Dante

Git
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#1
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Welcome one and all to Jim's Café, the sanctuary for the long suffering sane from the madness of the modern world.

Hello you beautiful people. Yes if you are reading this I mean you. It has been too long since I hijacked this particular corner of the forum, and too many days since a Cafe has been posted, so I figured it was high time I drag my arse down here and open up shop. As usual I have hopped on daysoftheyear.com to find topics to discuss and found the following: It is International Men's Day, World Toilet Day, Have a Bad Day Day, Play Monopoly Day, Carbonated Beverage Day and Road Safety Week.

Anyone of you who still cares to think back a few months will know that under my management the Cafe has multiple tables each with their own menu of questions so there is a table for everyone (and multiple tables for those who want to try everything). Feel free to answer one or all or do a table or two and come back for more later, the cafes dont go away.

Without Further ado, the Music:

Fun Facts
Today we have 3 tables and a strange portal at the back for some reason? But before that, lets have some fun facts shall we? In honour of world toilet day, they are ALL about toilets! ^^
1) The first patent for the modern flushing toilet was secured by Englishman Alexander Cumming in 1775. Youre welcome world :D
2) In public toilets, the first toilet cubicle is usually the least used, which also means it is usually the cleanest.
3) England’s King George II died in 1760 after falling off his toilet.
4) Studies show the amount of time spent on a toilet is directly proportional to the number of features the toilet’s user has on his or her smartphone.
5) The most expensive toilet ever constructed took approximately $20million to develop and sits in the International Space Station, beating the earth-bound champion (the Hang Fung Golden Toilet) by $15million!


The Tables:

The Welcome Table
A table of increasingly random questions to break the ice, this is aimed more at newbies so PLEASE invite some.
1) How long have you been on the forum?
2) If you wrote a Autobiography, what would you call it?
3) What pet peeve would you make illegal if you could?
4) Has anyone here ever successfully licked their elbow?
5) If you could paint the moon a different colour, which would it be? (patterns like tartan and burberry are also acceptable answers)

The Bad Day Table
A table for all those bad days we have so CLEARLY had to end up here. But remember to keep it light if you can.
1) What petty irritant ALWAYS sets you off down the path to having a bad day?
2) Whats the worst date you have ever been on?
3) How far into lockdown did you get before reaching "Fuck this shit"?
4) What is your least favourite day of the week?
5) What day started bad and then was saved?

The "Its Not Christmas Yet So Put Down the Decorations and Walk Away" Table

A table for all those who are annoyed at how early christmas seems to come every year (I swear it started in October this year...)
1) When did you see the first signs of Christmas and was it WAY too early?
2) When SHOULD the christmas hype begin?
3) When did you (or will you) begin christmas shopping?
4) Have you heard of Whamageddon and if so, do you play?
5) What is the best christmas present you ever received? (Or worst if it is funny)


The Strange Portal
(Hats off to JohnDoen for inspiring this portal with his ever interesting Cafes)
As you step into the portal you are confronted with a small pommeranian with a goatee and a wisened look on its adorable face. It offers you a deal. Any 1 wish for an appropriate sacrifice.
The wish can be anything, from happiness to love to money to all weekends being 3 days, to getting time to repaint the walls to eternally removing One Direction from the public consciousness.
The sacrifice can be anything in your life you value, a memory or memories, a talent, a job, money, a relationship, the ability to taste coffee, anything you feel has enough value for the wise Pomeranian to take the deal.
1) What is your 1 wish?
2) What do you offer as sacrifice?
3) Do you think the Pomranian will accept?

The Bar
A friendly place for those who just want to say hi.
1) Say Hi.
2) Say something else.

The Recruitment Desk

Its simple, spread the Cafes far and wide. TAG PEOPLE! As many as you can/want, especially newcomers to the forum! The more the merrier. I dont want to see a post without a tag! ^^

@arbitrarybarry @Auri @Harrow @Somebody Else @Starry Starry Night @Walker @Lux @Freya
 

Witty_Sarcasm

🦄🦜🧁🌈🌝💖
SF Supporter
#6
The Welcome Table
A table of increasingly random questions to break the ice, this is aimed more at newbies so PLEASE invite some.
1) How long have you been on the forum?
Almost 10 years now.

2) If you wrote a Autobiography, what would you call it?
A Life of Errors.

3) What pet peeve would you make illegal if you could?
I don't know, because a lot of things are actually annoying.

4) Has anyone here ever successfully licked their elbow?
Not quite that flexible.

