I'm worried about being alone

My roommate just told me I have 2 months to move out and find my own place to live. I'm up for the challenge of it, but I'm so f***ing afraid of being alone. She literately just told me this minutes ago, and the first thing that came to my mind is how no one will talk to me, how I won't see another person who I trust and care for.
Then, immediately after, my mind went from that to "If I'm all alone, no one would even notice if I was dead"
I've managed to push suicide out of my mind time and time again, but I'm really worried that my lack of a social life will end up costing me dearly. I want to live, but I don't want to live alone..

 

Hi and welcome to SF Klaus. I dont think many if us wish to spend our lives alone. We are socialable creatures.

Are you sharing right now? If so, then you can do the same again. I flat/appartment shared until my mid 20's, there was always somewhere to rent. I lived in some real dives mind. But you dont need to be alone if you take that route.

Much of the time, avoiding suicide attempts mean having a support network that you can call upon in times of crisis. This network consists of people, places, items that mean something to you and can help you. I use Distraction techniques because I have found they work well for me. Right now, I have my phones on listening to music [The Cult: Sanctuary just came on, lovin it] and it means i dont hear the little voice in my head. I am typing this so not thinking about anything else. Thats what works for me. Tomorrow I go to group therapy, thats a part of my network. So you need to get to work thinking about how you can build your own network so its there in the future if you need it. If you need any help or advice trying to do that, please just ask.

 

I'm a withdrawn person, I can't socialize well. I always feel like there's an anchor on my chest when I try to socialize, and it weighs me down from bringing up topics to get to know people. I've been single for 4 years because of this, and it just seems like getting a new roommate seems impossible.

 

Seems impossible, but ISN'T impossible, there's a difference. You dont need to socialise will, you just need to socialise. The rest will follow. Little steps, small goals, thats the way to beat this.