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bluegrey

Antiquities Friend
#41
Try to lose yourself in something calming. I am dealing with a lot of stress with my mother in the hospital so I did a lot of yardwork to keep my mind in the moment. Talk to a supportive friend or family member on the phone or just watch something light on television. Sit in a quiet and dark room and concentrate on your breathing for about twenty minutes.

Can you have someone be with you at the dentist tomorrow? Knowing you will have a familiar face there tomorrow should help. I hope Wednesday comes soon and this is all over with. :pinkrose:
 

itmahanh

Senior Member & Antiquities Friend
#42
Thank you, you dont know how much I need and appreciate your reply. It gives me something to see, read. Lets me know that there is someone out there. I feel like I'm about to completely loose it here. I really really hate this right now!!!!
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#43
Hi hun soon your pain will be gone thought right you will feel so much better after getting your teeth fixed You will have more energy not so drained from the infection. It will go well and you tell your doctor okay abt the anxiety they will understand. I was so happy when i go my teeth fixed yeh i can eat real food again. Listening to music is great idea C okay find something quiet and soothing take a nice long warm bath and just breath okay hugs to you
 

itmahanh

Senior Member & Antiquities Friend
#44
Thanks. Too wound up and fidgety for relaxing. Think I'll go have a drink and my meds and to bed. If I dont do that, I'll explode.
 

itmahanh

Senior Member & Antiquities Friend
#47
Everything is too hectic, moving too fast. Confusing. Hurting. I cant do this. I cant stop crying. I cant stop telling myself this is all my fault. They took him away because I attempted. They said for only a little while. They promised to get things put in place soon. He was safe with me. All my children are. Now they call to tell me he is being abused in his foster care home!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEY WONT BRING HIM HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm done. I cant protect my own babies. I've failed as a mom. Not good for anything now.
 

Fitzy

Well-Known Member
#48
Being a mum is the hardest job on the planet and we all feel as though we fail. You have done your best and that is what matters.
Have you got any legal support over your children's situation?
Sending love xxxxx
 

itmahanh

Senior Member & Antiquities Friend
#49
This isnt going well. I want to cut so badly. I need to feel control over something. And I've got too many "tools" around to make a decent attempt. I know I should be trying to be strong for my little one. But I cant. I just cant. And that makes me feel even more like a failure.
 

IV2010

Well-Known Member
#50
I'm so sorry hun.....don't take it out on yourself ..it's not your fault.
I hope you will use that anger to get your child back and not to hurt yourself...:hug:
 

Stranger1

Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend
#51
Hey Sis, How you holding up?? Did you make it to the dentist o.k.?? I know how you felt having the procedure done.. I had all my bottom teeth pulled at once and I was awake.. The dentist did give me some gas to relax.. I guess because he was afraid I would bite him or hit him.. I didn't feel a thing.. I made the mistake of laying down when I got home and fell asleep..When I woke up my pillow was covered in blood..Big mistake..Have you been getting out of the house?? Did you go out like you said in a previous reply??I think the more you get out the better you will feel.. You know I am an isolationist and never get out.. I don't want you to end up like me..I care what you are going thru and want you to at least make an attempt to get out..Who knows you might even meet new people..You are very intelligent and insightfull that it would be easy to be your friend..Oh thats right I am your friend..lol..Take care sweetie.. Love You, Bro
 

itmahanh

Senior Member & Antiquities Friend
#52
Yeah bro you are my friend. One of the best!! No I dont leave my house, only for appointments. My anxiety and panic attacks are out of control. I have to take a flight and be away for about 4 days. Hoping to put a face to the wonderful voice that has helped me through a lot of stuff. But I'm soooo scared. So much commotion and noise. So many unknowns. I would rather drive but old Betty is falling apart a part at a time.

I didnt sleep at all last night. I'm sick with worry about my baby. And now I have to wait til Monday before I hear what they did with him!!!!!!!!! Death would be so easy. I'm falling apart and I'm heading to a place I dont want to go. Already today, been cleaning the house and gonna make up batches of food to freeze. In my mind that's getting ready to attempt. All the t's are crossed and the i's dotted so to speak. I feel os lost today.
 

itmahanh

Senior Member & Antiquities Friend
#53
Today has been one big disappointment after another. More than enough proof for me. I've blown it big time. I cant fix any of it. These are all huge things. My poor babies. Mom s done sorry.
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#54
Moms not done moms gonna fight for her little bear and get him back to her
don't give up okay he needs you get angry get mad get fighting hugs
 

itmahanh

Senior Member & Antiquities Friend
#55
Mute point now but wonder where life would of taken me if it hadnt of been so cruel. Guess it doesnt matter. I'm hurting and the thoughts like always are telling me how to make it stop. Tonight I'm all ears.
 

Sparky55313

Well-Known Member
#56
So glad you are back and safe. I just came back myself and still remember ever so clearly those words of positive reinforcement you gave me.
You are a survivor as I am. Trust your friends!
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#58
I hope you put ear plugs in then so you stop hearing those negative thoughts okay You are NOT cruel far from it. You child needs you to fight for him now okay i know you have that in you just as i would fight for my child you will fight for yours get the mama bear inside you awake okay hugs.
 

itmahanh

Senior Member & Antiquities Friend
#59
I fell asleep at home and woke up in the hospital. My discharge papers said "overdose."I dont remember any of it at all. They gave me breakfast and said go home. I live about 10 miles from the hospital and I'd say about 8 of them are on the highway. I dont know how I got there but I knew how I was getting home..... walk. As I left the hospital one of the nurses came out and told me she would get her husband to give me a lift home.

I"m home but nothing has changed. Now I'm even more determined. I dont want to waste their time again.
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#60
That was nice of the nurse to get her husbnd to take you home there are kind people C out there. Please just don't okay no more doing this to yourself show them you will stay stable and you will fight to get your son back hugs
 
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