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Beka

Well-Known Member
#1
So I find this hard to explain but, (I assume) due to my BPD, I find that I'm very in tune to others feelings. Particularly those close to me such as family. But I can't control it. It's like empathy where I can for some reason pretty much always relate to/feel how the person is feeling but I can't make it stop. It spirals me.

I've often said that I actually really struggle to be very close to people who are always glass is half full kind of people because it literally makes me so depressed to be around them in that mood 24/7, and I don't mean people who are struggling with mental health but I mean people who are just naturally negative.

I hate this, my brother is constantly having problems at the moment and so is my sister and I can't talk to them because it's draining me. Anyone have any ideas on how I can help myself?
 

may71

Well-Known Member
#2
I hate this, my brother is constantly having problems at the moment and so is my sister and I can't talk to them because it's draining me
If you are keeping your distance from them, it might help to explain to them why you are doing this. If you just cut them off, it may burn bridges unnecessarily.
 

Beka

Well-Known Member
#3
If you are keeping your distance from them, it might help to explain to them why you are doing this. If you just cut them off, it may burn bridges unnecessarily.
They see it as me being unsociable, I do reply to messages but it's often in a group family chat (my mum, myself, brother and sister) rather than personal ones. I just wish their problems wouldn't affect me as much as they do.
 

Innocent Forever

Go as long as you can. And then take another step.
Chat Pro
SF Supporter
#4
There are ways to learn to build a distance so that you aren't absorbing their energy.
Something that has helped me but usually doesn't is drawing a stick figure of myself and using whatever colour I need at the moment (I'd choose it intuitively and I think you could from what you say) draw around myself until I have enough of it. For boundaries - if I understand correctly it's really boundaries you're talking about here - I'd use the colour purple which is meant to be a protection. It only gives so much though, it doesn't change anything, really there are ways of learning not to absorb it but I don't really know how to as I've never learned it....
 

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