<Mod edit - timeline>. The decision isn't based off life being shit or anything, just simply not wanting to be alive at all (not wanting to try at life). Well if I had to give a reason which could be close, maybe me having depression episodes and doing really dumb things under that influence. So when I was working on my moms roof today, <Mod edit - timeline>. She's in hospital atm and my dad wont be here <Mod edit - timeline>. My brother will be at uni and my uncle is also so stone out of his mind. I won't be spotted at all. Since I unfriended all my close friends under the bad influence of the episodes, I don't have anyone to try and convince me to live. That sounds really messed up but basically if you guys can't, then no one can. That's my reasoning for being here. Thank you!
My day
- Thread starter Wikus
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- Tags depression suicidalthoughts suicide attempt
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Good man, lets start with the basics. What's got you feeling this way? You mentioned doing "dumb things" care to elaborate on that?
What i will say, is a death in the family will have effects that last forever, so your family will miss you and blame themselves forever if anything were to happen to you
What i will say, is a death in the family will have effects that last forever, so your family will miss you and blame themselves forever if anything were to happen to you
Well, I would regard me just being a douche as dumb. I just hate attachments so if I ever felt locked in, I would just leave. That doesn't sit well with most people to say the least. I unfriended a lot of close friends because they were becoming toxic about my episodes. I don't really care what my family thinks which makes me think that I deserve this way of things even more.
Just wanted to check in to see how you were doing and to let you know that you do matter and that you aren't alone. We all make mistakes as we're human...do you mind sharing a bit more what is making you feel this way? Please take care and be gentle on yourself and take to heart that you do matter and you aren't alone.
As I've said prior, I don't think I have a real shitty life. It's better than most but I can't seem to want to live. Too many existential unknowns and a flawed belief system worldwide isn't making life enjoyable. Maybe because I don't have my purpose yet. This depression has taken away my passion and drive to better myself apart from me taking meds that don't even work for me. Oh and please elaborate what you mean by letting someone pamper me please. Thanks!
Maybe you could try treating the depression that makes you feel like this with doctors, therapists and meds instead of abuse of alcohol and other things that inevitably make you more depressed (since it is in fact a far stronger antidepressant than any antidepressant that exists) and messes up your life more?
doing really dumb things under that influence
Sounds a lot more like a drinking or drug problem than something existentially wrong with the world to be honest if you often do "dumb" things when under the influence- and it makes absolutely 100% certain your meds cannot possibly work..
doing really dumb things under that influence
Sounds a lot more like a drinking or drug problem than something existentially wrong with the world to be honest if you often do "dumb" things when under the influence- and it makes absolutely 100% certain your meds cannot possibly work..
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Surprisingly, I don't do any drugs, nor do I drink alcohol. The influence I was referring to was when for some reason my brain refused to rationally do things probably sure to the influence of depression. I don't like the feeling of being high, so I don't do drugs. I can't drink alcohol because of my meds because they are both depressants and I have a bad history with alcohol which makes me kinda want to vomit when I smell it. Oh and also, I have been seeing doctors/therapists but they have a strange delusion that I am getting better.
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