5) If you could paint the moon a different colour, which would it be? (patterns like tartan and burberry are also acceptable answers)
Blue...like a blue moon :P


The Bad Day Table
A table for all those bad days we have so CLEARLY had to end up here. But remember to keep it light if you can.

1) What petty irritant ALWAYS sets you off down the path to having a bad day?
Loud noises.

2) Whats the worst date you have ever been on?
Never been asked on a date before.

3) How far into lockdown did you get before reaching "Fuck this shit"?
I didn't because I don't get out much. Now that I actually have Covid, it's getting to me more.

4) What is your least favourite day of the week?
Monday

5) What day started bad and then was saved?
I don't know, this week has sucked.

The "Its Not Christmas Yet So Put Down the Decorations and Walk Away" Table
A table for all those who are annoyed at how early christmas seems to come every year (I swear it started in October this year...)

1) When did you see the first signs of Christmas and was it WAY too early?
Before Halloween and maybe.

2) When SHOULD the christmas hype begin?
Like maybe around this time.

3) When did you (or will you) begin christmas shopping?
I don't need to buy for anyone.

4) Have you heard of Whamageddon and if so, do you play?
Yes, my friend loves that song. lol

5) What is the best christmas present you ever received? (Or worst if it is funny)
Not sure, peoples friendship means a lot to me.


The Strange Portal
(Hats off to JohnDoen for inspiring this portal with his ever interesting Cafes)
As you step into the portal you are confronted with a small pommeranian with a goatee and a wisened look on its adorable face. It offers you a deal. Any 1 wish for an appropriate sacrifice.
The wish can be anything, from happiness to love to money to all weekends being 3 days, to getting time to repaint the walls to eternally removing One Direction from the public consciousness.
The sacrifice can be anything in your life you value, a memory or memories, a talent, a job, money, a relationship, the ability to taste coffee, anything you feel has enough value for the wise Pomeranian to take the deal.

1) What is your 1 wish?
To be a successful filmmaker.

2) What do you offer as sacrifice?
My soul, if I have one anymore.

3) Do you think the Pomranian will accept?
I sure hope so. lol
 

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
#9
The Welcome Table
A table of increasingly random questions to break the ice, this is aimed more at newbies so PLEASE invite some.
1) How long have you been on the forum?
Since 2018
2) If you wrote a Autobiography, what would you call it?
I am lǎoshī
3) What pet peeve would you make illegal if you could?
What? 🥺
4) Has anyone here ever successfully licked their elbow?
Yuck
5) If you could paint the moon a different colour, which would it be? (patterns like tartan and burberry are also acceptable answers)
Blue 😺

The Bad Day Table
A table for all those bad days we have so CLEARLY had to end up here. But remember to keep it light if you can.
1) What petty irritant ALWAYS sets you off down the path to having a bad day?
When someone couldnt even do a simple job
2) Whats the worst date you have ever been on?
nahhh
3) How far into lockdown did you get before reaching "Fuck this shit"?
no difference
4) What is your least favourite day of the week?
no difference
5) What day started bad and then was saved?
everyday is a challenge for me, I'd try to minimise that
 

Innocent Forever

🐒🥜🍌
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#10
The Welcome Table
A table of increasingly random questions to break the ice, this is aimed more at newbies so PLEASE invite some.
1) How long have you been on the forum?
2) If you wrote a Autobiography, what would you call it?
3) What pet peeve would you make illegal if you could?
4) Has anyone here ever successfully licked their elbow?
5) If you could paint the moon a different colour, which would it be? (patterns like tartan and burberry are also acceptable answers)
1. I've been on the forum for I think about 5 years. I joined around the same time as @nobodyknows71 @Ash600 @Kira @Walker and not sure who else.
2. My autobiography is open to suggestion titles.
3. I'd make it illegal to talk about others.
4. haha nope.
5. Teal.


) 1.What is your 1 wish?
2) What do you offer as sacrifice?
3) Do you think the Pomranian will accept
1. World serenity
2. Myself
3. No


The Bar
A friendly place for those who just want to say hi.
1) Say Hi.
2) Say something else.
Hi!
Hi
Hi
Hi
Hi


I love Dante taking over what at one point was my role. And I love this cafe.

