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What exactly is this feeling?

Dante

Took 5 years to learn how to make a custom title.
SF Supporter
#1
We have every mental issue there is all under one roof in this forum, from a normal reaction to a bad month/year/life to severe diagnosable dysfunction, so since my Google-Fu is a little hit and miss, I wanted to ask this congregation of the extremely qualified if there is a specific name to this feeling I keep getting. Its not really depression, or anxiety or anything I can simply name, I just feel on edge, like I'm uncomfortable and very impatient about something, anything I do my mind immediately starts complaining that its boring or pointless, and as long as I am unable to distract myself (which is very difficult in this state) my mind is screaming for something but doesnt seem to know what, its saying this is pointless, I want to do something, then when I do something it says it wants to stop, it tells me I should die, or hurt myself or eat a whole pack of chocolate biscuits, then it tells me I am a shameful pig for wanting to eat so many biscuits, then back to begging to die, its like living with an ADHD Emo in my head, and that feeling of being on edge and that darting between thoughts just gets stronger over the course of hours until it either fizzles out or I do something drastic to shut it up like hurting myself or getting drunk and breaking down. Its bloody annoying.

Anyone know what the hell this is?
 

case.no.87

โ˜ฎ๏ธ๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿ’Ÿ๐ŸŒซ๐ŸŒŒ
SF Supporter
#2
If you are craving sweets it could be something with your blood sugar. Cranberry juice or dark chocolate and blueberries for the antioxidants might help. Anytime I have inflammation I feel really on edge. A smoothie or juice with green apple carrots and ginger may help. Potatoes and other fruits and vegetables are healthful for liver function; oils and alcohol are not. Vitamin deficiencies are culprits of fatigue and distress. Sometimes something is wrong and symptoms are the clues. Iโ€™m not a nutritionist or psychiatrist and my experience with hearing and sound sensitivity are most likely different. Guessing will each day be good or bad is rough. I hope you feel better.
 
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Dante

Took 5 years to learn how to make a custom title.
SF Supporter
#3
If you are craving sweets it could be something with your blood sugar. Cranberry juice or dark chocolate and blueberries for the antioxidants might help. Anytime I have inflammation I feel really on edge. A smoothie or juice with green apple carrots and ginger may help. Potatoes and other fruits and vegetables are healthful for liver function; oils and alcohol are not. Vitamin deficiencies are culprits of fatigue and distress. Sometimes something is wrong and symptoms are the clues. Iโ€™m not a nutritionist or psychiatrist and my experience with hearing and sound sensitivity are most likely different. Guessing will each day be good or bad is rough. I hope you feel better.
Its not sweets in particular, its meant to be an example of something inane and pointless. Its mostly just my mind alternating between screaming, demanding any escape and grasping at straws, but I dont FEEL any of it, except the tension.
 

Gonz

๐Ÿ‘ซโค๏ธ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ’Š๐Ÿš‘๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜ฅ
#4
Yeah, that feeling where you want fuckinโ€™ something but everything is stupid, nothing can keep you occupied, so you end up just sitting there thinking about how much you hate yourself. I dunno what itโ€™s called, but itโ€™s the same kinda feeling that makes me think 5 bottles a day of recreational cough medicine is a fine idea.
 

Inya

babaya gayolera
#5
Back in those days, I thought it was a depression anxiety mix. Like they were fighting each other in my head for dominance and I felt if I don't do something I'm about to lose my mind. But all my impulsive somethings were never the right ones.
 

Dante

Took 5 years to learn how to make a custom title.
SF Supporter
#6
Back in those days, I thought it was a depression anxiety mix. Like they were fighting each other in my head for dominance and I felt if I don't do something I'm about to lose my mind. But all my impulsive somethings were never the right ones.
Well, did you ever come up with a fix? Its driving me nuts, it really is like being perfectly fine but having an ADHD Emo follow me around, the kind of morose irritating bastard that wears out your will to live -_-
 

Nick

โ˜†โ˜†Still Ducking Fantastic โ˜†โ˜†
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#7
Hi Dante,
I don't know what to call that specifically. I am absolutely horrible with being able to identify how I am feeling, give it names. I can describe it, but that actual identification of even basic feelings has always been elusive for me. I do know that feel though, I can completely relate to what you are describing. When you run through all your coping skills and none of it seems to make any difference, in the end you just feel empty and longing for anything to fill that void.

