Walking around and trying to stop pressing the self-destruction button.
- Thread starter Unknown_111
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Thank YOU. Only one person can take these shadows away which is the third party but I have made a heavy commitment which I shall honour. This person will have to bear responsibility for my demise and when I do the final commitment. They must realise you play with people's mind. I will continue to help here everyday until my last breath. I post these words to show even though I suffer ideation of suicide everyday. My death will not in vain. When you have no choice but to fight for your life, YOU have to dig deep to fight for YOUR LIFE. I might have misled but I will never betray this person. This person will realise this when these passages come to the public eye.
I am determined to give back to this forum as it's my daily gin and tonic. People need to realise that life is about compassion and none of this "eye for eye" attitude I see everyday. It's takes one person to start something such as an act of kindness a day and then perhaps the world can become a better place. I think society itself has totally forgot itself about what humanity is but more self - interest in short lived fame and fortune.
I write from the heart but I must continue my daily struggle to help others and suffer as someone has the power of my life. If this third party wants revenge then be it but at least I did not throw the "first stone". I do not think I have suffered enough but I want to use my experience to help others.
I live on a daily basis but I will get to the top of the mountain of life because I have no choice. I might not succeed but I am determined to do it.
I promise my story will continue and WITHOUT revenge...
I am determined to give back to this forum as it's my daily gin and tonic. People need to realise that life is about compassion and none of this "eye for eye" attitude I see everyday. It's takes one person to start something such as an act of kindness a day and then perhaps the world can become a better place. I think society itself has totally forgot itself about what humanity is but more self - interest in short lived fame and fortune.
I write from the heart but I must continue my daily struggle to help others and suffer as someone has the power of my life. If this third party wants revenge then be it but at least I did not throw the "first stone". I do not think I have suffered enough but I want to use my experience to help others.
I live on a daily basis but I will get to the top of the mountain of life because I have no choice. I might not succeed but I am determined to do it.
I promise my story will continue and WITHOUT revenge...
I was fine yesterday as I kept quiet but I upset someone who I really care about. I did not mean to upset this person but I did to protect them as I am thinking it will protect them in the future.
I am so down at the moment but I will survive like I do every as I have no choice but to survive by fighting for my life. I will fight everyday but without any plans for revenge but helpings others from my own experience.
If I would ever meet the third party, I would simply breakdown to tears and "forgive them what they put me through" and also ask for forgiveness back. My only worry I that would suffer a major breakdown. I fight everyday but I need to eventually make peace with myself and the third party. One thing over the past three years that I have been taught that there that hate can either destroy YOU or make YOU stronger for the future.
The only person I hate myself and dealing with my own emotional is a continous daily battle. I know that I will survive but your struggle is my struggle. So please keep reading as I continue my struggle.
I promise my story will continue. ...
I am so down at the moment but I will survive like I do every as I have no choice but to survive by fighting for my life. I will fight everyday but without any plans for revenge but helpings others from my own experience.
If I would ever meet the third party, I would simply breakdown to tears and "forgive them what they put me through" and also ask for forgiveness back. My only worry I that would suffer a major breakdown. I fight everyday but I need to eventually make peace with myself and the third party. One thing over the past three years that I have been taught that there that hate can either destroy YOU or make YOU stronger for the future.
The only person I hate myself and dealing with my own emotional is a continous daily battle. I know that I will survive but your struggle is my struggle. So please keep reading as I continue my struggle.
I promise my story will continue. ...
Thank you for your kind words. I suffer everyday through my choice as I have the impossible promise to do. The support of this forum is my medication. It's a very simple process to show others that YOU can overcome anything in life even it means losing the most important things in life
I live on a day by day basis giving back to this forum showing that WE as the SF Family can survive each day. At the end of day we all know LIFE IS IMPORTANT.
I promise my story will continue.......
PROMISES ARE KEPT AND NEVER BROKEN...
I live on a day by day basis giving back to this forum showing that WE as the SF Family can survive each day. At the end of day we all know LIFE IS IMPORTANT.
I promise my story will continue.......
PROMISES ARE KEPT AND NEVER BROKEN...
Your welcome. If all of us who suffer can save a life then we all serve a purpose on this forum. Please try to stay strong. Whilst I walk in darkness everyday I will YOU and anyone on this forum.
@PhoenixFailed, if I have helped YOU then I am serving my purpose in life I hope you are safe and remember YOU are apart of the SF family.
Never forget that.
@PhoenixFailed, if I have helped YOU then I am serving my purpose in life I hope you are safe and remember YOU are apart of the SF family.
Never forget that.
Your welcome. If all of us who suffer can save a life then we all serve a purpose on this forum. Please try to stay strong. Whilst I walk in darkness everyday I will YOU and anyone on this forum.
@PhoenixFailed, if I have helped YOU then I am serving my purpose in life I hope you are safe and remember YOU are apart of the SF family.
