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I'm still suicidal

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I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder about two years ago and now my psychiatrist said I'm also bipolar. He prescribed Sodium Valproate and I think it does help in stabilizing my moods. I can control my urge to cut myself. But now I feel down most of the time. I feel empty and nothing I do gives me any sense of satisfaction. Everyday I wake up disappointed that I'm still breathing, that I have to get up and try to go through another day and do things that do not make sense to me. Things have been very busy at school these days and it keeps my mind off how I'm going to kill myself. But it's still there, at the back of my head. If I stop memorizing and studying, it goes back on. The only thing stopping me is the fear that I will fail again and live with the consequences. It may sound selfish but this life is like a void and it takes me everything just to live one day after another. I just turned 20 today but it doesn't matter.
Have you been in therapy at all? I've heard that DBT is supposed to work well for BPD.

I want to wish you a happy birthday, but I don't know if it would seem improper since you are feeling suicidal.
I want you to know that you are a blessing and not a burden. I know you feel alone and hope is small and fleeting, but I want you to know that your family would be devastated if you committed suicide. The world needs you. There will only ever be one of you and if that is taken away then the world would lose one more person that it needed. Life is beautiful don't let the world make you bitter and cold. You might be confused dealing with these confusing feelings I encourage you to talk to someone you trust. Don't isolate yourself and think your alone with no where to go. If you struggle with finding someone to talk to you can always contact a hopecoach via chat or phone just google thehopeline or you can message me. I am always here for you. I know your heart is aching and you feel alone.
-praying for you
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