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Too dependent

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cvb2377

Well-Known Member
#1
I feel like I rely on people to much. I don't know how to do a lot of things a 22 year old should be able to do. I worry able if I'll ever get my driving license, how to get insurance on things, health care, I even had a nightmare about not knowing how to fill out a bank deposit slip. I get my mother or cousin to show me how to do everything and I worry because what if one day their not there, what will I do? I think about people dying or getting old and So can't rely on them. Things just don't stick in my head and I get forgetful and confused . I hope one day I can depend on myself
 

Brian777

Safety and Support
SF Artist
SF Supporter
#2
Hey cvb, welcome to the forum. All of life is a learning process, the more you do thing the easier they become. Don't be a frail to try and have a little more faith in yourself and I'm sure you'll do just fine.
Take care
Brian
 

pancake111

Well-Known Member
#4
Brian's right. Life is a learning process, and once you start doing things, you'll realize they aren't as hard as you made them out to be.

I've had the same problem. I didn't get my drivers license until I was 19, and even then I was still nervous about driving. I always used to be so nervous to talk on the phone, but now I have little to no anxiety about it. You just have to take the first step and you'll find that going to the rest of the way isn't that bad.
 

Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#5
I can relate to a lot of what you say, I'm 27 and don't have a license yet, I rely on people all the time and it makes me feel so useless and helpless but I carry on and keep doing the best I can. Just do your best, you will get your license when the time is right. Believe in yourself. Keep talking to us :)
 

Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#7
My family doesn't mind helping me out but I can't help but feel like a burden, you know?
Yup, I sure do understand. I do extra things around the house as a way of saying thanks. You sound like you have a good solid relationship with your family? I do too but yeah ask them are there any things that need doing that you could do, that might help you feel less of a burden.
 

Witty_Sarcasm

Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen
#8
Try not to be too hard on yourself. I am almost a decade older than you, and still trying to get things figured out. Just do things one step at a time to work for your independence. Don't be afraid, just think of it as a new adventure. You will get where you need to be eventually :)
 

Frances M

Mountain Woman
#9
I only got my driver's license when I was 33 years old. I didn't rely on others, I took cabs, buses, trains etc...I'm 48 now and I'm more or less on my own. If I don't know how to do something, as cliché as this may sound, I go on You Tube and look it up. It works. In May I learned how to replace my car's rear turning signal. Last month I learned how to fix a hole in my bathroom wall with plaster and tape. There is something very empowering by figuring things out yourself. You need to feel confident and be prepared to make mistakes. Start small, and take baby steps. When I got my first car in 2001, I had no clue how to take care of it. I showed up at a gas station with the hood steaming. The service man told me my oil tank was "bone dry". I had no idea I had to put oil in a car. Nobody taught me. Like everyone said, it's a learning process, you never stop learning. Self-taught brings a lot of pride if you can take the first scary step.
 

Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#10
I only got my driver's license when I was 33 years old. I didn't rely on others, I took cabs, buses, trains etc...I'm 48 now and I'm more or less on my own. If I don't know how to do something, as cliché as this may sound, I go on You Tube and look it up. It works. In May I learned how to replace my car's rear turning signal. Last month I learned how to fix a hole in my bathroom wall with plaster and tape. There is something very empowering by figuring things out yourself. You need to feel confident and be prepared to make mistakes. Start small, and take baby steps. When I got my first car in 2001, I had no clue how to take care of it. I showed up at a gas station with the hood steaming. The service man told me my oil tank was "bone dry". I had no idea I had to put oil in a car. Nobody taught me. Like everyone said, it's a learning process, you never stop learning. Self-taught brings a lot of pride if you can take the first scary step.
Excellent post, thank you for this, I really needed to hear this encouraging post.
 

DrownedFishOnFire

Back into the wild where I belong. Out of your way
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#13
Its scary at first to be doing the unknown by yourself but practice makes perfect is the motto. We all go through that at one point or another. Independence is about making mistakes and learning from it. Live and learn! Age isnt a factor in this no matter where you are in your life.
 

Frances M

Mountain Woman
#15
Thanks guys it's nice to know everyone does and figures things out at their own pace
A good thing to remember is that there is never any big rush. Everyone is in such a rush to do everything NOW. The internet age has made most people believe in instant gratification, because anything we want to know about or read or see is right at the tip of our fingers. Honestly that's why I moved away from the city. Life is more relaxed in the mountains and I try to live my life as old-fashioned as I can. I hate using too many clichés, but the journey is the important part, not the destination. Corny :)

I read a good quote the other day: "Don't confuse the fact that you only live once with feeling the need to do everything yesterday. Believe it, there will be time if you use it well." That kind of opened my eyes up because I've been a little down about being 48 and still renting. I set too high standards for my budgeting, feeling the need to reduce debt fast and save fast and I've been failing for years because it was unrealistic. Whenever I failed, I would spend money to feel better, putting myself deeper into debt. Now I'm giving myself a break. I will buy a house in the next few years and I'll do my best to reduce my debt and save a down payment realistically. If it takes three or four years, so be it.
 
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