Suicidal Thoughts - Are you Feeling Suicidal Today?

[SillyOldBear]

Diabetes plus major dry mouth problems are contributors to why it has taken so long to feel better.

I am struggling with my brain cuz I stopped my anti psychotic (I thought I was cured) and my pdoc restarted me, but we have to build up the dose. So it may be a while before I get back to where I was mentally back in early spring.

It sucks to have so many things going wrong. I know. I am dealing with many issues as well. And it certainly increases the desire to die. Suicide may well be my fate some day. And mental illness is so bad. Doctors don't really know how to treat it. It seems like they just guess. Then the meds have really nasty side effects. I hope going back on yours brings relief. Am sorry it takes so long.

 

[Here Then Gone]

I'm not far from it. Last night I put on the fake smile once again during my band's show the whole time. Everyone around me laughing, having a great time, little did they know how many years of practice I've had with that fake smile, how great of an 'actor' I am. I could've been a gloomy gus and took out my feelings in my performance, but I wanted to give people their money's worth. I don't even want to play onstage, I just force myself to do something social because I know what happens when you don't.

 

[TragicReality]

Very much so, almost there and cant take this so called life anymore.

 

[Swampyfroggie]

I’m a complete lost cause. I’m a terrible person and nobody will miss me. It doesn’t seem that my family cares about me i just want to at least have a “way out” so i have a solution when everyone hates me but i don’t even have anything to fall back on. <mod edit: methods> so i have nothing to look forward to or relieve me & noone to talk to. If it comes to it i’ll do it but i’ll just have to wait and hope the worst doesn’t happen.

 

[Rhidia]

Yes, I just don't want to be here. There's no point if you just can't enjoy anything.

 

[Mimi77]

I fall back. Again. No words left. There is only one thing to do to stop it.

 

[1964dodge]

I wish God would take us both very soon. Preferably in our sleep. We have earned a peaceful end.

i agree and waiting

mike

 

[1964dodge]

Yes, I just don't want to be here. There's no point if you just can't enjoy anything.

 

[1964dodge]

overwhelmed with the si thoughts today

i hope today is better

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

Yes, and at a level that I find alarming.

try to hold on @Angie you are stronger than you realize

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

Very much so tonight. It's nearly 2am... and i am feeling so very done with everything!

 

[1964dodge]

I fall back. Again. No words left. There is only one thing to do to stop it.

 

[1964dodge]

not really suicidal but i consider options a lot

mike

 

[I_waste_everything]

To my kin:

Why do you all still hold onto me?

Don't you see, when you look at me, þe failure, þe abomination, þe fraud, þe line-crosser I see in þe mirror‽

 

[LumberJack]

Is it suicide if I just eat a lot of processed meat and nothing with plant material until I get butt cancer and then not seek treatment?

I’m not doing that exactly, but I’m gaining weight and I don’t know why. It might be the 400% jump in fluoxetine. It could also be the Marie Calendar frozen chocolate satin pies. The whole thing is 3200 calories, so even having a 1/8th slice is 400 calories!

 

[KM76710]

not really suicidal but i consider options a lot

mike

That is one I do more and more, possible futures. Every time I turn around it is something new and practically never good.

 

[TragicReality]

I have options. I'm too scared to try. I need to learn that feeling like ending my life comes and goes. I think just yesterday I said I'm doing it soon. Being alone so much really is a problem, althogh I'm good for a while, jus not for months alone.

 

[AmberMarie]

Every night feels like a faster spiral. No med change. No schedule change. Yet the overwhelming doom (for a lack of a better word) is coming at me faster and faster right now. So very much so considering and going through my options.

 

[anona123]

I don’t want to be here anymore. It’s not just a lack of joy. I actively hate everything I do. Every aspect of life. I’m sorry I don’t feel like explaining right now. It happens to people. We should have peaceful options.

 

[DarkNightshade]

I contemplate death again, feeling like life is not worth it. It’s really weird. Yesterday I felt very good and did not have a single suicidal thought, reminding me that I can indeed be ok; today I believe this is garbage and that I shouldn’t go on.

I have flashes of my mom crying because I did it. I can’t do it, and this makes me feel trapped.