im 16, n my entire life has been misery does life ever get better

[imsounloveable]

hi, im a 16 year old female. my childhood was horrific at best, my mum abused me for 9 years n got arrested n abandoned me pretty much, barely speaks to me n js keeps reporting me to social services to get my dad in trouble n then my dad gets mad at me my dad turned to drugs, leaving me to be neglected, living in mold filled rooms (like i am right now), steal, fall into drugs myself n get into abusive relationships for validation. ive been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, so not only are my familial relationships horrific my romantic relationships might even be worse. i get so mean in relationships n i js cant help it, one of my exes wrote a four page letter basically js telling me how much of a **** i am n how i should js get it over with, my other ex hates me n cant even bear to be in the same room as me which breaks my fucking heart n i miss him so much it makes my skin crawl. social services never leave my house just today they came n accused my dad of being a drug dealer (which is true but there was unsubstantial evidence it was basically js my mothers word against me n his) n this isnt js a one time thing, social services are called to my house atleast once a month n after they leave my dad screams at me, my mother also told me today she wants nothing to do with me, my dad also has bee n giving my 14-16 year old friends drugs, making them do drug runs for him which gives me just such a bad reputation n i get made fun of for having a junkie dad, my ex boyfriends parents hate me n spread rumours about him because he gave my ex drugs when he was 15, from 9-11 i was pretty much raised by my aunt n uncle js for them to abandon me like mum, i dont go to school im not even homeschooled i js.. dont go. i dont leave my house.. like at all. i havent left my bed in 2 weeks. it never gets better, im stuck. i have no friends, no social life, no love life, no family life. im so fucking done with it all, theres no fixing it. n anytime i think maybe js maybe life wont fuck me in the ass n let me happy for once it js fucks me once again. i dont know what else to do anymore, i really dont know anymore. like when my ex came into my life, i thought yeah maybe aslong as i have him ill be okay. but no, he left too. everyone leaves me, im so young bro. im a fuckin kid bro im sixteen years old how is it fair? i never had anyone to teach me how to deal with this stuff n i cant tell my social worker everything thats going on because my dad guilt trips me , i found a note he wrote me n it said ‘my mary (my name) the best little girl, i wonder what her adult brain will look like? probably grow up to be in a mental hospital, an alcoholic, dead or a drug addict like her dad” n tbh hes not far off the mental hospital n drug addict bit. i js dont know what to do anymore, i cant relax im stuck in fight or flight all the time n constantly fucking constantly sad. this is no life for a child or anyone for that matter. so my question is, is this js life for everyone? constant bad things? like for every 20 bad things u get maybe one good thing? or am i just having a rough patch, for my dad it was the same he had a bad childhood teenage hood n an even worse adulthood n im scared that will be me too he says it will n im terrified, will it get better?

 

[Oizys Moros]

imsounlovable

It unfortunate that dysfunction is rampant in family history. It is a perpetual cycle. Sometimes an anomaly occurs and one breaks the generational curse of bad habits and bad decisions.

You are fortunate that you recognize this and desire for better.

Small milestones can birth a pattern of successful goals.

Maybe find something positive and healthy that you are passionate about and allow yourself
to enjoy that pleasure in small increments then delve deeper into it as you build your self esteem self awareness and self love.

Don’t condemn yourself when you fall short or have an unproductive time.

This community is rooting for your growth healing and successes. We are here to support you during triumphs and challenges.

I truly hope that you start having joyful moments more and more. I wish you the best in exploring and discovering new normals.

Also, sometimes helping others help us heal. Like reading to primary school children. Visiting senior citizens home to talk with them brush their hair, eat jello with… You may be amazed at how those minuscule moments impacts someone’s life.

I’m just suggesting being in an environment where you are adored and appreciated.

You will find that you are so lovable !!!!

 

[Lara_C]

It seems you need a lot more support than youre getting. Maybe supported accommodation for young people is something you could find out more about ? Your social worker should be able to give you info about providers in your area. There's also the Foyers Federation which may be able to give you contact details for Foyers in your area which provide multiple supports including accommodation for 16-25 year olds who cannot live at home: Foyers Federation

 

[may71]

im sixteen years old how is it fair?

It's not the least bit fair. Life has horrors and miseries, and it has beauty and joys. You've just been getting more than your fair share of the bad parts.

will it get better?

It certainly can get better, but you've got to make the best decisions you can make to get onto a better path. Also, BPD is something that tends to get better with time.

I could try to offer some advice and opinions about getting onto a better path, but you haven't asked for those things, so I'll hold off for now.

 

[robertjames123]

A very powerful story.

 

[MagickLynx]

It can get better but you need to be able to cut contact with the people harming you. My own life got better for while then worse then better then it all went to hell, that's where I'm at now but if I'd listened to my instincts and refused to trust bad people I'd probably have a good life right now. Don't give up, you are so young. There are good things to live for once you get rid of bad people.

 

[Anchorchain]

I think it can get better and you need to save your own life. Going back to school would be a good start. Do that and finish it by graduating.
Think of some occupation, a job that's doable and prepare for it.
Your parents seem to be an example of what not to do.
Do not develop a substance usage habit.
Believe in yourself that you're a person of value and you have control over what kind of person you want to be.

 

[Ineluki]

I always shorten people's names on here, so is it OK if I call you "Lovable" like Oizys Moros did?

At almost 60 years old, I can tell you that luck will play no part in what happens to you. "like for every 20 bad things u get maybe one good thing? " Nope. One would think it works that way, but sadly it does not.

I agree with the other replies here that you shouldn't give up, that you need to find good people with whom to "hang," and that you should finish school and determine a career for yourself.

One thing to add to this list may turn out as the most important advice: Whatever you do in life, be your own advocate! If the doctors have diagnosed you as borderline, the process hasn't stopped there. Don't fear standing up to them and demanding the absolute best treatment they can offer. If you feel like they want to shuffle you out the door, stand your ground. Politely but firmly tell them "no, you need to do better by me. I need your help right now."

The same thing would apply to your father. He needs to do a lot better by you than he has.

Your mother, aunt and uncle are out of your life? Please don't think it has anything to do with you. They made bad decisions that says a lot about their character.

Exes always suck. Yours seem to have taken advantage of your situation.

I tell you all this because I wish someone had told me the same thing. When my own parents got in violent fights (like the time my mom clocked my dad with a frying pan) I internalized it. In fact, during all of the trauma I went through, I didn't think that I had a right to speak up for myself.

It won't prove an easy path. You will have to fight to get out of this situation. But if you do, it WILL get better. You WILL feel better for having done so.