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i hate myself

Soda-Voxel

Public Access
#1
There's not any aspect I like about myself. Even if I have a good moment where I like something I do for a few hours, it never lasts. I always come back to realising what a failure I am. I can't draw or write well, my ideas are awful, I'm ugly and stupid, I don't have any talents or redeeming qualities...the list just goes on. Any time I think otherwise is just a delusion because I'm in a good mood. I don't deserve to be happy. I just make everyone sad because of my stupid feelings. I hate myself so much. I wish I was anyone else.
 

Soda-Voxel

Public Access
#3
You're not alone in feeling like that. I doubt that there are very many people here that actually like themselves - or at least do all the time. Doesn't mean you don't deserve to be happy.

What do you write?
Thank you. It depends. I don't write as often as I used to, but I like to either write vent poems or short stories about my characters. I used to plan long stories when I was little , but I never finished them. I used to want to be an author actually, but ever since my depression worsened I kind of stopped wanting that.
 

Soda-Voxel

Public Access
#5
What sort of stories do you write?
When it comes to my characters, I will plan their backstories in my head, so the things I actually do write down are usually just short one or two page kind of 'scenes' about them feeling or doing something, having a conversation, etc. I don't really have the energy for a whole story, I never really have had the patience.

I feel like I had more creativity when I was younger, or maybe I'm more creative now and just hate myself more so I don't realise? Lol idk
 

Wispiwill

Well-Known Member
#8
When it comes to my characters, I will plan their backstories in my head, so the things I actually do write down are usually just short one or two page kind of 'scenes' about them feeling or doing something, having a conversation, etc. I don't really have the energy for a whole story, I never really have had the patience.

I feel like I had more creativity when I was younger, or maybe I'm more creative now and just hate myself more so I don't realise? Lol idk
Doesn't sound as though you're lacking any creativity - just motivation and energy. Even if you don't write the whole story - just putting the idea down can be good. It's a start anyway. And then, maybe, you can go back and write it when you have a little more energy. Or just allow yourself to write it at your own pace. A few lines a day sort of thing.
 

Alone2020

Well-Known Member
#9
Hey,
I so understand what your saying, I’m my own worst critic, I don’t like the sound of my voice and even though it’s better I don’t like what I see in the mirror. On the flip side given all the crap I’ve lived threw I’m proud of the man I’ve become, I’m moral, faithful, honest, genuine, caring, compassionate, gentle, tender, giving, passionate. I still have a long way to go as do all of us. Surely you have one quality that is good about you that you see, maybe not by others but you see it. Try to go on that and if you can let it build and then find another thing in your life and water that one. Life is a journey with ups and allot of downs. I was told once that I didn’t create the mess in my life but I have to clean it up, they are right.
 

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