i think my past attempts r embarrassing.

[eliza.afton]

hi. this is my first post here and the reason i made this account in the first place.

in my life ive had 3-4 attempts. all of which were not the most intelligent. meaning like “in hindsight, of course that wouldnt work”
like either things that def wouldnt work at all, or i did it “wrong”.

i wont go into the detail abt what the attempts actually were. but looking back at them makes me feel stupid and embarrassed. i was a teen when i did them all, not a child, so i feel like i cant blame it on being too young to understand. i genuinely feel stupid but i dont wanna feel stupid over this.

but at the times they were all impulsive and not planned out. that makes me feel a little less stupid at least. but still. idk what im rlly looking for here. all ik is not advice. ive already heard ways to try to make me not feel embarrassed anymore. just empathy and compassion ig, like the topic is.

i hate that i feel extreme embarrassment over my attempts.

 

[cardenasii]

Eliza, I just wanted to tell you that I feel the same way about a suicide rehearsal I did that went wrong. I also feel really embarrassed because I was not being very smart about how I was doing it. I think that we were both just hurting so so much and ended up wanting the pain to stop.

 

[may71]

Hello and welcome to SF Eliza

A suicide attempt that doesn't work and doesn't leave you with a permanent disability is the best kind of attempt to have.

A suicide attempt is an expression of extreme pain that takes the form of violence against one's self. It's not really fair to judge yourself for the form that that expression of pain took.