Never ending bad thoughts

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me84

Active Member
#1
About 7 years ago I was raped. It was horrible but for 2 years I tried to pretend it was consentual so I didnt have to face it. Well I got severe PTSD anxiety depression. You name it. I have been in and out of many hospitals dor suicide and self harm. I cant get the thought of suicide out of my mind. I recently was so scared it was going to happen again I gained 70lbs. My thought was ... If im not attrac5ive im safe. Unfortunately it backfires amd now I feel even more worthless amd discusting from the weight. I keep self harming from the emotional pain. I dont know how to make it stop.
 

ThePhantomLady

Safety and Support
SF Supporter
#2
Hi hun. I am so sorry to hear how you're struggling. And I'm terribly sorry for what happened.

Other than the hospital visits are you getting any help to make it through? Any therapy? Medicine? I know how difficult this is to get through; but you can.
Have you tried DBT? It works well with PTSD as far as I know... last time I tried it, it did help me... but I wasn't ready for it, now I am waiting to start it again soon and this time I'll work hard to get better.

Are you able to go for walks sometimes or do other forms of excesrise? That could both help your body and your mind too... but I know it's not easy to start on it.

Don't give up hun. Please continue to fight and it will get better. *hugs*


If you ever need to talk my inbox is always open.


Please try to be kind to yourself.
 

Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#3
Hi honey, I am a rape survivor also and I know how bad it feels, I was just talking about this subject today with a new therapist and she had lots of suggestions, one in particular that stood out was drawing a picture of him or if you can't do that write out your thoughts and place that page on a bed and beat it. Take your anger and distress out on that page then when you are finished, burn it or tear it up into little pieces. That might help somewhat. Be strong my friend we can get through this together, you are not alone in this battle. What happened should not have happened and no need to cope with this alone. Have you thought about reporting the rapist to the authorities? He deserves to feel the wrath of the law and it will lessen he chance of him doing this to someone else. Best of luck to you and know were here in this battle with you.​
 

ThePhantomLady

Safety and Support
SF Supporter
#4
Hi honey, I am a rape survivor also and I know how bad it feels, I was just talking about this subject today with a new therapist and she had lots of suggestions, one in particular that stood out was drawing a picture of him or if you can't do that write out your thoughts and place that page on a bed and beat it. Take your anger and distress out on that page then when you are finished, burn it or tear it up into little pieces. That might help somewhat. Be strong my friend we can get through this together, you are not alone in this battle. What happened should not have to cope with this alone. Have you thought about reporting the rapist to the authorities? He deserves to feel the wrath of the law and it will lessen he chance of him doing this to someone else. Best of luck to you and know were here in this battle with you.​
That is very good advice. I might have to try it too sometime.
 
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