I met a new therapist
- Thread starter Innocent Forever
- Start date
OK I'm sorry if I get this wrong, I've read it a few times.
So firstly I'm worried you've bought 'stuff' I presume you harm yourself and thar you've not told anyone. Totally get it but from an outsider perspective I worry. My thought was just that if you can't trust your therapist with it because things seem not quite established yet, it would probably be a really good idea to let your dr or care coordinator or whoever is in charge of your care know.
Second.. the chsnge of the appointment time. I get you. Change can be hard for all sorts of reasons and to be honest I don't think you need to give a reason. No thar doesn't work for me. Those are the words you need. Maybe this I the discussion you can start with the therapist to start advocating for yourself and building that relationship.
I am wishing you strength
So firstly I'm worried you've bought 'stuff' I presume you harm yourself and thar you've not told anyone. Totally get it but from an outsider perspective I worry. My thought was just that if you can't trust your therapist with it because things seem not quite established yet, it would probably be a really good idea to let your dr or care coordinator or whoever is in charge of your care know.
Second.. the chsnge of the appointment time. I get you. Change can be hard for all sorts of reasons and to be honest I don't think you need to give a reason. No thar doesn't work for me. Those are the words you need. Maybe this I the discussion you can start with the therapist to start advocating for yourself and building that relationship.
I am wishing you strength
So for about 4 years I OD'd daily. About 4 months ago I stopped. This time it seems for real - there were slight periods of time during those 4 years that I stopped. I bought stuff. Buying stuff isn't preparing it. And it isn't taking it. It isn't actually harming myself in any way.
It isn't 'okay' because it's still buying stuff. It isn't actually doing anything.
I was discharged from the CMHT about 8 or 10 months ago (whilst I was doing stuff that could in theory have ended my life. So they say). There is no one. This therapist is the 3rd therapist I've met (privately). The first told me he wasn't qualified. The second was on zoom and wasn't right. I've arranged with the person who recommended her that I'll speak to him after a month. I told him that I tend to blame myself for any red flags so aren't aware of them. And asked him if we could discuss it in a month. He said he thinks he'd pick up from what I say if there are any red flags.
I may tell him. Although there's nothing he can do. Or would do. And he's not a support nor in charge of my care in any way. I am. I have to be.
If I hadn't already told her I could that would be possible. She asked me on Thursday and I told her sure that it wouldn't be a problem for me.
It isn't 'okay' because it's still buying stuff. It isn't actually doing anything.
I was discharged from the CMHT about 8 or 10 months ago (whilst I was doing stuff that could in theory have ended my life. So they say). There is no one. This therapist is the 3rd therapist I've met (privately). The first told me he wasn't qualified. The second was on zoom and wasn't right. I've arranged with the person who recommended her that I'll speak to him after a month. I told him that I tend to blame myself for any red flags so aren't aware of them. And asked him if we could discuss it in a month. He said he thinks he'd pick up from what I say if there are any red flags.
I may tell him. Although there's nothing he can do. Or would do. And he's not a support nor in charge of my care in any way. I am. I have to be.
If I hadn't already told her I could that would be possible. She asked me on Thursday and I told her sure that it wouldn't be a problem for me.
I responded to her:
"Hi
Can you arrange your schedule without me in mind.
And
I'm unsure if this is possible - if you end up having any slots tomorrow night, ask me then?"
I've no idea if what I'm asking is clear or not. I hope she does understand it.
The thought of changing times has thrown me for a loop. When it actually comes to it I won't mind changing - it'll throw me, but I'd rather meet than not. But not if it comes with what it's bringing. I've woken up today just wanting to curl up in bed all day. Been really on edge since she messaged me yesterday about times. To be clear. She asked me on Thursday and I said I was totally okay with changing times. In theory I am!!! It's just - discombobulating more than I expected.
I can't deal with this level of it until then. Especially because meeting her in and of itself will throw me. So I rather not meet than plan to meet at a difference time.
Just breathe. It's okay. Just breathe.
"Hi
Can you arrange your schedule without me in mind.
And
I'm unsure if this is possible - if you end up having any slots tomorrow night, ask me then?"
I've no idea if what I'm asking is clear or not. I hope she does understand it.
The thought of changing times has thrown me for a loop. When it actually comes to it I won't mind changing - it'll throw me, but I'd rather meet than not. But not if it comes with what it's bringing. I've woken up today just wanting to curl up in bed all day. Been really on edge since she messaged me yesterday about times. To be clear. She asked me on Thursday and I said I was totally okay with changing times. In theory I am!!! It's just - discombobulating more than I expected.
I can't deal with this level of it until then. Especially because meeting her in and of itself will throw me. So I rather not meet than plan to meet at a difference time.
Just breathe. It's okay. Just breathe.
Hugs @Innocent Forever 
She didn't understand my message.
I messaged her again
"I meant. Can we leave it that we won't meet for now and see tomorrow night what times on Wednesday you're free and if you aren't we'll leave it for next week."
"-As of now I'm not available 3.30 Wednesday although that may change closer to the time."
There's still too much I can't breathe but less so. I think we just shouldn't meet. I can't deal with how much this has thrown me and I need a break. And it's so stupid. Wrong word. It just - it's so minor and I don't like that I'm thrown so much by something so small. And if we just don't meet, I will have space to breathe. Although I'd like to know her a tad more before I go away. If I even go away in the end. But even if I don't go away, if her summer times are going to constantly be messed up I'm not going to be able to handle it so wouldn't want to see her.
I messaged her again
"I meant. Can we leave it that we won't meet for now and see tomorrow night what times on Wednesday you're free and if you aren't we'll leave it for next week."
"-As of now I'm not available 3.30 Wednesday although that may change closer to the time."
There's still too much I can't breathe but less so. I think we just shouldn't meet. I can't deal with how much this has thrown me and I need a break. And it's so stupid. Wrong word. It just - it's so minor and I don't like that I'm thrown so much by something so small. And if we just don't meet, I will have space to breathe. Although I'd like to know her a tad more before I go away. If I even go away in the end. But even if I don't go away, if her summer times are going to constantly be messed up I'm not going to be able to handle it so wouldn't want to see her.
Sorry this is so hard for you. I get it.
My last therapist at short notice said "Due to family crisis I will no longer be able to offer you any support." Ghosted me and is still a ghost online, one or two profiles still up but to all intents and purposes she doesn't exist. Then again my very first therapist who switched career apparently looked at my LinkedIn profile the other week....
My last therapist at short notice said "Due to family crisis I will no longer be able to offer you any support." Ghosted me and is still a ghost online, one or two profiles still up but to all intents and purposes she doesn't exist. Then again my very first therapist who switched career apparently looked at my LinkedIn profile the other week....