Hello everyone. Not sure if I should post this here or in the « I have a question » section.
I’ve been having a lot of dilemmas recently and I may go job hunting again later this year. Like most people, I assume, I hate interviews, and I hate even more the fact that in my field it takes between 5 and 10 appointments (technical tests, psychological tests, a million interviews) which can last a few months until finally meeting the most important person who will accept you or not. You have to be very motivated to go through all of it. And mentally prepared…
As a person with a severe depression, a little bit of anxiety and not handling stress very well, I guess if some older people (or not) have any advice, I’d be very grateful. I have problems with lying about myself, pretending I am very motivated and that I am mentally healthy, and a low self-esteem resulting in an important Impostor Syndrome during my studies and at the workplace. For those who don’t know, it means I struggle with accepting that my accomplishments (ex. my master’s degree) are as valid as for any other person. I cannot even accept my title… I know, if I don't truly believe it, it will always show up, but I don't know how to believe it.
I know that if I have to fake my motivation, it means I probably shouldn’t apply, but a big part of it is due to depression and suicidal thoughts, not the job itself. Also, positions are usually very mysterious in the beginning, I never knew the project I was applying for before applying because of confidentiality rules, and it’s seriously annoying when you don’t have a single clue about what they will ask you to do. Normally they present the project at the last step, when you basically got the job.
The hardest question for me was « Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years? ». When death comes to your mind, I think it must show up on my face. I don’t see anything when I think about the future - my best and most honest answer would be « Not in this country. » or « Dead. » but that’s not what they want to hear (and it’s not related to profession anyway). I know I cannot be 100% honest, but I cannot come up with an answer that would satisfy them and not sound like an obvious lie.
I do talk about it with my therapist, but she knows me very well and I can be totally honest with her, it’s not the same. Plus she thinks there is no problem because I know what I should say on interviews.
Any help with that or with confidence will be a blessing. If you can't help, thanks for reading anyway.
I’m a civil engineer - if it matters. Urgh.
I’ve been having a lot of dilemmas recently and I may go job hunting again later this year. Like most people, I assume, I hate interviews, and I hate even more the fact that in my field it takes between 5 and 10 appointments (technical tests, psychological tests, a million interviews) which can last a few months until finally meeting the most important person who will accept you or not. You have to be very motivated to go through all of it. And mentally prepared…
As a person with a severe depression, a little bit of anxiety and not handling stress very well, I guess if some older people (or not) have any advice, I’d be very grateful. I have problems with lying about myself, pretending I am very motivated and that I am mentally healthy, and a low self-esteem resulting in an important Impostor Syndrome during my studies and at the workplace. For those who don’t know, it means I struggle with accepting that my accomplishments (ex. my master’s degree) are as valid as for any other person. I cannot even accept my title… I know, if I don't truly believe it, it will always show up, but I don't know how to believe it.
I know that if I have to fake my motivation, it means I probably shouldn’t apply, but a big part of it is due to depression and suicidal thoughts, not the job itself. Also, positions are usually very mysterious in the beginning, I never knew the project I was applying for before applying because of confidentiality rules, and it’s seriously annoying when you don’t have a single clue about what they will ask you to do. Normally they present the project at the last step, when you basically got the job.
The hardest question for me was « Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years? ». When death comes to your mind, I think it must show up on my face. I don’t see anything when I think about the future - my best and most honest answer would be « Not in this country. » or « Dead. » but that’s not what they want to hear (and it’s not related to profession anyway). I know I cannot be 100% honest, but I cannot come up with an answer that would satisfy them and not sound like an obvious lie.
I do talk about it with my therapist, but she knows me very well and I can be totally honest with her, it’s not the same. Plus she thinks there is no problem because I know what I should say on interviews.
Any help with that or with confidence will be a blessing. If you can't help, thanks for reading anyway.
I’m a civil engineer - if it matters. Urgh.
