I was having a good day

[LostGirl22]

I was feeling really good about myself after therapy yesterday. i felt really positive and happy for once. I contacted my friends again, I made plans to meet up, I didn't stay locked in my room today, I indulged in sweets. That kind of stuff. Once upon a time they were normal stuff.

But here I am. I can't help but laugh as if it's a sick joke. I've felt the negativity gnawing on my skin, clinging to me like a leech whispering deadly things and wrong ideas. I thought I could hold it off until tomorrow. Until I see my friends at least. But nope, here we are. I feel empty. I purged my dinner again and funny enough even my lunch came out. I found myself watching the calories and chiding myself for wanted a bite of dessert. The smell of vomit fills my nose. I'm now debating on whether or not to cancel the meetup plans due to conflicting schedules.

Reactivating my social media was overwhelming, I saw how much I needed to do and catch up on and how many responsibilities and choices I had to make. It made me spiral down. I feel sick. I feel disgusting. I don't know what to do. I want to see my friends, I want to do my responsibilities, I just... it feels like too much right now. Now I can say that I'm still not ready to go back to school. I can't pull myself into their orbit just yet in fear of crashing into them. I don't know what to do. I just... the urge to die is there again. I wish someone could help me... I wish someone could save me.

 

[sozinho]

I was feeling really good about myself after therapy yesterday. i felt really positive and happy for once. I contacted my friends again, I made plans to meet up, I didn't stay locked in my room today, I indulged in sweets. That kind of stuff. Once upon a time they were normal stuff.

But here I am. I can't help but laugh as if it's a sick joke. I've felt the negativity gnawing on my skin, clinging to me like a leech whispering deadly things and wrong ideas. I thought I could hold it off until tomorrow. Until I see my friends at least. But nope, here we are. I feel empty. I purged my dinner again and funny enough even my lunch came out. I found myself watching the calories and chiding myself for wanted a bite of dessert. The smell of vomit fills my nose. I'm now debating on whether or not to cancel the meetup plans due to conflicting schedules.

Reactivating my social media was overwhelming, I saw how much I needed to do and catch up on and how many responsibilities and choices I had to make. It made me spiral down. I feel sick. I feel disgusting. I don't know what to do. I want to see my friends, I want to do my responsibilities, I just... it feels like too much right now. Now I can say that I'm still not ready to go back to school. I can't pull myself into their orbit just yet in fear of crashing into them. I don't know what to do. I just... the urge to die is there again. I wish someone could help me... I wish someone could save me.

Hi Lostgirl.

 

[LostGirl22]

Hi Lostgirl.

Hello

 

[sozinho]

I was feeling really good about myself after therapy yesterday. i felt really positive and happy for once. I contacted my friends again, I made plans to meet up, I didn't stay locked in my room today, I indulged in sweets. That kind of stuff. Once upon a time they were normal stuff.

But here I am. I can't help but laugh as if it's a sick joke. I've felt the negativity gnawing on my skin, clinging to me like a leech whispering deadly things and wrong ideas. I thought I could hold it off until tomorrow. Until I see my friends at least. But nope, here we are. I feel empty. I purged my dinner again and funny enough even my lunch came out. I found myself watching the calories and chiding myself for wanted a bite of dessert. The smell of vomit fills my nose. I'm now debating on whether or not to cancel the meetup plans due to conflicting schedules.

Reactivating my social media was overwhelming, I saw how much I needed to do and catch up on and how many responsibilities and choices I had to make. It made me spiral down. I feel sick. I feel disgusting. I don't know what to do. I want to see my friends, I want to do my responsibilities, I just... it feels like too much right now. Now I can say that I'm still not ready to go back to school. I can't pull myself into their orbit just yet in fear of crashing into them. I don't know what to do. I just... the urge to die is there again. I wish someone could help me... I wish someone could save me.

It took me a long while thinking what I should say to you. I am always worried about saying the wrong things to anyone online or offline. Sounds like u had a shitty day. I hope my words here can give you some comfort or some distraction.

