I don't really know what happened, but this is the worst I've felt in a while. My depression has been pretty well under control as of lately, but these last few weeks have been horrible. I harmed for the first time in months. Tonight I feel like I'm going to again. I've let down a lot of people close to me. I've been irresponsible. My girlfriend has had a rough week and I've been completely unable to help her out of her rut, and now I'm falling into one which feels incredibly selfish. Too make it worse, I got a scathing email from my work today because I screwed up there too. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I just want to sleep but all I can do is lay here and ruminate over how horrible of a person I am. I just want the feelings to stop.