How silly some of my family members are. They just…wow…where to even BEGIN trying to explain the complete and utter lack of intelligence they seem to have, at least on the psychological level. It just baffles me to no end. What an utterly hollow existence it must be, to be so completely disconnected from the self. I can’t really even imagine.
I said some extremely benign stuff about feelings, then when it was clear there were manipulation attempts being made (dragging in stuff that wasn’t actually all that relevant, and also was not factual anyway but just ignorant opinions about things) I called her on that nonsense and said that it did not work on me.
Well damn. After that, talk about the most defensive, immature, temper tantrum, projecting, abusive, hostile, mean and moronic reaction. Some of the bs nonsense she said to me was pretty unforgivable imo. It’s not only “what” she said, but how she said it, and the fact that she would even cross a major boundary and “go there” at all.
Wow. Just despicable. I do not use the word “hate” lightly but…well…my feelings towards her right now do kinda feel strong enough to be described in such a way. The only way I feel like I could maybe forgive such an irrational, mean, abusive, uncalled for and harsh reaction would be if she was to completely offer a very sincere apology, along with some assurance that she would never say such a thing to me again. But I know better than to think she has any real capability of doing that at all, ever. Nope, I’m quite certain she feels nothing about speaking to me in such a way. And after all this nonsense, she has the damn nerve to actually call me (me!) selfish and self-centered.
Beyond unbelievable, like I’ve actually pinched myself to see if maybe I was just having a horrible nightmare about having such god awful family members or something, but no, this has actually, really happened and they actually think that is a perfectly acceptable way to treat me. It is truly no wonder I enjoy and appreciate surreal art so deeply, cos my damn life really is surreal having to deal with these mental midgets. Sometimes I’ve felt a bit bad about being on this site for over 15 years, like asked myself “wtf is wrong with me that I’ve needed it for so long?” kind of thing. Well now I see, it is because all this abusive family nonsense is pretty much ongoing, and always lurking just beneath the surface of their bs fakery. But this treatment is their real feelings, and maybe why they feel the need to be so fake like they are. It is just insanity imo. Definitely for the best that we have no contact for a while. I always suspected they were still judging me very harshly, and it turns out I was exactly right. They have zero respect, class or decency at all to be able to behave in such a crummy way to me like this.
Ok, sorry for the long post, I don’t ask or demand that anyone either read something so long (and possibly boring lol) or reply to it. I am truly just venting here, and wow, just getting it typed out like this and “out of my head” actually does feel like it’s helped a bit. I am already feeling like there is a “light” at the end of this, and I think it is a combination of my own inner strength, the support I have from some kind members on here, my mom, sis, kitty and rl friend and everything else that is good and right in my life. I have actually survived even worse treatment than this before in my life, and at a very young age no less. I can definitely find a way to survive this too