I was bullied when I was younger, I had 4 front teeth missing, I was also the shortest kid, speech impediment, socially awkward, anger issues, learning problems. I had an older kid pick me up on the bus once, he picked me up, held me upside down, and threw me on the seat. The principal held a meeting for everyone but the kid and his parents never showed up, instead the teachers and principal laughed at the way I said "upside down". In another school a kid took my bathroom pass, and threw it out, when I leaned into the trash to get it, he pushed me in. When I got out we fought. The principal made me use the bathroom in the nurse's station a crossed the school, he didn't get in trouble, many other things like this happened. I fought the teachers after a while too. My first principal I punched in the face, she died of cancer a few years later(still feel bad) The teachers I'd hit or spit on, and they'd have to restrain me. The second principal I kicked in the balls. After all the violence and learning problems I had, I was moved to a secondary school where I became the bully. This one kid in 5th grade just wanted to be my friend, and all I did was bully him, single him out in Dodge ball, call him names, make fun of him in any way I could (I've been trying to find him to apologise and make sure he's okay) The new school was strict on violence, at first I kept fighting the teachers, and some of the students, but I became one of the most popular kids in my screwed up school somehow. I made fun of a kid with big teeth, made fun of one for being extremely tall and skinny, one for sleeping with everyone and with 3 of my friends in the same night (she died, heroin overdose, left 2 kids behind) anyone I didn't like was a target. Over the years since I've graduated, I've reached out to a few and have made amends, still doesn't make any of it right. I've been struggling with trying to forgive myself for any of the horrible things I've done. If it helps my conscience any, I've only attempted to commit suicide 2 times so far this year, which is much better than last year. Although this year one of the attempts almost worked. Besides that my life is doing a complete 180, I have a girlfriend I love, a new car, the unconditional love of my child, a great job, but still I slump into the depths of depression at times, and avoid everyone and everything. Still, I'm going to keep looking for the kid I bullied in 5th grade, and see if he'll talk to me, let alone accept my apology.