 

[LostGirl22]

It's okay I understand. I've been in similar situations, don't worry Thank you I appreciate it. I hope you're doing well.

 

[sozinho]

It's okay I understand. I've been in similar situations, don't worry Thank you I appreciate it. I hope you're doing well.

Im trying, thats y i am here at SF. R u feeling a tad better than before? I too can relate to having a good moment now but the next second I feel the negativity. Jus wanna give u a gd hug. Sorry I cant say anything helpful.

 

[JDot]

Thinking genuinely positive can take practice if you're used to thinking negative. During the school year self-care will be very important. It's ok to put your needs first.

 

[LostGirl22]

Im trying, thats y i am here at SF. R u feeling a tad better than before? I too can relate to having a good moment now but the next second I feel the negativity. Jus wanna give u a gd hug. Sorry I cant say anything helpful.

I'm proud of you for reaching out and joining SF Yes I do feel much better thank you very much. I'd hug you as well. It's okay, it's just good to know that someone is here.

 

[LostGirl22]

Thinking genuinely positive can take practice if you're used to thinking negative. During the school year self-care will be very important. It's ok to put your needs first.

Im trying my best but sometimes, okay currently most of the time, it's really hard. I used to be one of those people obsessed with self-care routines and healthy living but before things took a turn for the worse I just found myself having no will to do so. But don't worry Im trying to get back on track little by little.

 

[Nick]

You said you're overwhelmed by all your responsibilities and choices. Sometimes we get super motivated and try to get it all done at once, we make our list. Then we look at the list and think "I don't even know where to start, I can't do all that!" We stop, right there. We don't even get started. One thing I've seen help people is to break that down. Don't try to get it all done at once. Don't look at ALL the things that need doing. If you want to reconnect with people, have coffee with one person. See how it goes. Move forward from there. Instead of trying to refill your social calendar for the next 5 months. Small steps are easier to manage. I head the saying "you eat an elephant one bite at a time", that sounded dumb until I realized you CAN eat an elephant but you can't eat it all at once. Everything you need to do is the elephant. Take it one small step at a time. What do you think?

 

[LostGirl22]

You said you're overwhelmed by all your responsibilities and choices. Sometimes we get super motivated and try to get it all done at once, we make our list. Then we look at the list and think "I don't even know where to start, I can't do all that!" We stop, right there. We don't even get started. One thing I've seen help people is to break that down. Don't try to get it all done at once. Don't look at ALL the things that need doing. If you want to reconnect with people, have coffee with one person. See how it goes. Move forward from there. Instead of trying to refill your social calendar for the next 5 months. Small steps are easier to manage. I head the saying "you eat an elephant one bite at a time", that sounded dumb until I realized you CAN eat an elephant but you can't eat it all at once. Everything you need to do is the elephant. Take it one small step at a time. What do you think?

It sounds very helpful, thank you. But I fear that in the middle of trying I'll give up. That just makes me feel worse because it feels as though the hardwork or building myself up again was for nothing and that I'd have to start from square one again.

 

[Nick]

It sounds very helpful, thank you. But I fear that in the middle of trying I'll give up. That just makes me feel worse because it feels as though the hardwork or building myself up again was for nothing and that I'd have to start from square one again.

That's the beauty of small steps. You don't get one done one day, and you move it to the next. You don't need to start over completely. Some days we just can't manage what we set out to. Write it down, track it. You can see your accomplishments. I get it's frustrating on days or weeks you don't accomplish what you wanted. It's not easy to get there.

 

[LostGirl22]

That's the beauty of small steps. You don't get one done one day, and you move it to the next. You don't need to start over completely. Some days we just can't manage what we set out to. Write it down, track it. You can see your accomplishments. I get it's frustrating on days or weeks you don't accomplish what you wanted. It's not easy to get there.

Thank you nick I'll try to remember that. It isn't easy really... but i'll try.