but once again I am retarded so I would probably suck at that. All autistic people like me can do is work wage slave jobs so they can get buy in life because I am such a low life. I really dont think I have purpose in life because I am too mentally disabled for it let. Actually doing something I like as a living is an actual joke because that is too far fetched to me. *sadhug
 

Marga

Well-Known Member
#10
No women don't care about an actual relationship in 2022. There is a reason why I am an incel because I think what they are saying is right (for the most part). And they certainly wouldn't want some autistic retard like me. I have statistics to prove I am a lost cause to dating. I should learn how to cook a few things but once again I am retarded so I would probably suck at that. All autistic people like me can do is work wage slave jobs so they can get buy in life because I am such a low life. I really dont think I have purpose in life because I am too mentally disabled for it let. Actually doing something I like as a living is an actual joke because that is too far fetched to me. *sadhug
Hi WhiteRice, I am not in a position to give much advice, my love life is also not working out well. But just a few remarks - why do you say you are autistic and retarded? Sounds like very strong words to me. Maybe you are just introverted, shy... I know how it feels to be rejected by people. It is important to have some hobbies that you can fill up your time with. Is there anything you like doing? Also, if you are not eating healthy as you say, you can start by improving your lifestyle little by little. Maybe start going for walks... add some vegetables to your meals... sleep well. But I know it is hard to love oneself when no one seems to love you. Start by taking small steps. Hugs
 

MAC0

Y.N.W.A
SF Supporter
#11
No women don't care about an actual relationship in 2022. There is a reason why I am an incel because I think what they are saying is right (for the most part). And they certainly wouldn't want some autistic retard like me. I have statistics to prove I am a lost cause to dating. I should learn how to cook a few things but once again I am retarded so I would probably suck at that. All autistic people like me can do is work wage slave jobs so they can get buy in life because I am such a low life. I really dont think I have purpose in life because I am too mentally disabled for it let. Actually doing something I like as a living is an actual joke because that is too far fetched to me. *sadhug
first your not a retard you might have an issue with autism but your not a retard your just like everyone else in the world you have issues in your private life that you deal with trusrt no one is perfect
 

Ziggy

Antiquitie's Friend
#12
I guess there's lots of things in this world that would make my life better, having lots of money, being in a relationship etc. however there are many people in this world who are rich, in a relationship and very unhappy so I think there's a lot more to life than that. I'm not sure what I want really, so realistically I just have to think how I can make life slightly better, take small steps to wherever I'm heading.

I play the piano and have put in a lot of time and effort to seemingly make no progress, but I look back 10 years and realize how much I've improved. I'll never be any good at it, but I think how lucky I am to be able to hear expert pianists play. They're better than me, there's so many people who are better than me though, I try not to feel bad about myself but try to be glad that I can experience the music they play, the art they produce, the books they write etc.
 
#13
Killing myself is the only way end suffering.
I don't think that's true.
I eat nothing but junk food and real food makes me gag.
If you'd like, I could make some suggestions about some quick, easy, cheap, and nutritious meals to make. :)
No women don't care about an actual relationship in 2022.
That's not true. There are some women who don't want relationships, but I think most do. What makes you think this is true?
And they certainly wouldn't want some autistic retard like me.
I bet there's someone out there for you, you just have to find her.
All autistic people like me can do is work wage slave jobs
That's not true. You may be able to get vocational assistance that will help you find a job that you like better.

You can also get a massage for depression from a licensed massage therapist. You might like the physical contact even though it's non-sexual.
 
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MentallyTired7

Well-Known Member
#15
@WhiteRice We are pretty similar I think. I’m young as well, have autism, have no friends in real life (I consider you guys on this Forum as my friends), feel pretty worthless and also want to kill myself. I also am too weak to do it. With women I also have no succes. So you are not alone. I would like to be your friend and I am sure many others on the Forum would like that too. Hope things will improve for you. And feel free to message me if you need someone to talk too.
 

WhiteRice

Well-Known Member
#16
Hi WhiteRice, I am not in a position to give much advice, my love life is also not working out well. But just a few remarks - why do you say you are autistic and retarded? Sounds like very strong words to me. Maybe you are just introverted, shy... I know how it feels to be rejected by people. It is important to have some hobbies that you can fill up your time with. Is there anything you like doing? Also, if you are not eating healthy as you say, you can start by improving your lifestyle little by little. Maybe start going for walks... add some vegetables to your meals... sleep well. But I know it is hard to love oneself when no one seems to love you. Start by taking small steps. Hugs
I was diagnosed with aspergers as a young kid. They are not strong words if they are facts. Also i cannot eat vegatables if they make me gag.
 

