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Ideas & Opinions I need some advice//

#1
Hello. I just need a bit of an opinion on this..

I'm not one for easily making friends. I dont get what about me keeps people away, but I've never had a true friend who would be there for me no matter what.
After years of not having close relationships with anyone, I've finally forged an intimate long distance relationship with somebody.
You see, me and him get along perfectly, and we're also very much alike, and we enjoy each other's company (through phone calls). He has a lot of family and many friends, and often times spends a lot of time with them, which is perfectly fine with me.
My biggest issue here is that because I have nobody to talk to at all, I'm really dependent on his company. I think since being with him, I tend to feel even more lonely than I have before, and I think about him a lot. We often times go into prolonged silences, and I also cant really speak to him about my depression because he seems uncomfortable when I mention it...I feel that having him makes a somehwat positive difference in my life, but at the same time I'm hurting in other ways where I didnt hurt before. I'm not sure if theres something wrong with me, or if this would be normal for someone like me, but I'd like to hear some opinions, and maybe even get some advice? Thanks.
 

1964dodge

When a 1965 Dodge just isn't enough
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#2
I think this could be very positive for you to have this friend. but you have to forge more friends near where you are. maybe extend what you do with this friend to help you make more close to home. there are so many things that you can do to expose yourself to others and form friendships. try to be considerate to others and of course be genuine and yourself and you'll be ok...mike...*console*hug
 

Raven

SFer Attracted By School ๐Ÿ˜‘
#3
*hugI'm sorry you feel like that...not having someone to talk with is really hard and I feel like it too. It's good to have a friends like him - l did make many friends on SF although I haven't meet them IRL. Advice...be kind to your friend and cherish the friendship, and as the friendship developing maybe you'll feel better.:)(not good at offering advice...)
 

Walker

Admin-a-monkey
Staff member
ADMIN
SF Social Media
SF Supporter
#4
Hello there

Sounds like you and this guy are generally okay for each other. Is there a chance you are going to be able to be together? I'm in a LDR right now and gosh is it hard so I feel for you. Nothing is really much harder than trying to navigate the world of lining up times to talk, longing to see each other, coordinating Skype dates and wishing there was more to "do" together to make your time more enjoyable. I think in the end the idea is to actually be together though, right? Otherwise you're both going to end up hurt at the end of the day unless that's a given ahead of time and you both know that's what the end result is, but that doesn't sound like what's going on here.

You say that he's got a lot going on but you're not talking to others. I know it sounds absurd but maybe you should get out and see some people of your own. People who are overly involved with each other don't make the best mates. Trying to have some space and freedom gives you each something to talk about every day. Having different interests and hobbies will also give you both things to relate to and chat about. What is preventing you from seeing others away from him?
 
#5
Hello there

Sounds like you and this guy are generally okay for each other. Is there a chance you are going to be able to be together? I'm in a LDR right now and gosh is it hard so I feel for you. Nothing is really much harder than trying to navigate the world of lining up times to talk, longing to see each other, coordinating Skype dates and wishing there was more to "do" together to make your time more enjoyable. I think in the end the idea is to actually be together though, right? Otherwise you're both going to end up hurt at the end of the day unless that's a given ahead of time and you both know that's what the end result is, but that doesn't sound like what's going on here.

You say that he's got a lot going on but you're not talking to others. I know it sounds absurd but maybe you should get out and see some people of your own. People who are overly involved with each other don't make the best mates. Trying to have some space and freedom gives you each something to talk about every day. Having different interests and hobbies will also give you both things to relate to and chat about. What is preventing you from seeing others away from him?
To be honest? I guess what's really stopping me is my fear of interacting with others since it's ended poorly for me every time I've tried. I want friends, but it seems like nobody's really seeking to be my friend, so I end up shutting myself in and not really trying.
I currently live on campus at my college, and so far since September, I've not made a single friend. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, as I try to engage others but my efforts never get anywhere. My classmates dont speak to me, and even my roommate doesnt even speak to me, so I feel that maybe I'm just unapproachable or just not a good candidate for a "friend". ๐Ÿ˜…
 

Walker

Admin-a-monkey
Staff member
ADMIN
SF Social Media
SF Supporter
#6
Hi again
Making and keeping friends is kind of an art, especially today. People have so much anxiety and introversion around meeting others, as you yourself can see.
You can try to join a group there, a club, anything that interests you. Get involved in anything there in the local community. People who are involved in things that interest them are automatically drawn to others with like interests. You can try to check out meetup dot com and see if anything there strikes you, it's not a dating site but just a place for people who are looking for friends or people to do a one-off thing with.. anything from do a skydive to have dinner to take a dance class together for a few weeks.

P.S. Roommates aren't especially going to jive together. She might be thinking you don't like her either...
 

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