Spent entirely too much time thinking about what the future holds. It scares the shit out of me. Am currently working on reapplying for financial assistance on medical care. Without it, I could not have have care. Cannot have next test doc wants me to have until 7/25. They are booked solid. Am in pain almost all the time. Cannot sleep through a night because of constant need to urinate. Health is tanking fast. And if I can't work I might as well be dead.
Have no money. Cannot live on Social Security. Can hardly live on what I have now. Property taxes are ghastly. Right now I qualify for reduced taxes. And property value was frozen a much lower prices then they are now. But may lose that reduction. If I make over 40,000 a year I lose the reduction. Would gain it again when I went on Social Security, but at a much higher level. That is because property would be appraised at new, higher value. So it would be taxed more. And state always wants to raise taxes regardless of how many people can't afford it. No way could I afford it. Don't live in Seattle, thank goodness. They want to raise taxes, again, to pay for community college for all high school graduates. Nice thought, but not reasonable. Plus Medicare and supplemental plans would have to be paid if I can't work. Cannot afford them. Not to mention car and home insurance, utilities, food, home and car maintenance. I have so fucked up this life. Suicide will never be easy, but may become the only viable option. Then I've thought about selling all my stuff except what would fit in my car and just living in it and driving around the country until I die.