I think that, with your Mome @Witty--that, there's a lot of factors at play here. Number one, her chemical / substance abuse of the bottle & alcohol. That kind of colors all else. And in such a way - that when she drinks - you almost have to take anything she says, or does, under consideration of more of... a grain of~* / So don't try to analyze it, in a way in which you would, if this were not the case. And she was more reasonable; rational; logical. Etc. I hope your B.I.L knows & understand the situation he would be getting into, in terms of the living arrangements, and all of the precise ramifications that are entailed therein. She needs you, to be there to take her punishment, and her crap, in order to feel better about herself. And to release, or let off steam. In order to reset her normal, and return her balance back to a state of normalcy or homeostasis. In her mind, and when in those conditions.