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lightning05

Well-Known Member
#1
I am new here and just needed somewhere to write my feelings where I wouldn't be judged. Tears keep falling out of my eyes. I know I am not going to do anything and I don't want to but the thought is there and it hurts so badly. Just hoping that when I wake up tomorrow the feeling will go away or at least be lessened. I am looking for support groups in my area so I can feel less alone about having these negative feelings. I don't have the urge, just the thoughts and that is what bothers me the most. Right now I am going through a rough patch, missing a few people that have passed away and am very stressed. My sadness feels so overwhelming sometimes even though I have friends who care. I feel guilty for not being happy and wished there was a way for this pain to stop. For a few days I've felt lethargic and down and I want relief.
 

ThePhantomLady

Safety and Support
SF Supporter
#2
Welcome to the forum, @lightning05 . You have come to the right place and I hope you find the support you need here.

I'm sorry you're struggling and having such thoughts. No one deserves that. I am happy to hear you're reaching out though. You're doing the right thing!
Have you considered counseling to help you as well? Perhaps that would do you good.

Please take care of yourself, and know that you are strong for asking for help!

*hugs*
 

ThePhantomLady

Safety and Support
SF Supporter
#4
That's great to hear hun! *hugs* I know it can be hard work staying strong, but you're doing all the right things!
And lovely to meet another Whovian!

Know you're always welcome to use the forum and chat here, and that my inbox is always open!
 

Lestat

Well-Known Member
#5
Hi, please keep using this place to chat. It can easily a great help. It can act as a temporary support group for you while you look for one.

People here are suffering also, being in a group can help because relating to people makes things easier.
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#6
I am very glad I found this forum, yesterday it really helped me get through my morning. It is good not to feel so alone. It's hard sometimes because the people who support me don't necessarily understand suicidal ideation themselves and even though they don't judge me and want to help 100% can still make me feel like I am crazy. I've found a support group near me that meets in a couple of days so I am going to give that a shot.
 

AdamTide

Well-Known Member
#7
I'm very sorry for your sadness. I know how your loved ones dying can leave you feeling hollow. My Dad died January 9th. Every single day I used to take care of him at his nursing home, where he couldn't stand or walk or fend for himself in any way. I used to cool down his head and neck and he'd look sooooo relieved. My Mama died August 31, 2013 in front of me. It was completely unexpected. I cried SO hard.(cried so much I could not believe.-Darius Rucker). But now I honor them by helping people as often as I can. And you can honor your deceased loved ones as well. It can be by volunteering or donating to a local charity. You could give food to a local food closet. You could help teach someone how to read. You could donate clothing items. Just ANYTHING that helps others. You would be helping them as well as yourselves. Helping others makes you feel useful and productive and shows you what you have to show for your life. Far as loneliness, I assure you, you are NOT alone. Everyone here cares about you and will help you in any way we can. Thinking positively can help a lot. Find something you enjoy and focus on it. It could be music or writing or reading or exercising or just whatever you enjoy. Get good out of each day. Music is therapy and it can help a lot. Comforting, uplifting music is good. A great song is Rockabye by Shawn Mullins. In it, he sings "everything's gonna be alright." And he's right, you ARE going to be alright. :) In Breathe, Anna Nalick sings "cradle your head in your hands and breathe just breathe." Sometimes all we can do is out very best and take comfort in knowing that we did everything we could. You WILL be ok. hug
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#8
Thank you for the music suggestions. Sometimes when I feel sad I listen to a lot of reggae music. Bob Marley and songs with uplifting messages. Lately I have been crying so much. So much that I didn't realize I had this many tears in my body. I find myself beating myself up, saying I am pathetic and I am a loser. My counselor and I have come up with an exercise for this, where I write my bad thought and then I write something good about myself in order to keep the positivity coming. I have been riding my bike and doing yoga, but sadly these distractions only last for as long as I am doing it. I go to counseling at a women's shelter and I donate clothes there often. I want to volunteer there, but since I am seeing a counselor there I can't and I think the issues also hit too close to home for me right now. I appreciate the suggestions and kind words.
 

Lestat

Well-Known Member
#9
I am very glad I found this forum, yesterday it really helped me get through my morning. It is good not to feel so alone. It's hard sometimes because the people who support me don't necessarily understand suicidal ideation themselves and even though they don't judge me and want to help 100% can still make me feel like I am crazy. I've found a support group near me that meets in a couple of days so I am going to give that a shot.
That's great that you have found something. I have also been looking around where I live and just found a potential place. In the UK I think it's getting easier to find places. I don't know if you have the same where you are.

I understand what you mean when you say that people around you help but don't understand. It can be frustrating... But, they do have good intentions
 
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