Never forget that.
@PhoenixFailed, if I have helped YOU then I am serving my purpose in life I hope you are safe and remember YOU are apart of the SF family.
Never forget that.
Thank you for your kind words. I survive because of this forum. However, I have noticed some disturbance in my force. I suspect one person thinks they can expose me. This person is someone I call SuperTroll. This person must think of repercussions of the future and be responsible for their actions. SuperTroll I have warned YOU before, one YOU start then YOU better think on. YOU put your future at risk.
Today, I crashed again to potential bad news. It's a waiting game for me for the next thirty days. I had a lot of help two people particularly and today I thanked then for their support for the past two years.
Today, I cried my heart knowing my whole world dropped out from my feet. But I have to hold it together as I said no one knows what I have been through. My life in such turmoil but I must keep my head held high and dignified.
More unneccessary aniexty and misfortune. I personally think certain individuals took advantage of my good nature. Heh, I think another bad hand whilst I play this game of life poker against the smiling grim reaper. Now, I have to dig deeper yet again to overcome this situation.
Given over the past year, I noticed a lot of back stabbing and a lot of nasty comments. Personally, I don't care no more especially when such insults have been down right degrading. Several comments caused me severely to crash in the past two months. You notice your true friends when all the chips are down. My mind is very fragile but I pull no more punches as I know I can survive this situation.
With this situation in hand it gives me more suicidal ideation but I know I must not do anything. I have no further choice but to keep fighting each day.
If anything happens it means at the three people who made my life hell. They will realise how I helped others to see that life is important. Like they say you can be rich in a materialistic form but the big gist richness comes from your heart. I might face darkness and a downward spiral everyday but I would help anyone.
I have found helping others has aided my recovery. I hope others who read this will realise YOU FIGHT EVERYDAY FOR LIFE.
I know that I will never get any money back from anyone especially the office cleaner. I helped others because I cared. The downside for me is that I might not able fund the APP for the forum. On a positive note, I will have more time to spend on this forum to help others like I did when I suffered with my broken ankle. The recovery is hard but I know one thing.
I promise my story will continue.....
Today, I cried my heart knowing my whole world dropped out from my feet. But I have to hold it together as I said no one knows what I have been through. My life in such turmoil but I must keep my head held high and dignified.
More unneccessary aniexty and misfortune. I personally think certain individuals took advantage of my good nature. Heh, I think another bad hand whilst I play this game of life poker against the smiling grim reaper. Now, I have to dig deeper yet again to overcome this situation.
Given over the past year, I noticed a lot of back stabbing and a lot of nasty comments. Personally, I don't care no more especially when such insults have been down right degrading. Several comments caused me severely to crash in the past two months. You notice your true friends when all the chips are down. My mind is very fragile but I pull no more punches as I know I can survive this situation.
With this situation in hand it gives me more suicidal ideation but I know I must not do anything. I have no further choice but to keep fighting each day.
If anything happens it means at the three people who made my life hell. They will realise how I helped others to see that life is important. Like they say you can be rich in a materialistic form but the big gist richness comes from your heart. I might face darkness and a downward spiral everyday but I would help anyone.
I have found helping others has aided my recovery. I hope others who read this will realise YOU FIGHT EVERYDAY FOR LIFE.
I know that I will never get any money back from anyone especially the office cleaner. I helped others because I cared. The downside for me is that I might not able fund the APP for the forum. On a positive note, I will have more time to spend on this forum to help others like I did when I suffered with my broken ankle. The recovery is hard but I know one thing.
I promise my story will continue.....
I am compelled to write again as I am crying right now. I don't think I can last the twenty nine days of anguish and torment. Perhaps I will cope with it by doing the obvious and burying my head in the sand. It's hard knowing that how you going to survive when the one stability factor in your life is about to be taken away from YOU.
All I know that I must continue this terrible struggle to the bitter end. Not knowing whether I am going to be here from one day to the next. Heh, I know one thing YOU deal with each situation in hand. I truly can say I have struggled everyday. This site saved me from doing something even though I walk on a life tightrope.
The hypocrisy of the situation how can one person say "one thing" like a sharp instrument being twisted in my back. Then take it back and say something. I feel betrayed by certain individuals but like I say you must "forgive" them for "those who trespass against".
My apologies to the moderators about getting religious and I always remember "The Lord's Pray" when I use to recite in my early days at school. At the end of the day, I still think religion is a personal and individual choice.
I apologise to anyone if I have caused any offence to anyone on this forum.
I will continue to struggle on a daily darkness battle but the inspiration from YOU FOLK helps me to survive. I must admit I sound like "the same record playing over and over again."
Even if I end up doing the act of "final commitment" through personal choice then at least others will read how much I endured very day from certain individuals who saw me suffer daily.
