Quitting my job (ever done it?)

[Xanthas]

I'm in a similar situation: director of a department at a policy research center. I nearly quit two years ago, with the plan to move back to Canada and just live off savings (enough for a modest life outside a major city). But I am trying to hold out a bit longer: 3 more years and I can retire with a reduced pension.

If the core reason you want to quit is the stress of the job, can't your bosses let you hire a few people to which you could delegate? I realize that there are some areas of responsibility that are in themselves stressful, but any way to restructure your workload?

 

[Depressed in SF]

I'm in a similar situation: director of a department at a policy research center. I nearly quit two years ago, with the plan to move back to Canada and just live off savings (enough for a modest life outside a major city). But I am trying to hold out a bit longer: 3 more years and I can retire with a reduced pension.

If the core reason you want to quit is the stress of the job, can't your bosses let you hire a few people to which you could delegate? I realize that there are some areas of responsibility that are in themselves stressful, but any way to restructure your workload?

Good luck with your plan Xanthas! Do you think you can make it another 3 years? If so, do it...but if not, don't risk your health.

I don't feel like I'm in the right role, its not the best match for me at this time. My manager and I mutually agreed to this last week. The good thing is, there's a job open that I am a PERFECT fit for. First interview is today. Wish me luck. Pretty much either gonna take this new job (in the hopes that it makes me feel better) or leave the company altogether.

 

[Depressed in SF]

QUICK QUESTION to anyone out there who's had to quit their job due to their mental health struggles:

How were you able to maintain relationships with your docs, get your meds, etc...without health insurance? (yes, I'm from the US)

 

[BlueGreen]

Good luck with your plan Xanthas! Do you think you can make it another 3 years? If so, do it...but if not, don't risk your health.

I don't feel like I'm in the right role, its not the best match for me at this time. My manager and I mutually agreed to this last week. The good thing is, there's a job open that I am a PERFECT fit for. First interview is today. Wish me luck. Pretty much either gonna take this new job (in the hopes that it makes me feel better) or leave the company altogether.

Just wanted to wish you luck @Depressed in SF!

 

[Aurelia]

QUICK QUESTION to anyone out there who's had to quit their job due to their mental health struggles:

How were you able to maintain relationships with your docs, get your meds, etc...without health insurance? (yes, I'm from the US)

I just applied for welfare, which covered my medical.

Yeah, that's the toughest part...I make really good $$$ and have outstanding benefits (which, in the US means health insurance). However, the anxiety and depression that the job induces is becoming not worth it anymore.

This other job I might be able to get is internal, which is great, because I don't want to just leave my company for another one.

If I can get this job, I think I can squeeze a few more months out of this place, save up some $ so I can quit.

If I can't get this new job, I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to last here.

I talk to my boss about it tomorrow...wish me luck!

For me, personally, I'd rather have a job I like or can at least tolerate than have a job I hate that makes me a lot of money.

 

[Lane]

QUICK QUESTION to anyone out there who's had to quit their job due to their mental health struggles:

How were you able to maintain relationships with your docs, get your meds, etc...without health insurance? (yes, I'm from the US)

The way I did was only to apply for free health insurance when I wasn't working. You've probably looked into it on your state website, or call Catholic Charities and they can help you get a sliding fee scale for a prescribing doctor. Good luck @Depressed in SF

 

[Walker]

@Depressed in SF Judging solely by your username I'm assuming where you live. That state has expanded medicaid to include single individuals earning 16K a year or less. You could possibly apply for that if you are not able to work any longer for whatever reason.

 

[Leesa]

Just make sure you are prepared financially for a long term period of unemployment. Otherwise you may wind up in an even worse position.

Yep. This happened to me and I was nearly homeless. My relationship with my family was already strained but this destroyed it. I would handle things completely differently if given the chance.

 

[Xanthas]

Good luck with your plan Xanthas! Do you think you can make it another 3 years? If so, do it...but if not, don't risk your health.

I don't feel like I'm in the right role, its not the best match for me at this time. My manager and I mutually agreed to this last week. The good thing is, there's a job open that I am a PERFECT fit for. First interview is today. Wish me luck. Pretty much either gonna take this new job (in the hopes that it makes me feel better) or leave the company altogether.

I definitely could make it if I made some radical changes. Right now, I live 45 minutes from work out of convenience for my wife. But if I were to move right beside my office, I'd be dealing with less pain. As a compromise, I'm spending a few night a week at the Marriott residence Inn across from my office. Besides that, I'd have to drop one or two of the three hats I wear: author, administrator, consultant. I'm trying to substantially cut back on writing commitments as most of my pain is caused by using my left arm or leaning forward.

Hope your interview went well. Please report back.

 

[Depressed in SF]

Just wanted to wish you luck @Depressed in SF!

Thank you!!!

@Depressed in SF Judging solely by your username I'm assuming where you live. That state has expanded medicaid to include single individuals earning 16K a year or less. You could possibly apply for that if you are not able to work any longer for whatever reason.

Yup, I live in California. Thanks for the advice!

I definitely could make it if I made some radical changes. Right now, I live 45 minutes from work out of convenience for my wife. But if I were to move right beside my office, I'd be dealing with less pain. As a compromise, I'm spending a few night a week at the Marriott residence Inn across from my office. Besides that, I'd have to drop one or two of the three hats I wear: author, administrator, consultant. I'm trying to substantially cut back on writing commitments as most of my pain is caused by using my left arm or leaning forward.