WhiteRice

Well-Known Member
#17
I don't think that's true.

If you'd like, I could make some suggestions about some quick, easy, cheap, and nutritious meals to make. :)

That's not true. There are some women who don't want relationships, but I think most do. What makes you think this is true?

I bet there's someone out there for you, you just have to find her.

That's not true. You may be able to get vocational assistance that will help you find a job that you like better.

This is why God made strippers. Having a gf might be the ideal route, but you can definitely get out of hugless and handholdless zone by going to a club. If you want to go that route, I can give you more info.

You can also get a massage for depression from a licensed massage therapist. You might like the physical contact even though it's non-sexual.

The red pill truth is that sometimes there isn't someone for everyone. Some people are natural perma virgins. If I have to pay to have sex then it shows that I am a failure of a human being. Women do not want a relationship if all I see on my twitter timeline is how they complain about men being under 5'9 is a crime and shit like that.
 

Ziggy

Antiquitie's Friend
#18
Not a good idea judging people by what you read on Twitter. I had the impression that the world was filled with bad people / idiots, but at least being on this site has made me realize there's good people out there. Some people may call virgins losers but Beethoven probably died a virgin, so to me people are wrong (or rather, mainly people on twitter are wrong) My mates son has Asperger's, he'll probably be single all his life but he's doing well for himself and seems to be happy (probably 'cos we've told him thousands of times not to listen to what idiots say though!) and people are proud of him.
 
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#19
No women don't care about an actual relationship in 2022. There is a reason why I am an incel because I think what they are saying is right (for the most part). And they certainly wouldn't want some autistic retard like me. I have statistics to prove I am a lost cause to dating. I should learn how to cook a few things but once again I am retarded so I would probably suck at that. All autistic people like me can do is work wage slave jobs so they can get buy in life because I am such a low life. I really dont think I have purpose in life because I am too mentally disabled for it let. Actually doing something I like as a living is an actual joke because that is too far fetched to me. *sadhug
Then why are both my nieces in their 20s in a long-term relationship? You cannot generalize to all women. The fact that you are doing so may be part of the problem. Women are as diverse as men.

Why are you using the word "retard"? That is a hateful and cruel word and isn't okay, even to use against yourself. You sure don't sound like you have subnormal intelligence, and if you're on the spectrum you're not alone - have you tried an autism support group? Many people here on SF are on the spectrum.

Here's the thing: You can't control a lot of things, but you can learn to change your way of thinking. I come from an abusive family and I did years of therapy in my early 20s and met my husband when I was 25. Plenty of people I know have met their partners when they were 30 and older. But you're not going to meet anyone good for you if you hate yourself. You don't have to "love" yourself as some say, but you have to make some kind of peace with yourself.

Imagine you had a close friend who'd had the same type of background and disabilities as you. How would you talk to him? Would you call him a retard and tell him he's too mentally disabled to ever have something that interests him to do for a living?

I doubt you would. You would encourage him, see his potential, and that's what you must do for yourself. Get help now while you're young and still have a chance to get a decent life. It's not too late. I'm 53 and recently sold some of my short fiction (publishing short stories for money is notoriously difficult) and am writing a novel. Sure, the odds are against me but I've beaten them before.

I really hope you can get some help. Try watching Therapy in a Nutshell on YouTube - she is a licensed therapist and many of her videos are helpful and they will show you what therapy is like.
 
#20
The red pill truth is that sometimes there isn't someone for everyone.
There's ~7 Billion people on the planet. Odds are, there really is someone for everyone, and more to the point, someone for you. It's not guaranteed that you'll find her by any means, but you can't find what you don't look for.
If I have to pay to have sex then it shows that I am a failure of a human being.
Going to strip club isn't exactly sex, but it would in no way make you a failure. You could say that if you have to go to a supermarket instead of growing and hunting for your own food, that you're a failure. You could say if you don't build your own car, repair it yourself, and drill for an refine your own gasoline, that you're a failure. There's a million things that you could assign the failure label to, but paying for goods and services is just part of living in a modern economic system.

Conversely, you could say that doing what you need to do to survive without causing harm to others makes you resilient and a success. Please don't paint yourself into a corner and throw your life away simply because you want to assign the "failure" label to anything that might help make you happy.
Women do not want a relationship if all I see on my twitter timeline is how they complain about men being under 5'9 is a crime and shit like that.
Social media is not reality. There are some women who are really fixated on height, but it's not all of them. Cancel twitter, not your life.
 

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