I recently started seeing a therapist again, having been referred by my doc a few weeks back. I haven't quite settled into it yet. I know it's still early days and I've no set expectations but I'm finding myself being hesitant before each session. My moods have been darker than usual since starting this process again but such are the tides of life.
The first time I spoke to a therapist was about 16 years ago. I was given a diagnosis and spent 2 continuous years with a couple of counsellors who specialized in certain types of treatment. They had a very specific, matter-of-fact approach and their primary focus was behavioural. The therapist I'm seeing now is going a different route and using a more psychoanalytical approach. She has my medical history and hasn't turned me away yet, so I'm at least curious to see where it leads.
I found the last two sessions a bit off-kilter. The best way I can describe it was a feeling of being ambushed. I found her framing of certain tendencies as an expression of a 'rage/shame cycle' both interesting and unexpected but I couldn't connect with it on any level and this became a bit irksome. She was quite meticulous too in wanting to know how I experience different emotions, in particular which ones I run toward and which ones I snuff out. She asked shame a couple of times. I got the sense she was looking for something she already suspected & I found my guard going up. By the end of the session I just felt irritated & resentful. I know that's all part of it & I think it makes sense for me to pay attention to whatever was going on there. To be continued, I guess.
The first time I spoke to a therapist was about 16 years ago. I was given a diagnosis and spent 2 continuous years with a couple of counsellors who specialized in certain types of treatment. They had a very specific, matter-of-fact approach and their primary focus was behavioural. The therapist I'm seeing now is going a different route and using a more psychoanalytical approach. She has my medical history and hasn't turned me away yet, so I'm at least curious to see where it leads.
I found the last two sessions a bit off-kilter. The best way I can describe it was a feeling of being ambushed. I found her framing of certain tendencies as an expression of a 'rage/shame cycle' both interesting and unexpected but I couldn't connect with it on any level and this became a bit irksome. She was quite meticulous too in wanting to know how I experience different emotions, in particular which ones I run toward and which ones I snuff out. She asked shame a couple of times. I got the sense she was looking for something she already suspected & I found my guard going up. By the end of the session I just felt irritated & resentful. I know that's all part of it & I think it makes sense for me to pay attention to whatever was going on there. To be continued, I guess.