Musings, ideas, what are you thinking about?

MisterBGone

ReaLemon
SF Supporter
Sorry- totally inappropriate for this particular thread topic thing-a-ma-jig!!!! Na na na na na nah nah... nanananananahNa... (gettin’ jiggy wit’ it!) little know n fact: I actually much prefer his music to his movies; yes, I know I am in the minority! I don’t need your authority cuz I wanna be the minority . . . :)
 

Baywasp

I know the world turns and it will turn on me
SF Supporter
I'm thinking about how I want to hear Rick Maguire of the band Pile cover "Torn" (the song made famous by Natalie Imbruglia) again, but I think he only played it on an Instagram live show a month or two ago. There don't seem to be any existing recordings of him playing it, unfortunately.
 
I should call out my stepfather anytime he's on his baseless rants. But if I do that, he might turn the frustration on the causes I support.

I don't want to do more harm than good. But I don't want to be the coward who looks the other way either. I'm a grown ass man, and a grown ass man should fight for what he believes in.
 
For a long time, I've been struggling to accept myself as a good person.
Often, I don't think I am. I made too many mistakes. I've been aggressive, cold and cruel. And in the future, I will be guilty of this once more.

But I remind myself that if I were truly so vile, then I wouldn't have worried so much about my morality. My desire to outshine my shadows allows my spirit to flourish, find peace. And though it may fade quickly, it'll come back to me.
 

Gonz

₲‹›Ŋʑ
Ironic, how much inconvenience I have to endure to stay alive, when I'm this ambivalent about living in the first place.

I haven't told anyone this: when the heart attack happened, after I figured out that it wasn't just a really bad panic attack, it took me about twenty minutes of going back and forth over whether I should just let it happen before I asked for a ride to the ER. It was the thought of my parents' faces when they found me that convinced me to go.
 

Auri

🎸🎶Metal Star🎵🥁
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Ironic, how much inconvenience I have to endure to stay alive, when I'm this ambivalent about living in the first place.

I haven't told anyone this: when the heart attack happened, after I figured out that it wasn't just a really bad panic attack, it took me about twenty minutes of going back and forth over whether I should just let it happen before I asked for a ride to the ER. It was the thought of my parents' faces when they found me that convinced me to go.
We're all happy you took that decision, it was the best one. You are so loved and needed... I'm sorry that you even had/have this thought, you deserve so much better. *sadhug Don't you ever do this again!
 

Gonz

₲‹›Ŋʑ
@Gonz if you dont mind me asking alot people said it didnt feel like a heart attack to them but some felt tired etc was it like that to you? So glad you got to check it out!
For me, it started out feeling like a regular, run of the mill, panic attack. Sweaty, heart racing, tightness in my chest. Only the chest tightness kept getting worse and worse, that's what gave it away. One weird thing was I felt like I wasn't getting enough oxygen but it didn't feel like suffocating; like I could feel my lungs filling all the way, but they couldn't extract enough oxygen from each breath, if that makes any sense. And if not for the worsening chest pain I could have easily gone to sleep, so it makes sense that someone without that symptom might just suddenly feel very tired.
 

Gonz

₲‹›Ŋʑ
We're all happy you took that decision, it was the best one. You are so loved and needed... I'm sorry that you even had/have this thought, you deserve so much better. *sadhug Don't you ever do this again!
Glad people are happy about it. And I do think it was the right choice. But I can't help feeling like it was a missed opportunity, you know? A chance to go without it being my "fault." But then again, once I knew what was happening, it would have been my fault, even if nobody else had to know that.
 

Auri

🎸🎶Metal Star🎵🥁
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Glad people are happy about it. And I do think it was the right choice. But I can't help feeling like it was a missed opportunity, you know? A chance to go without it being my "fault." But then again, once I knew what was happening, it would have been my fault, even if nobody else had to know that.
I hear you, had "opportunities" too, it's so much easier, right. Though like you said, the result is the same. I'm happy you have your parents, but allow me to hope for you to find additional reasons, because no one deserves it more.
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$70.00
Goal
$255.00
Top