Saying hi and if you're brave enough to say hello to my diary and other friends @Holding my breath @Charliex8 @Lonely85 @Sunspots @sinking_ship @TIWIADIFI @Champagne

I'd tag more but more than 10 tags don't work. Unless that's changed

png_20211119_124600_0000.png
 

Kiwi2016

🦩 Now a flamingo, not a kiwi 🦩
SF Pro
#12
Thanks for opening @Dante and for the tag @Innocent Forever ...


The Welcome Table
A table of increasingly random questions to break the ice, this is aimed more at newbies so PLEASE invite some.
1) How long have you been on the forum?
Since 2016

2) If you wrote a Autobiography, what would you call it?
A life of ups, downs, and blind curves...

3) What pet peeve would you make illegal if you could?
Tail gaiting

4) Has anyone here ever successfully licked their elbow?
Nope

5) If you could paint the moon a different colour, which would it be? (patterns like tartan and burberry are also acceptable answers)
Lavender


The Bad Day Table
A table for all those bad days we have so CLEARLY had to end up here. But remember to keep it light if you can.
1) What petty irritant ALWAYS sets you off down the path to having a bad day?
Oversleeping

2) Whats the worst date you have ever been on?
Strange but have never been on an official date

3) How far into lockdown did you get before reaching "Fuck this shit"?
I'm about there now..

4) What is your least favourite day of the week?
Monday

5) What day started bad and then was saved?
Thought had mad a mistake at work and then realized that it was ok

The "Its Not Christmas Yet So Put Down the Decorations and Walk Away" Table
A table for all those who are annoyed at how early christmas seems to come every year (I swear it started in October this year...)
1) When did you see the first signs of Christmas and was it WAY too early?
About a week before Halloween

2) When SHOULD the christmas hype begin?
After Thanksgiving

3) When did you (or will you) begin christmas shopping?
Just really husband and 3 co-workers so starting to contemplate ideas now

4) Have you heard of Whamageddon and if so, do you play?
Not a clue...

5) What is the best christmas present you ever received? (Or worst if it is funny)
Best as a very young child my parents made the fully decorated tree and presents appear on Christmas morning... Worst has to be horrid sweaters from well meaning great aunts as a teenager which had to wear when they came to visit


The Strange Portal
(Hats off to JohnDoen for inspiring this portal with his ever interesting Cafes)
As you step into the portal you are confronted with a small pommeranian with a goatee and a wisened look on its adorable face. It offers you a deal. Any 1 wish for an appropriate sacrifice.
The wish can be anything, from happiness to love to money to all weekends being 3 days, to getting time to repaint the walls to eternally removing One Direction from the public consciousness.
The sacrifice can be anything in your life you value, a memory or memories, a talent, a job, money, a relationship, the ability to taste coffee, anything you feel has enough value for the wise Pomeranian to take the deal.
1) What is your 1 wish?
Personally to be able to retire with no financial impact .... For the greater good for all to treat this earth and all the peoples on it as we should with respect, dignity and understanding

2) What do you offer as sacrifice?
Personally - quit smoking.... For the greater good get out of my own silo of day to day life and allocate time to become an active advocate for change

3) Do you think the Pomranian will accept?
Personally probably not .... For the greater good maybe(?)

Wishing all a great Friday---we have almost made it to the weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tagging @bergeraac @Shadowlands @JMG @Lane @Butterfly @Kira @Innocent Forever @Blue Star @BlueGreen
 

Livelife

SF Supporter
#13
Thank you for the tag @Innocent Forever and @Dante. And for the cafe....

Just to add to what's being celebrated today, it's also the Blood Full Moon and Guru Nanak's birthday and Dev Dewali Day:)

The moon got "painted" intense red for over an hour about 8 hours ago, it was spectacular!

I would want putting out Christmas decoration by anyone anywhere illegalized for the months of September and October. And this year I saw decoration and product on the shelves in September and heard Christmas music being piped in October. Ooof*blue To me it takes away from engaging in the holiday spirit which I thought was what it used to be about.

I used to could lick my elbows.

I would sacrifice all my clothes for the climate to behave again and all that that entails. The dog may or may not be interested.
 
Last edited:

Holding my breath

SF Pro
SF Supporter
#14
1. I've been on the forum for I think about 5 years. I joined around the same time as @nobodyknows71 @Ash600 @Kira @Walker and not sure who else.
2. My autobiography is open to suggestion titles.
3. I'd make it illegal to talk about others.
4. haha nope.
5. Teal.



1. World serenity
2. Myself
3. No



Hi!
Hi
Hi
Hi
Hi


I love Dante taking over what at one point was my role. And I love this cafe.

