Tonight is horrible

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I don't really know what happened, but this is the worst I've felt in a while. My depression has been pretty well under control as of lately, but these last few weeks have been horrible. I harmed for the first time in months. Tonight I feel like I'm going to again. I've let down a lot of people close to me. I've been irresponsible. My girlfriend has had a rough week and I've been completely unable to help her out of her rut, and now I'm falling into one which feels incredibly selfish. Too make it worse, I got a scathing email from my work today because I screwed up there too. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I just want to sleep but all I can do is lay here and ruminate over how horrible of a person I am. I just want the feelings to stop.


~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
Staff Alumni
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*hugs* to you. I can relate. Are you suffering with anxiety too? You're going through a lot and the night might be horrible for you but remember you're getting through it and talking about it is likely to help. You're not a horrible person, you're just in emotional turmoil and that is not you fault. I wish you all the best and hope today is a better day for you.


Safety and Support
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I am sorry that you've had such a bad night. Sometimes everything just comes at us at once, doesn't it? You've been faced with a lot of triggers and anyone would probably feel down over this. Don't beat yourself up over it!
One thing to try to remember on one of those nights where the thoughts just keep racing is that you can not do anything about it until the morning... That doesn't always work but it's worth a try.
Take deep breaths, and remember it's probably all solvable. If it helps write a little 'to-do' list for the morning...

I really hope you feel better today and that you managed some sleep. Sleep really does help put things in perspective



Forum Buddy
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I am sadden by your story. You are a supportive person in that you are trying to help your girlfriend. Perhaps you need to have some space from girlfriend so you sort yourself out at work. Tell her you are it breaking up but there for her 24/7 hours.

At work, you screwed up, admit your mistake and apologise. People in power like to be bullies and intimidate you. It depends where the email is from. Admit you made a mistake and ask how you can rectify the situation.

How long have you been working at the company? There is an grievience policy that you can go through. Read your employee handbook, as if the company feeling in a unforgiving mood, then you need to know your legal rights. The situation at work can be resolved if your live mangers are understandable. Jobs are scares in this modern day but you have your rights as well.

If the company want to take disciplinary action, then let them. If you belong to a union, then get a union representative involved if such action is taken. There are ways around your situation(s).

The personal situation us a difficult one as sometimes partners get very clingy. You have to be strong but you need to consider your own welfare first. Yes, it's sounds harsh but that's I call can say. I respect your privacy but please remember is site heavily moderated if you wish discuss the personal situation.

If any way, I caused any offence, I am very sorry.
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