For me getting out of these periods of time has always sort of been about going through the motions. Which is really a non answer, right? Forcing myself to do at least some of the things I know I need to be doing, even though they aren't "helping" at the moment. Eating properly, trying to sleep, doing one thing at a time. Talking to my friend always helps, but the more the feeling sets in the harder time I have reaching out. I've been attending online support group and that has been helpful as well. A place where I can physically speak to people. Often it's easier to express myself out loud vs text.
 

Wispiwill

Well-Known Member
#8
I don't know what it's called either but I get like that - usually when I'm transitioning between up and down (or rather down and less down). It's like I've got enough energy to want to do something but not enough to actually DO anything properly which is annoying. There's an edge of anxiety to mine so I'm more likely to get panic attacks. It's also part of my feeling/not feeling cycle. So I'm feeling more but I don't seem to know what to do with them so I'm feeling them all at the same time.

Not sure what help I can be except to say it doesn't last. It's a transition - for me anyway. I try to occupy myself with a set of things that don't require my full attention. Reading stuff I don't care about or have read before, watching programs that are easy to follow (and usually pausing every 10 minutes because I just can't sit that long). I also clean the house. I can clean a little, watch a little, clean some more. It looks normal, like I'm taking breaks from the cleaning but really, I'm flitting from things. It doesn't matter that I don't actually clean the whole of a room - I've done bits and the physical aspect - doing something physically exhausting, helps calm my mind down - at least a bit.

Not sure how much that helps, if any. I'm interested to know if anyone has a name for it too.
 

Angel777

Well-Known Member
#10
Sounds like depression and low self esteem , as the amount of neg thoughts you are getting are not good . And this effects your self worth . As for getting things done , you can only do what you can manage , depression is an energy Depleter. As for eating sweets , they will not help with your health. A good nutritious diet , with fruit and veg , and fish . vitamins b , c , could help. The best thing you could do , is talk to your doctor about this, and see if Meds could help, change of diet or support could help you .
 

Angel777

Well-Known Member
#12
It could be low self esteem , as you said when you try somthing you get bored , beat yourself up tell yourself your worthless etc . You might be afraid to try somthing challenging , due to fear ,anxiety , failure , as you said , you tell your self to stop . Seems like you Could be afraid of sucsess , remember to be sucsessfull you have to fail a bit to to learn . Iโ€™m not a professional , but it might be worth talking to a counselor about this . I wish you all the best
 

Dante

Took 5 years to learn how to make a custom title.
SF Supporter
#13
Start doing meditation. Make it a habbit, take it seriously as a discipline.
Nope, I tried meditation, it is too effective as a release valve, if I ever get more of the emotional crap out then I may take you up on it, but at the moment there is too much pressure behind that damn.

Found this online. Might be of interest (or not).

Agitated Depression
Yup, that sounds pretty close to it, YAY I have a name for it now. Now I am comfortable in the knowledge that this feeling right now that if I dont scream myself horse until I collapse and cry forever then I am going to throw up has a name! ^^ Still, a name makes it easier to exercise google-fu on possible fixes, thanks.
 

Inya

babaya gayolera
#14
Well, did you ever come up with a fix? Its driving me nuts, it really is like being perfectly fine but having an ADHD Emo follow me around, the kind of morose irritating bastard that wears out your will to live -_-
I was fixing (masking) it with cannabis. Although it did help me when nothing else has, I don't recomend it.
 

Wispiwill

Well-Known Member
#15
I find doing something physically exhausting helps me when I'm like that (as long as it doesn't require any actual thinking). Have you tried that?
 

Dante

Took 5 years to learn how to make a custom title.
SF Supporter
#16
I find doing something physically exhausting helps me when I'm like that (as long as it doesn't require any actual thinking). Have you tried that?
Nope, I am generally quite against exercise though, tell me to lift a weight and put it back down 50 times or run from point A to point B and back and I will give you a look that says "you're an idiot aren't you", but ask me to trek up a mountain with a 40 kilo weight on my back, if you give me a reason why that weight is needed up the mountain, im your guy. I can NEVER muster motivation for something unless I have a tangible end result to aim for when I am finished....
 

Wispiwill

Well-Known Member
#17
Ah well in my case it's more along the lines of cleaning - like cleaning the oven or cupboards and such like. Physically arduous (for me anyway - I'm not exactly fit), requiring little to no thought. It seems to burn off the excess energy helping me be more calm and, if I'm lucky, I get a slightly cleaner house too. It's entirely up to you what you do to exhaust yourself and, if you want, the aim could BE simply to exhaust yourself. Just a thought. Like I said, it can help me sometimes so I thought I'd suggest it in case it might help you. Sorry.
 

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