Saying hi and if you're brave enough to say hello to my diary and other friends @Holding my breath @Charliex8 @Lonely85 @Sunspots @sinking_ship @TIWIADIFI @Champagne

I'd tag more but more than 10 tags don't work. Unless that's changed

View attachment 49056
*hug Xx
 

Ash600

Of dust and shadows
SF Creative
SF Supporter
#15
1) How long have you been on the forum?
Around 4 yrs

2) If you wrote a Autobiography, what would you call it?
Nothing To See Here

3) What pet peeve would you make illegal if you could?
Lol, too many to choose from. Perhaps bison wrestling on a Sunday afternoon?

4) Has anyone here ever successfully licked their elbow?
Not that I know of. Though I've just tried it and came pretty damn close.

5) If you could paint the moon a different colour, which would it be? (patterns like tartan and burberry are also acceptable answers)
Jet black with flecks of gold. Failing that, some form of renaissance art adorning the side facing towards us.

The Bad Day Table
A table for all those bad days we have so CLEARLY had to end up here. But remember to keep it light if you can.
1) What petty irritant ALWAYS sets you off down the path to having a bad day?
Getting up?

2) Whats the worst date you have ever been on?
The one where she didn't approve of me smoking, drinking or eating meat. Was over in minutes. She went back home, I went back into the bar.

3) How far into lockdown did you get before reaching "Fuck this shit"?
Never got to that stage

4) What is your least favourite day of the week?
Monday. -- Get that shit out the way then as far as I'm concerned the weekend has started.


The "Its Not Christmas Yet So Put Down the Decorations and Walk Away" Table
A table for all those who are annoyed at how early christmas seems to come every year (I swear it started in October this year...)
1) When did you see the first signs of Christmas and was it WAY too early?
Two weeks ago when one of the nearby residents, a dude known as "Toilethead Jackson" decided to adorn the whole of his front driveway with shitloads of illuminated Christmas themed decorations. Every year he does this, it looks like Vegas on dope.

2) When SHOULD the christmas hype begin?
Preferably never

3) When did you (or will you) begin christmas shopping?
Fuck that, I'm no longer get involved in that shitshow. I prefer to hand over some cash, saying "merry xmas, buy what you want now phack off and shut the door behind you."

4) Have you heard of Whamageddon and if so, do you play?
Yes to the first part. No to the second.

5) What is the best christmas present you ever received? (Or worst if it is funny)
An easter egg.
 

Holding my breath

SF Pro
SF Supporter
#16
Hi everyone, it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to come in to the café but it’s really lovely to be here and, as always, I love @Dante ’s cafes. Brilliant piece of trivia to know that the amount of time spent on the toilet is proportional to the number of apps on your phone. 🤣🤣

Heading to the Welcome Table.........

The Welcome Table
A table of increasingly random questions to break the ice, this is aimed more at newbies so PLEASE invite some.
1) How long have you been on the forum?
I joined approx. 17 months ago and have met some amazing people and made some great friends. This place has, in all honesty, saved my life and will always be a special place to visit.

2) If you wrote a Autobiography, what would you call it?
This is a difficult question, perhaps 'Surviving the Reality of Life, Warts and All' I know everyone here probably feels the same way but it does feel as if I have been thrown far more curve balls during my life than some, but then probably not as many as others. I know it is very subjective and we are always told not to compare but that's not as easy as it sounds.

3) What pet peeve would you make illegal if you could?
If anyone puts pineapple on pizza here I, for one, will be very offended! *rofl After a rather frustrating drive home I am going to say driving more than 10mph UNDER the speed limit!

4) Has anyone here ever successfully licked their elbow?
Ha ha! No but I'm sure I would have tried when I was younger. I was/am very gullible.

5) If you could paint the moon a different colour, which would it be? (patterns like tartan and Burberry are also acceptable answers)
Ooh, tartan sounds fun, perhaps something like a flower, a rose maybe? idk

Anyway, hope you are all having a good day, we have made it to the weekend. *stars
*grouphug2xx

@FlamingoWrangler @MrPolite @may71 @Dinolaur
 

Road to Nowhere

💫💫💫💫💫
SF Supporter
#17
1) How long have you been on the forum?

Member since 2009 regular last 2 years.

2) If you wrote a Autobiography, what would you call it?

How to find your destination building the Road to Nowhere one brick at a time.
1637354198685.png

3) What pet peeve would you make illegal if you could?

Laziness and half-assing everything.

4) Has anyone here ever successfully licked their elbow?

