Is it worth killing myself over this?

[JackSmith]

My brother, I am an attorney, and I practice in criminal defense, among other fields. THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. She is not motivated to "toot and tell" because she would be confessing to prostitution, which if not illegal in your jurisdiction (as it is in mine), is still a public Scarlet Letter. Do no worry about prosecution. These transactions by and large remain silent, because the parties need and want them to be.

 

[Mansinned]

for you. You have learned from this mistake, that is all that matters at this stage.

I didn't think i'd say this here but here goes nothing, men have done A LOT worse to me, a loooot worse and he was not even convicted even though i reported it. I was only 12 when it happened, yeah, he raped and molested me and now i have post traumatic stress disorder from the incident. It sucks but the only way is forward. I have to move on and not let it affect me.

I thin you need to try and relax and let this issue pass, we're here for you no matter what.

Thanks @Petal. I read your thread. Must be painful to have went through that experience at a young age where someone exploited you for their own gains. I'm not sure if what I had with the girl was near this but the difference in our situation was like day and night. She wasn't forced uponed and wanted to do it (not sure why) and then yours where you were not even aware of the situation at all and not even wanting that sort of attention.

Back than it was harder to track but in this age, with the Internet, cctv, mobile phones, people are easily tracked just for conversing with each other.

But in all, you went through a difficult experience that wasn't so good to begin with. I will pray for your speedy recovery. As for me, we will see if things happen.

But learning from it is the key regardless if I get caught or not

 

[Mansinned]

My brother, I am an attorney, and I practice in criminal defense, among other fields. THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. She is not motivated to "toot and tell" because she would be confessing to prostitution, which if not illegal in your jurisdiction (as it is in mine), is still a public Scarlet Letter. Do no worry about prosecution. These transactions by and large remain silent, because the parties need and want them to be.

What if she was working on her own? As far as I know, she didn't have a pimp because her charges were low. To add, it looks like initially she only wanted it to be sex without money involved but has since charged them.

What she did was prostitution but like the law states she won't be held responsible because she's underaged. They will side on her for not being mature enough and castrate me for being the sexual predator because I am an adult.

Basically she gets away with everything even if her actions suggests that she wanted it, she's fine with it and she doesn't care what happens to other men as long as the judge are there to protect her because of her age.

 

[Petal]

Thanks @Petal. I read your thread. Must be painful to have went through that experience at a young age where someone exploited you for their own gains. I'm not sure if what I had with the girl was near this but the difference in our situation was like day and night. She wasn't forced uponed and wanted to do it (not sure why) and then yours where you were not even aware of the situation at all and not even wanting that sort of attention
Back than it was harder to track but in this age, with the Internet, cctv, mobile phones, people are easily tracked just for conversing with each other.

But in all, you went through a difficult experience that wasn't so good to begin with. I will pray for your speedy recovery. As for me, we will see if things happen.

But learning from it is the key regardless if I get caught or not

Thank you. The point in me posting that was just so you could see there's very little chance of you being caught in your own situation. It will be 5 days tomorrow for you, i don't think you have to worry any longer. Try to relax and chill. Listen to what everyone has said here, no-one thinks a one time mistake will land you in prison. And also, she may have been using her own contraception.

Put it into the past, its history and you have learned your lesson

 

[Mansinned]

Thank you. The point in me posting that was just so you could see there's very little chance of you being caught in your own situation. It will be 5 days tomorrow for you, i don't think you have to worry any longer. Try to relax and chill. Listen to what everyone has said here, no-one thinks a one time mistake will land you in prison. And also, she may have been using her own contraception.

Put it into the past, its history and you have learned your lesson

Ive come to terms with myself. I've learned my lesson from that traumatic experience. I'm only thinking about going with my days and try to relax off it. Im eating and feel better by the support from the people in this forum. I read their messages everyday to remind myself I'm not a monster but a human being. We all made choices. We live but our actions but best of all, that what's makes us unique.

Although the stomach pains and anxiety hasnt subside, I feel a lot better just from reading the replies here.

 

[Mansinned]

Hey yall... Just an update. Its been a week. I have since been better. But is it normal not to go back immediately into your normal routine? I don't feel like doing anything besides lying down in bed and the thought of doing work, walking around, playing music games etc just screams guilt? I can't seem to do the things that I enjoyed. Every time I open a music or watched a movie, I feel like total shit because it reminded me of the what ifs. It's like I'm unable to just rest and shrugg it off. Something is still weighing me down. Help me

 

[Auri]

Hey yall... Just an update. Its been a week. I have since been better. But is it normal not to go back immediately into your normal routine? I don't feel like doing anything besides lying down in bed and the thought of doing work, walking around, playing music games etc just screams guilt? I can't seem to do the things that I enjoyed. Every time I open a music or watched a movie, I feel like total shit because it reminded me of the what ifs. It's like I'm unable to just rest and shrugg it off. Something is still weighing me down. Help me

You need to take some rest, as well as mental rest. But doing these activities can do precisely that : let your mind go elsewhere than these recurrent thoughts. The motivation is not here, that is how depression works, and it's better not to feed this illness by not doing anything. Lying in bed feels good, but the more you do it, the harder it will get to actually get up from it and do other things, you know. Start with one activity for some time, try to do it no matter how much you want to stay in bed. Then add another one, slowly, and it will get better. Motivation comes from doing, not from avoiding doing it, unfortunately :/
What about you write us your thoughts here, but then, once you leave the forum, you also leave these thoughts here, and you try to focus on your activities, other important things, on taking care of yourself.