My therapist says my suicidal thoughts are intrusive but I'm not sure I agree. She says they show up when I don't want them to. Which is true because I never want to have suicidal thoughts but I do want to die. If I want to die I don't understand how the thoughts are intrusive. It seems more like cause and effect. Was my therapist's response normal? It seems like she isn't fazed by anything I say anymore.
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Empathy and Advice Welcomed Issue with therapist
- Thread starter cev77
- Start date
- Tags intrusive thoughts suicidal thoughts therapy
An effective therapist helps the client connect the whys of what may cause the anguish and SI.
Therapist are human and to err is human. But a continuous pattern of insensitivity to the client is IMO not a good therapist.
If you feel misunderstood, belittled, or if their assessment is not explained to where you can understand their viewpoint accompanied by coping mechanisms, I would conclude that their response is not normal. And if they aren’t fazed by your expressions, it could be that you have outgrown one another.
My therapist would tell me that her job is to get me to a level of self awareness and understanding where I no longer require her services. That I am able to solve circumstances independent of her input.
It could be that it is time for you to seek out a different therapist who may have a different perspective and approach to your mental health healing.
I sincerely hope that you connect with a therapist with whom the rapport is mutual and also that you get to a point where SI is less frequent.
I wish you the best in determining what is best for you. Change can be good for growth.
Therapist are human and to err is human. But a continuous pattern of insensitivity to the client is IMO not a good therapist.
If you feel misunderstood, belittled, or if their assessment is not explained to where you can understand their viewpoint accompanied by coping mechanisms, I would conclude that their response is not normal. And if they aren’t fazed by your expressions, it could be that you have outgrown one another.
My therapist would tell me that her job is to get me to a level of self awareness and understanding where I no longer require her services. That I am able to solve circumstances independent of her input.
It could be that it is time for you to seek out a different therapist who may have a different perspective and approach to your mental health healing.
I sincerely hope that you connect with a therapist with whom the rapport is mutual and also that you get to a point where SI is less frequent.
I wish you the best in determining what is best for you. Change can be good for growth.
@Oizys Moros Makes sense, thank you!
I’m not sure if this is the same as what you’re describing, but I’ve had the experience in the past of feeling deeply depressed and in emotional pain, and feeling this almost compulsive draw to the suicidal thoughts as a result. The thoughts can feel intrusive, because I’m aware that I don’t want to have them, but I also know they’re a natural result of being in so much distress.
I often found when I tried to describe that experience to my therapists at the time, it left them a little confused about whether I was truly suicidal or experiencing intrusive, OCD-like thoughts about suicide. I knew I was suicidal because I was having intense depression symptoms and was starting to make plans to act on those thoughts, but I also deeply wished I wasn’t feeling that way and therefore wasn’t having those thoughts, if that makes sense.
I don’t have any wise advice in navigating that situation, I’m afraid, but I hope it helps to know you’re not alone!
I often found when I tried to describe that experience to my therapists at the time, it left them a little confused about whether I was truly suicidal or experiencing intrusive, OCD-like thoughts about suicide. I knew I was suicidal because I was having intense depression symptoms and was starting to make plans to act on those thoughts, but I also deeply wished I wasn’t feeling that way and therefore wasn’t having those thoughts, if that makes sense.
I don’t have any wise advice in navigating that situation, I’m afraid, but I hope it helps to know you’re not alone!
@CrossedSeas Thank you for sharing that. I relate somewhat. Yes, I definitely am in a lot of distress.
Sorry for the late reply here.
Intrusive thoughts happen to me in this way: I am doing something, say crocheting or knitting and suddenly I start thinking "I am going to kill myself" "I am going to die in X way" whereas in the minutes/hours before I hadn't been thinking that way. I then shake that off, continue to do my project then a few minutes/hour/hours later the thoughts are back.
This is different than non stop suicidal ideation, where it is at the forefront of my mind 24/7.
I don't know if sharing this helps, so feel free to disregard if not helpful.
Intrusive thoughts happen to me in this way: I am doing something, say crocheting or knitting and suddenly I start thinking "I am going to kill myself" "I am going to die in X way" whereas in the minutes/hours before I hadn't been thinking that way. I then shake that off, continue to do my project then a few minutes/hour/hours later the thoughts are back.
This is different than non stop suicidal ideation, where it is at the forefront of my mind 24/7.
I don't know if sharing this helps, so feel free to disregard if not helpful.