*dunno

5) If you could paint the moon a different colour, which would it be? (patterns like tartan and burberry are also acceptable answers)
1637353509557.png
 

Blue Star

Well-Known Member
#18
1) How long have you been on the forum? More than 3 years
2) If you wrote a Autobiography, what would you call it? Journal Of An American Philosopher
3) What pet peeve would you make illegal if you could? Smelling other people's feet
4) Has anyone here ever successfully licked their elbow? Not me
5) If you could paint the moon a different colour, which would it be? (patterns like tartan and burberry are also acceptable answers) Purple-red
 

Charliex8

SF Creative
SF Supporter
#19
Thank you for the invite @Innocent Forever *hug

1) How long have you been on the forum? Almost 4 years. Had no idea it had been that long!
2) If you wrote a Autobiography, what would you call it? I'd probably call it "I have no idea what I'm doing!"
3) What pet peeve would you make illegal if you could? I'd make it illegal to be late for meetings. Waiting makes me anxious!
4) Has anyone here ever successfully licked their elbow? Not me, but I totally just tried again, just in case haha!
5) If you could paint the moon a different colour, which would it be? (patterns like tartan and burberry are also acceptable answers) Green
 

JMG

~ Peace and love to all ~
#20
Yayy a cafe I'm so happy ty for posting it Dante :) And a very big tysm to both @Innocent Forever and @Kiwi2016 for inviting me via tagging me here. I will answer all the q's except the pomeranian one. I do find those kinds of "what would you wish for?" q's fun but sorry just not really in the mood to think of whatever I don't have that I want right now. Will answer the rest though so here's my answers and hope everyone has a nice day :) *hug*grouphug2


The Welcome Table
A table of increasingly random questions to break the ice, this is aimed more at newbies so PLEASE invite some.


1) How long have you been on the forum?
Over a decade, since May 2010.

2) If you wrote a Autobiography, what would you call it?
Surviving Injustice

3) What pet peeve would you make illegal if you could?
Can't think of anything for this right now sorry lol.

4) Has anyone here ever successfully licked their elbow?
Dunno, maybe? Lol.

5) If you could paint the moon a different colour, which would it be? (patterns like tartan and burberry are also acceptable answers)
Purple and pink! :) Either a tie dye pattern or maybe hearts.

The Bad Day Table
A table for all those bad days we have so CLEARLY had to end up here. But remember to keep it light if you can.


1) What petty irritant ALWAYS sets you off down the path to having a bad day?
Well anything that sets me on a path to having a bad day isn't really a "petty irritant" imo lol but I guess to be woken up and not being able to get back to sleep cos then I don't get enough sleep which is never good.

2) Whats the worst date you have ever been on?
Years ago now, but ya the one where the guy left when I went to the bathroom. Was for the best anyway though he seemed kinda odd.

3) How far into lockdown did you get before reaching "Fuck this shit"?
Not very long, def. by the summer of last year I was quite done with it lol.

4) What is your least favourite day of the week?
Monday. Sunday kinda sucks too imo though lol.

5) What day started bad and then was saved?
Whenever my sis calls that always helps my day be better. Oh the time when my friend and I talked on the phone & I was in a really down mood and he came over after a long day, that was really nice of him and meant a lot to me :)

The "Its Not Christmas Yet So Put Down the Decorations and Walk Away" Table
A table for all those who are annoyed at how early christmas seems to come every year (I swear it started in October this year...)


1) When did you see the first signs of Christmas and was it WAY too early?
September lol. Yes it was too early, at least let Halloween come and go before moving on to the next big celebration imo.

2) When SHOULD the christmas hype begin?
December.

3) When did you (or will you) begin christmas shopping?
I don't buy for more than a few people so I look out for deals throughout the year. Am usually long done by November if not sooner.

4) Have you heard of Whamageddon and if so, do you play?
Not before I read this no. I know now though and I dunno if I'd play it, I don't like that song though it's depressing and way too overplayed.

5) What is the best christmas present you ever received? (Or worst if it is funny)
Aw this is really hard I've gotten lots of great presents over the years. Hmm well last year my sis got me a custom made pair of socks with a pattern of my sweet kitty's face on them, love those very much but don't want to wear them much so they will last and not wear out and get holes in them.
My friend got me a cool rainbow color changing computer mouse a few years ago, that really meant a lot to me cos not only is it awesome but I know it was not a remotely "cheap" mouse so that was very kind and generous of him.
 

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