They know who they are but remember these words will be read others. The fingers may start pointing and all the self denials will be coming out of course. Just remember how much I suffered but never took any revenge. Yes we all talk about revenge and what we would do.
But one thing I learnt over the years is that revenge is never an answer as YOU can negotiate through any troubles. Well that's what personally think but from innocent lives lost through past wars and conflicts in the world.
I wish the world could be a nice place. As I know its not about having this so called "dog eat dog" attitude. I crying as I am writing this but I must keep strong and continue my personal fight for life.
I might not see any light but pure darkness. I will never give up my fight for life. I may not able be to financially fund this site but I know the right thing to do is to inspire others not to give up the hope of living life.
Well, I am keeping my fingers crossed. As ever......
I promise my story will continue......
All I know that I must continue this terrible struggle to the bitter end. Not knowing whether I am going to be here from one day to the next. Heh, I know one thing YOU deal with each situation in hand. I truly can say I have struggled everyday. This site saved me from doing something even though I walk on a life tightrope.
The hypocrisy of the situation how can one person say "one thing" like a sharp instrument being twisted in my back. Then take it back and say something. I feel betrayed by certain individuals but like I say you must "forgive" them for "those who trespass against".
My apologies to the moderators about getting religious and I always remember "The Lord's Pray" when I use to recite in my early days at school. At the end of the day, I still think religion is a personal and individual choice.
I apologise to anyone if I have caused any offence to anyone on this forum.
I will continue to struggle on a daily darkness battle but the inspiration from YOU FOLK helps me to survive. I must admit I sound like "the same record playing over and over again."
Even if I end up doing the act of "final commitment" through personal choice then at least others will read how much I endured very day from certain individuals who saw me suffer daily.
They know who they are but remember these words will be read others. The fingers may start pointing and all the self denials will be coming out of course. Just remember how much I suffered but never took any revenge. Yes we all talk about revenge and what we would do.
But one thing I learnt over the years is that revenge is never an answer as YOU can negotiate through any troubles. Well that's what personally think but from innocent lives lost through past wars and conflicts in the world.
I wish the world could be a nice place. As I know its not about having this so called "dog eat dog" attitude. I crying as I am writing this but I must keep strong and continue my personal fight for life.
I might not see any light but pure darkness. I will never give up my fight for life. I may not able be to financially fund this site but I know the right thing to do is to inspire others not to give up the hope of living life.
Well, I am keeping my fingers crossed. As ever......
I promise my story will continue......
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Thank you for your kind words Brian. I suffered so much but how long must I suffer. Personally, I suffered a lot but I never resorted to drug or drink addiction in order to forget my daily worries. I always gave back to this forum as a sign of the remorse of hurting the third party.
I just want people to read to how much trauma I experienced and so others whatever YOU are faced with YOU must never give up the fight for life.
I think the "OCD" is going to kick in big time in order to keep me busy. I know I am going on about the same thing but I dammed my best never to betray the third party.
I cried so much, no lies, because I simply cared. I thought about doing something back in 2014. I would go to the same spot and get help by ringing support lines.
I fret over the stupid things especially when I have hurt someone's feelings. I always go back and apologise for any hurt I caused. Ok, it took me over 18 months to apologise to the third party in leaving messages. But at least I apologised and begged for my life. I don't know and whether these messages were read. I hope third party read these messages and knowing how vulnerable I am, realises that I deep down did care.
I know what I did was wrong but I kept my word by doing the original promise and WITHOUT REVENGE. I dare not contact the third party as I do not want to bring any bad memories but hope good fortune is smiling among them.
Yes, people associated with the third party might think this passage is a hold pack of lies but I say with my hand on my broken ankle I speak the truth. I know I did wrong but surely I suffered enough without revenge. The past two years have been hell but I survive on a daily basis.
I promise my story will continue.......
I just want people to read to how much trauma I experienced and so others whatever YOU are faced with YOU must never give up the fight for life.
I think the "OCD" is going to kick in big time in order to keep me busy. I know I am going on about the same thing but I dammed my best never to betray the third party.
I cried so much, no lies, because I simply cared. I thought about doing something back in 2014. I would go to the same spot and get help by ringing support lines.
I fret over the stupid things especially when I have hurt someone's feelings. I always go back and apologise for any hurt I caused. Ok, it took me over 18 months to apologise to the third party in leaving messages. But at least I apologised and begged for my life. I don't know and whether these messages were read. I hope third party read these messages and knowing how vulnerable I am, realises that I deep down did care.
I know what I did was wrong but I kept my word by doing the original promise and WITHOUT REVENGE. I dare not contact the third party as I do not want to bring any bad memories but hope good fortune is smiling among them.
Yes, people associated with the third party might think this passage is a hold pack of lies but I say with my hand on my broken ankle I speak the truth. I know I did wrong but surely I suffered enough without revenge. The past two years have been hell but I survive on a daily basis.
I promise my story will continue.......
