So about a year ago, I went to a friend's house. It was my friend (no names, just initials) A's house (female), our mutual friend B(male), my best friend S (female) and myself all at this little party. A's brother got us some alcohol because hey we're teenagers and like to do stupid shit.
He got us these off-brand four-locos that I can't remember the name of, but they had around 13% alcohol to a can and the cans were about he size of a monster can.
I wound up slamming mine because it was so shitty tasting and I was just like 'why not'. I can remember playing truth or dare on her bed. And mind you, I'm very conservative with my body. I hate others seeing it and I am not a sexual person. For me even kissing is weird.
It became our friend B's turn to ask someone and I was asked to take off my shirt. S and A had theirs off already, so I figured 'why not, B is a friend it's whatever'.
From that point on, I guess it was the alcohol that blurred my memory.
The next day I woke up in different clothing, damp hair and a massive hangover.
I was told that A had fingered me. And that I consented to it. But the thing is, I don't remember any of it. It makes me sick to my stomach to even think about it.
I'm still friends with her and everyone who was there. But I just need to know if that was okay or not.
I've never been raped or anything like that before, and hopefully never will. So when that all happened I was so reluctant to allow myself to come to terms with it.
Some of my other friends knew about it before I even did. Some call it rape. But I'm so conflicted. I really love them as friends, but at the same time I don't remember consenting. Not only that but we were all drunk and all made bad decisions. So I don't want to call it the r word or sexual assault, but at the same time I feel assaulted and slightly betrayed.
I just need someone to give me some advice.
He got us these off-brand four-locos that I can't remember the name of, but they had around 13% alcohol to a can and the cans were about he size of a monster can.
I wound up slamming mine because it was so shitty tasting and I was just like 'why not'. I can remember playing truth or dare on her bed. And mind you, I'm very conservative with my body. I hate others seeing it and I am not a sexual person. For me even kissing is weird.
It became our friend B's turn to ask someone and I was asked to take off my shirt. S and A had theirs off already, so I figured 'why not, B is a friend it's whatever'.
From that point on, I guess it was the alcohol that blurred my memory.
The next day I woke up in different clothing, damp hair and a massive hangover.
I was told that A had fingered me. And that I consented to it. But the thing is, I don't remember any of it. It makes me sick to my stomach to even think about it.
I'm still friends with her and everyone who was there. But I just need to know if that was okay or not.
I've never been raped or anything like that before, and hopefully never will. So when that all happened I was so reluctant to allow myself to come to terms with it.
Some of my other friends knew about it before I even did. Some call it rape. But I'm so conflicted. I really love them as friends, but at the same time I don't remember consenting. Not only that but we were all drunk and all made bad decisions. So I don't want to call it the r word or sexual assault, but at the same time I feel assaulted and slightly betrayed.
I just need someone to give me some advice.
