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Suicidal Thoughts - Are you Feeling Suicidal Today?
- Thread starter Petal
- Start date
i greatly appreciate you sharing information on what has worked for you. It helps me come back to my doc with ideas.
i can't have most opioids (anaphylaxis).. and can no longer use patches due to my idiotic adhesive allergy. i have tried cbd and thc (yes its very legal here in colorado).They take the tiny edge off, however i have had way too many bad highs from the thc.
Currently nothing is working. my spine doc had me fill out a pain questioner today... we shall see what comes from that. Something has to be done because i can't handle this pain for much longer.
i can't have most opioids (anaphylaxis).. and can no longer use patches due to my idiotic adhesive allergy. i have tried cbd and thc (yes its very legal here in colorado).They take the tiny edge off, however i have had way too many bad highs from the thc.
Currently nothing is working. my spine doc had me fill out a pain questioner today... we shall see what comes from that. Something has to be done because i can't handle this pain for much longer.
Dang. What a difference one day makes. Not only am I not suicidal today, but I dare say I have something to look forward to.
I went to therapy and we worked on containment, meaning that when things from my past come up, I have a skill of “containing” them until I am in therapy and then can do the processing with guidance and supervision. Supervision in case I get out of my depth again.
Chatted with a close friend from way back, almost 30 years ago. We still are so close that we went on for 2.5 hours talking about all sorts of things but I got some insights out of it. Namely, that I want to try out volunteering. In my lack of employment, I could spend a few hours a week doing something to help people who would not otherwise be helped, which would make me feel better.
I went to therapy and we worked on containment, meaning that when things from my past come up, I have a skill of “containing” them until I am in therapy and then can do the processing with guidance and supervision. Supervision in case I get out of my depth again.
Chatted with a close friend from way back, almost 30 years ago. We still are so close that we went on for 2.5 hours talking about all sorts of things but I got some insights out of it. Namely, that I want to try out volunteering. In my lack of employment, I could spend a few hours a week doing something to help people who would not otherwise be helped, which would make me feel better.
Yes, i am waiting for something i know is not going to happen. I have made the decision that without said thing happening i need to leave now rather than waiting around for old age to kick in. I just cant bring myself to make that step to leave. I dont know why, might be a human body response thing or hope that things will change, but i know they wont.
Thanks for your concern @may71
It's tough at the moment with a load of anniversaries of things going wrong in the relationship, including the day they left, their birthday, xmas alone (1st in 25 years), new years, last time I saw them, things like that.
Tomorrow this time last year was horrific, I imagine for them too. I have a safety plan in place for tomorrow, where I have therapy in the afternoon, then I'm going up to the city. I've booked into a cheap hotel for the night and then do a bit of shopping and getting my tattoo worked one.
I arranged the above, as the SI thoughts/ are quite bad so I don't want to be in the house on my own. Ill be at the hotel on my own, but at least I've got a bit of a safety plan. Besides my method is in the house packed away in a box, so I wont have that with me. I'm trying to think smart.
It's tough at the moment with a load of anniversaries of things going wrong in the relationship, including the day they left, their birthday, xmas alone (1st in 25 years), new years, last time I saw them, things like that.
Tomorrow this time last year was horrific, I imagine for them too. I have a safety plan in place for tomorrow, where I have therapy in the afternoon, then I'm going up to the city. I've booked into a cheap hotel for the night and then do a bit of shopping and getting my tattoo worked one.
I arranged the above, as the SI thoughts/ are quite bad so I don't want to be in the house on my own. Ill be at the hotel on my own, but at least I've got a bit of a safety plan. Besides my method is in the house packed away in a box, so I wont have that with me. I'm trying to think smart.
Yes. There are many reasons I feel like that already, and a doctor at my doc's office reduced the amount of pain meds I get. My doctor long ago said only he is my doctor, not her (I've had issues with her in the past, so my doctor said how about we stick with only me as your doctor).
If he doesn't fix this I don't want to go on. I still have a mass in my forearm that is pinching nerves now. As it was I was getting some relief for maybe 4 hours out of my day. I have lots of other meds I could just you know what with. I have zero friends, I'm tired of having no one to talk to or do anything with or some real life support.
If he doesn't fix this I don't want to go on. I still have a mass in my forearm that is pinching nerves now. As it was I was getting some relief for maybe 4 hours out of my day. I have lots of other meds I could just you know what with. I have zero friends, I'm tired of having no one to talk to or do anything with or some real life support.
It's my birthday, and my biggest wish is for everyone here to heal and be happy 