Hope your interview went well. Please report back.

Thank you all so much for the kind words and wising me luck! I had the interview 1 week ago today and I thought I did really well...but I haven't heard anything back yet.

I'm starting to think I may resign even if i do get the offer. I'm just not connecting with this working environment anymore and it severely exacerbates my anxiety/depression.

I feel very guilty, as this is the type of role/company/compensation/etc that most people would kill for...but I think the healthiest thing for me might be to walk away?

I'll keep you all updated..

 

[Xanthas]

I feel very guilty, as this is the type of role/company/compensation/etc that most people would kill for...but I think the healthiest thing for me might be to walk away?

Similar boat here. In 2017, I expressed how miserable I was to a recent PhD, and he said he would kill for my (prior) job. In 2018, I was ready to quit, move to rural B.C. and live off my savings (which thankfully includes a great annuity I bought with a guaranteed stream of income for life). An amazing job to one person is misery to another. That doesnt mean they're ungrateful, however. Rather, the person and job may just not be the right match.

Fortunately, right when I was at the end of my rope, I was offered a new position by my employer.

Hope a similar stroke of luck happens for you.

 

[Kiwi2016]

I can relate all too well with what you are dealing with as I was in a toxic work environment and had reached the point where I made the decision to take a medical leave. It was a good decision for me as I needed the time to simply take care of myself for that time. I will be honest when I came back it was worse than ever thanks in large part to one employee who in the end engineered my termination while the new director was out of the country...luckily I was able to negotiate early retirement working with the union as I was turning 55 within a month of so, and so I "retired" one day after my birthday. I was fortunate that there was a pension plan and the union was there to ensure that it was enacted properly all in the matter of about a day and a half. So you may have similar options as well so I would advise to look into that as well. As far as health insurance I had to bite the bullet of paying for it for several months but then was able to get a reduction in the cost through the Oamacare program in my state. So you may want to look into that as an option.

I spent the 1st month after "retirement" considering my options and enrolled in a certificate program for a new career and graduated just a few months ago and landed a job where I had interned. I found that while doing the program it gave me a purpose by taking classes over a 15 month period and regaining my self-confidence. As my previous field jobs are few and far between where I live. It is a completely different field but one which I am enjoying and though it is still hard to realize that I had to leave a 31 year career behind me but in the end I am finding that it was for the best. As though this job can be stressful as the learning curve is steep being out of a toxic environment has given me a new lease on life as they say.

I tend to be verbose so apologize for the length of this reply...but in the end I guess what I am saying is that it is important for you to do what is best for you, Allowing yourself the time to concentrate on yourself and what you would like to do away from the stressful work environment can be an opportunity to recover and explore new options. And also a piece of advice my therapist gave me that I continue to remind myself is that a job/career doesn't define who we are...as we are so much more than that and a job/career is just one aspect of ourselves which we are free to change to follow our passions or interests.

Sending you very very positive thoughts and remember as well that you do matter and you aren't alone as we are all here for you.

 

[may71]

QUICK QUESTION to anyone out there who's had to quit their job due to their mental health struggles:

How were you able to maintain relationships with your docs, get your meds, etc...without health insurance? (yes, I'm from the US)

If you've got a big chunk of money salted away, living internationally might make sense. There are some places that have decent healthcare where you can live for pretty cheap.

The reason for putting up with high costs in the US is that you need to be here to earn income, or because you've got so much money that you don't need to worry about costs.

 

[Depressed in SF]

Hey everyone, thank you so much for the thoughtful replies and advice on this thread.

Well, I went and did it.

Yesterday I gave notice to my manager that I will be leaving the company.

My wife and my doctors are VERY supportive and I'm starting to make the transition from "anxious and scared" to "excited and hopeful"...I'm really hoping this new path in life is a happier and healthier one for me. Now the real work starts...

I'll check in on this thread some more if/when it seems appropriate. Thanks again everyone!!!!!!!

 

[may71]

Hey, I hope this all works out well

 

[Walker]

I feel very guilty, as this is the type of role/company/compensation/etc that most people would kill for...but I think the healthiest thing for me might be to walk away?

Yesterday I gave notice to my manager that I will be leaving the company.

You can only do what you can do, right?
I'm glad you're venturing out into new territory here. Best wishes for the upcoming time ahead, I hope it's smooth.

 

[Kiwi2016]

Sending you very positive thoughts on your new journey and always remember that you do matter and that you aren't alone as we're always here .... so hope that you check in once in awhile.

 

[Depressed in SF]

Hey, I hope this all works out well

Thanks @may71 appreciate the support!

You can only do what you can do, right?
I'm glad you're venturing out into new territory here. Best wishes for the upcoming time ahead, I hope it's smooth.

Thanks @Walker ...fingers crossed!!!

Sending you very positive thoughts on your new journey and always remember that you do matter and that you aren't alone as we're always here .... so hope that you check in once in awhile.

Thanks for the reminder...it means a lot. Will definitely stop by and check in with you all soon.

 

[Kiwi2016]

Just thought would check in to see how you were doing.,,